10 Reasons Why Men Almost Always Come Back

by Joseph Rossi|Follow Him on Twitter Here

The time after a break up can be very tough for you, however, it can also be tough on your ex-boyfriend. Despite partying it up and meeting new women, when the music calms, you’ll always be there in the back of his mind. He’ll wonder how you’re doing without him and rehearse the what if’s in his head over and over again. Do men always come back? Not necessarily, but there are some obvious reasons and some not so obvious reasons why men will come back into your life. It may not be permanent, but men are fighters when it comes to love and are always willing to make a come back for the girl they want.

So why do men almost always come back? Here’s our top 10.

Men Always Come Back

1. Sex

When a man isn’t getting his fix he becomes sexually frustrated. This is especially true if he was getting some with you on a consistent basis. Be careful though, don’t just assume that he came back because he’s not getting sex elsewhere. Sometimes it can be a comfort thing. Maybe the new girl he’s getting it on with doesn’t do the little “tricks” that you do? The sad reality is that most guys aren’t getting any straight out of a relationship. They’ve been in relationship mode too long that it’s tough to hop back in the field of play and land a GOOD hookup. With that being said, more than likely he’s just not getting any.

2. He Genuinely Misses You

The men that love being single secretly wish they had a relationship and the men in a relationship secretly wish they were single again. As soon as the relationship ended, he was a bit sad but then realized he was single again. He could now go out with his boys, hit on girls, party and drink without having the guilt of a girlfriend weighing him down. Soon after though it all slowly fades away. He’ll start to miss you and the little things that came along with being in a relationship. This almost always happens..unless his ex-girlfriend was a complete bitch. Then he’d rather drink with his buddies.

3. Jealousy

When guys see an ex-girlfriend with another guy it really gets his blood boiling. He may not always show it on the surface but deep down he’d really like to punch that new guy in the face. This sucks the most for guys because it reinforces the reality that you two are no longer a couple. He’ll either make sure you aren’t happy with this guy or make an effort to win you back. Men will always come back with one of these two things in mind or they’ll ignore it all together.

4. He’s Changed

Do Men Always Come Back?

Men can change if they really want to. You as a woman can never change a man, but instead can open his eyes to a whole new reality that maybe he doesn’t want to face – like the reality of living without you. If he really wants to come back into your life he’ll want to show you how he’s changed. More then often he’s kicked some things out of his life that he knows you don’t like. He’s willing to show you these things up front not only for self-gratification but also because he wants the opportunity to be your man again.

5. He Regrets Leaving

When a man leaves a woman he’ll sometimes regret his decision. He’ll start to look back and realize that he focused all of his attention on the things he didn’t like about you instead of the things he loved. As soon as he realizes the qualities you brought to the table, he’ll start kicking himself in the ass and contact you as soon as possible with the hopes that you’ll take him back. Give the stupid guy another shot will ya?

6. He’s Checking Up

What do we mean by checking up? We mean that he wants to see if you miss him as much as he misses you. He’ll send you the “hey how are you” text message as if you guys are barely meeting. He really just wants to see if the feelings are still mutual. This will bring him back around, maybe not for good but definitely long enough for you to notice that he misses you.

7. He Doesn’t Want to Start Over

Why Do Guys Always Come Back?

Going through the whole getting to know each other phase with another girl is a hassle. It can be really fun for your ex-boyfriend but eventually it becomes a “been there done that” situation. Guys would rather go back to their comfort zone (you) before starting all over again.

8. Standards

When the relationship is over a new standard is set by default. He now knows what he likes and doesn’t like. While he’s out dating new women, he’ll start to compare by default because of the standards that you set in your past relationship together. If for whatever reason he feels those standards are not being met, he’ll go back to you knowing you’re the only girl who can fulfill his needs.

9. Memories

Men will always remember the good times when they aren’t making new ones with another girl. This makes him want to make more memories with you at any cost. He’ll come back with a purpose to make happy memories instead of the bad ones you parted with.

10. His Parents

His mom or dad keeps reminding him what an idiot he was for letting you go. Any guy that has had a relationship with a girl has some kind of relationship with his parents. A mother especially knows when her son isn’t at his best and knows the reasoning behind it – a mothers intuition if you will. He’ll start to listen to his mom when she reminds him that he’d better start learning to cook, clean and sew a button if he doesn’t get her back.

What do you think?

Are there any other reasons a guy would come back? Share your thoughts below in our comments section!

Image Credit – Flickr: anniferrrvivekjenascottchene

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{ 20 comments… add one }

  • deb March 11, 2013, 10:27 pm

    I think its very confusion to s women it gives her mix feelings where she belongs

  • Smf4123 May 30, 2013, 5:00 pm

    If someone can give me some insight here I’d really appreciate it.

    My boyfriend just broke up with me. We were together for 8 months. I just found out he is “talking” to his ex girlfriend again. This women, after 3 years, left him while he was at work. Packed up her stuff and moved out without explanation. While we were together he almost never talked about her unless prompted and said what she did was unforgivable.

    We had talked about our future, marriage possibly, having a child….up until the break-up which was completely out of the blue for me.

    Can anyone, preferably a man, explain to me what is going on? Why would he just change his mind suddenly? How can men lose their feelings so quickly?

    Any insight would be great! Thanks

    • Joseph Rossi May 31, 2013, 6:42 pm

      Depending on your age, talking about marriage, having a child, and the rest of your lives talk really freaks guys out.

      When you go from one relationship, being hurt, then into another relationship and rushing into things that fast, mixed emotions can set in.

      So here’s what probably happened (a man’s perspective):

      Your boyfriend has commitment issues. He’s probably scared of being with one woman for the rest of his life without having really lived it up.

      This doesn’t necessarily mean being with more women, it simply means reaching his own goals.

      Usually there’s a deeper meaning than “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”

      From what you said, and to keep things simple, you probably just came on too strong with the marriage stuff, having a child, spending the rest of your life together talk.

      There’s always positives to take from any break up. Now you know what you want for your own future and you can only become a better person from it.

      All the best!

  • Sierra June 19, 2013, 5:32 am

    My boyfriend and I were dating for about 22 months. He texted me saying he wanted to break up because he didnt like me being friends with a guy. Ive been friends with this guy for way longer than my boyfriend and i have been talking. I didnt agree with him, so the relationship ended in an argument. After not talking for a couple of weeks, he texted me saying how he missed me and regretted everything and just wanted me back. I told him I’d be friends with him and maybe go out with him again. Later in the conversation, I started asking him questions. Turns out he broke up with me for someone else. It’s been two months since the break up, and he’s still asking to go back out. I havent completely firgiven him. Should I? How do I know if he really means what he says?

    • Joseph Rossi June 21, 2013, 11:16 am

      Taking someone back after they broke up with you for someone else is like reloading the gun and giving it back to him to shoot you in the back once more.

      He probably is deeply sorry, but it doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t do it to you again. I mean what makes you think he won’t find a new “flavor of the week” and dump you again?

      Plain and simple, this life is too short to be wasting your time on second chances. Consider it a lesson learned and take the positives from the break up. Move on. You’ve got a lot of life to live.

  • Thia July 3, 2013, 11:03 am

    Hey there,

    Can someone please help me with this one. I have been seeing this guy for 8 months now. The first 5 months of our relationship were amazing. I had never felt so close to a guy and generally just at peace with him. It was perfect. We spoke on the phone all day long and we weren’t apart for more than a day at a time. Within those 5 months he had trust issues with me. I lied on my whereabouts once but he forgave me. He did tell me during the argument that he can’t ever take me seriously. Well, things got back to normal, or so I thought. The communication was still there; the passion still there. Until the 5th month when I had to move away for 4 months for school. He changed. The calls became less (I was hearing from him one time a day as opposed to the usual 10 times) and I just generally felt a distance between us almost immediately. He never said Happy Valentine’s Day to me even after I reminded him the day before to do so.

    Well, things went down hill after that. I had been trying to patch things up with him even though he claimed everything between us was fine. So this last 8th month was the worst. A few weeks before the break up (and we were back in the same town) I kept bugging him about communication. I mean there was a time he went 5 days without speaking to me and I just felt it wasn’t normal. He swore he wasn’t seeing anyone else and would just blame it on being busy with work. I tried to break off the relationship every other week but I’d quickly apologise for it because eventually, I wouldn’t see a lack of communication as a big enough reason to break up. We were still seeing each other once a week or once every other week.

    Anyway, so I eventually had enough when he went for a party without me. My problem with that was that I was invited by a mutual friend of ours 2 weeks before the party but I said I’d prefer if my boyfriend told me himself as I don’t know the guy throwing the party. My boyfriend never did and I got mad and broke it off. He got mad, said a few things then said goodbye over txt msg (because I typed my long break up msg over text). I don’t know if I miss him because I was complaining to him more often than not about our communication and he kept reassuring me that everything was fine and he wanted to be with me. But I always felt something was wrong. Anyway I want to know if he will be back.

  • MommaOf2 July 22, 2013, 9:25 am

    I need a man’s perspective.

    Me and the mechanic were together for just over 7 months. He’s got along great with my kids, he’s slowly started stepping into a role model for them (biological father is absent). I met his friends within a week of our first date, I’ve since become friends with them as well, I know he loves me and my kids. His mom loves me and my boys (I still see her) , so much so that even though me and the mechanic split, she has since made a play area for my kids in her home and they now have toys there (she doesn’t have grandkids so I see this as a big deal). Since we broke up about 2 months ago we still saw each other regularly, he’s initiated, we talk on the phone, I’ve met more of his friends, he’s took me and my kids bowling as a treat for their good behavior. We still sleep together. Literally and sexually (he and I have both admitted to having the best physical experiences with the other) . He’s known that I still wanted a relationship with him (I screwed up and crossed a trust boundary by going into his phone to reread something which lead to our demise) and I know it will take time to gain that trust again. He’s has low testosterone, and when he’s uses his supplements regularly his drive goes through the roof, the past 2 weeks or so I’ve felt (emotionally) like that’s all her wanted me for, even though I knew (logically) that it wasn’t true. Egh feelings. I brought it up to him here got really upset and left. We didn’t talk the next day (I was at his moms) our next conversation that night was awkward. I asked if he’d meet me for lunch as an olive branch of sorts, he called and I basically said is this where you want us to be (not talking after he stormed out) ? Cause if it is then I’ll leave you alone. He said that I’m a good woman, he doesn’t have a single bad thing to say about me, but he can’t make me happy it’s either too much or not enough, so he’s done trying. We hung up shortly. Within 10 minutes he text to see if I wanted to go driving around with him (one of our typical activities if I don’t have my kids with me). He bought a book I wanted to read to my kids that we found during our travel. He made a detour on our way back to try to find the grounds to a castle we saw, which made me a little late picking my kids up. So……. My question is. He is the definition of man. He’s not overly emotional, he doesn’t express his feeling well, he’s not into huge PDA, he has physically demanding work, he loves old trucks and cars, he’s a provider, needs his space, never let’s me pay for so much as a stick of gum. He is a man through and through. How will I tell in the coming weeks if he is just wanting to stay friends (we get along extremely well in person and intellectually) or if he still carries a torch and I still have his heart.

  • decily July 27, 2013, 8:30 pm

    After being in relationship with husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I saw some good talk about this spell caster called Dr kala and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: Kalalovespell@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: Kalalovespell@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

  • Leah August 9, 2013, 2:02 pm

    Hi there
    I would really appreciate if someone could help me out
    I was with this guy for almost 2 years and a half and he ended over text, so ridiculous I was heart broken by what happened and still am to this day. It’s been a year since the break up but within this whole year I saw him a lot since we have so many mutual friends which makes things much harder, but everywhere I see him all he does is sit there and stare at me, and recently he’s been doing it so much more and when I look into his eyes I can tell that he’s not over it and I feel like he wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do I just need some advice.

  • NoName August 19, 2013, 4:05 am

    I was with him on and off for 3 years. At first we didn’t want anyone to know, because of his family. But we had an amazing relationship. He was my best friend, we could talk about anything or have fun doing whatever. He was the first to express his love, and I felt the same way. After 2 years we talked about spending our lives together, and then he proposed. The relationship got rocky because of his family, and he became overly stressed. He almost died 2 times within a week, and not long after that we found out I was pregnant. He left me. We tried to talk for about 3 weeks but we haven’t talked in over 2 months. He told me he absolutely does not want the baby and never wants to see me again. I know he didn’t leave for anyone else, as he is beyond anti-social and never goes anywhere. I’m not perfect, I can be a bitch sometimes, but he’s always been there for me. Like I said, we were best friends but now he’s gone and it hurts more than words can say. We haven’t had any contact at all. No calls or texts, not even Facebook or email. He blocked my Facebook, so he has the option for contact. He knows where I live, he has my phone number. I won’t bother him, he hates being pushed into a corner so to say. But I have convinced myself that he won’t contact me in any way. I still wish he would, but he’s as stubborn as I am. Any advice or input? I just feel lost I guess.

  • Nora October 1, 2013, 10:50 pm

    There’s this guy I hadn’t met before but spoke to almost everyday on phone. The first day I met him, we had sex, and one more after. After being intimate with him, he hardly answered my texts or calls, so I figured I wasnt needed so I kinda forgot about him. But he called and told me how sorry he was for doing that. He went to a different state to study, and stopped getting in touch like we use to. But I figured hes is just a jerk so again, I kinda stopped thinking of him until he called to apologize and promised it wouldn’t happen again. I don’t call or send texts, he does all that and I ignore him but he keeps trying. I really need to know what his deal with me is? Because I sexed with him the first time we met, he run and apologized. I want to know why hes acting the way he is. Does he love me? Should I take him seriously?

  • mara October 3, 2013, 12:01 pm

    I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR OLOKUM, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM

  • Sandra October 8, 2013, 8:30 am

    My boyfriend and I had been dating for 24 months when he broke up with me. He broke up with me because he said he wasn’t happy anymore and wanted space. I’m really broken and I miss him terribly. I really want him back! What do I do? He still has all our pictures on facebook and Instagram and it says we’re still in a relationship on facebook and it’s been almost 3 weeks. He’s been having fun hanging out with his guys and talking to girls. Am I losing him? I just don’t know what to do. It’s our first break up and I just want him back.

    • Jessica February 27, 2014, 10:14 pm


      I feel bad for so many people on here who haven’t gotten replies/answers. It’s been a while and I don’t know if you guys got back together but I’ve done a lot of research on break ups and relationships. Bottom line, it’s a good sign that he still has your pictures on his FB page. He is still hanging on to you for sure. Now you must do what you do not want to do…leave him ALONE, let him figure things out in his head.
      The rule is, when a guy says “I need space” or breaks up with you, you MUST GIVE HIM SPACE. Why? Because if you keep bugging him and going toward him he will get more turned off. Not to be mean but he is already either frustrated with you, burnt out on you, feeling crowded or a little tired of you and has lost some interest. That’s okay tho! Just tell him you understand that he needs space and tell him he can have all the time he needs. After a few days or maybe a week, he will miss the SILENCE from you and will miss you. If it’s a break up it could take a month-2 months. THAT is exactly what you must do when a guy needs space. No texting, no calling, no showing up where you know he’ll be. Is it easy? NOOOooo. BUT if you don’t give him space or leave him ALONE when he breaks up with you (make him come to you) he will pull farther away from you and you could lose him forever. Post and let us know what happened. Much happiness to you.

  • Katah October 8, 2013, 5:36 pm

    hey, for the “checking up” my ex txt me saying “hey” but thats about it but it was till like few days till he didnt txt me when i broke up with him. so when he txted me right after few days later, he misses me? btw, why would a guy ask a girl out but never hang with her? like is it cause hes that nervous or too shy to like hang with her so he make up little lies that he cant make it? is it cause hes too afraid of girls that in his mind if he come, she wont be there, so he avoid that happening by him not hanging with his girl? is it cause he dont kno how to treat a girl right? we are both young, yes, im 16 turning 17 soon and hes i think 16 if not already 17 but ik hes older than me by few months i think. anyways, why he treat me like im a bad person or something like i will hurt him? i wont hurt him and he knows that too.. plz help me anyone..? idk what to do no more and i do like him but sometimes i get a feeling that he doesnt like me and that everything is all a scam/using me that “oh yeah he have a gf” but never hang around with her.?! o.O

  • tanya November 3, 2013, 5:40 pm

    When my ex boyfriend and I broke up he turned off my phone and all contact was severed. After 4 months he has turned my phone back on. I contacted him to tell him the phone was on. He said he know it was. I don’t understand what he’s doing. I’m thankful for it but I’m a little confused. He’s the one that wanted to brake up. I know I still love him, but I don’t want to push him away. Dont know what I’m to do.

  • addie November 7, 2013, 9:36 pm

    some insight would be GREAT

    I broke up with my boyfriend after being together for 6 months. We ended because he wasn’t making me a priority. I didn’t want to be the center of his universe by any means but he was very unreliable, wouldn’t show up when he was supposed to and would always rather be out with his friends. I know he doesn’t want a relationship right now, that’s why he was acting like that. We haven’t talked since I broke up with him. We’ve seen each other in passing and said hi but that is it. Will he come back around when the timing is right for him? Should I just give up all hope?

  • Shey December 27, 2013, 7:47 pm

    Excellent analogy.

  • Helen May 12, 2014, 10:36 pm

    I hope you can help me. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he broke up with me a few days ago. I knew in my mind the NC was the best way to go, we have broken up before and I did my best to move on.. NC, rebounded yada yada. Eventually, he wanted me back. This time, stupidly, I gave in to my inner turmoil of emotions and emptiness and contacted him. This just ended up making me feel worse, as he said he feels nothing for anything (he has had depression for some time), he needs space and time to build himself back up from this, and he wants to experience life without a partner and be alone (we are both quite young) and that he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t build himself back up whilst he was with me. He said that his doubts had been going on for months, that he just didn’t feel the same. I didn’t see any of this though, I only noticed him being distant a couple of weeks ago. I thought we were good. Now all this. We lived together, so he moved out when we broke up. I’m devastated, as you can imagine, and that’s why I’m here. I want him back. I know that NC is still the best way to go from here on out (even though I really just want to apologise for being such an emotional wreck and calling him in the first place). Problem is, I have no clue if he will ever want me back or if he’ll just move on. We don’t see each other, I have no idea what he’s doing with himself (if he’s rebounded, or wanting to) and I can’t eke tabs as he blocked me on Facebook (probably shouldn’t be obsessing anyway, right?) so, I don’t know how to tell if he wants me back. He left some of his things here so if he contacts me during NC to get it back should I still ignore him? Or should I let him get his things and have to deal with seeing him/talking to him again and face the possibility I may go back to square one? He’s as stubborn as the next man, when he makes a decision he generally tends to stick to it.. Also with the depression, I don’t know if he even feels a thing. HELP. Please. Do I have any chance or should I just try and move on??

  • Baban June 14, 2014, 3:20 pm

    So I need advice guys. I’ve been in a relationship with. Guy for 8 years. We been talking about marriage and he constantly told me he loved me. I always hD doubts that is he cheating on me. Just cuz I’m a girl and I always felt insecure. But he constantly told me were older and the mistakes he made when he was 16 which was flirting on Facebook is in the past. Something big happened on his life. His dad from his home country kind of told him that he’s doing nothing in life such as school and his life is wasting away. He met me and told me all this and was thinking of moving to his country to go back to school. I cried and cried. He felt horrible and said he loves me and he’s Gona talk to his dad and figure things out and he needs to just figure it out. I wouldn’t give it a rest kept bothering him even when I reached home. Feeling so insecure. I cried and threatened to kill myself. He constantly told me he just needs to space to think and figure things out and that if I stick with him that’s all he needs. But of course I couldn’t. Felt more insecure. I kept calling and he said he didn’t wana marry me. He didn’t feel the spark. I met him the next day. He said he didn’t love me. He didn’t feel anything and he needs to break up with me to find himself as a person. He said there’s a 80 percent chance he won’t come back after this break up. I asked did u ever love me. He said I guess. He said I was the best thing in his life but he can’t continue with me. And that he felt like this for a month. Even tho he was so serious about marriage and wanting to be with me for the rest of my life a week ago. And when I always had doubts he always said we are not young and that he I’m his everythibg and we will get married. And that he would talk to my brother about us. Regardless of when my bf was drunk or sober he constantly told me that. So what are the chances him coming back. I havnt talked to him for 6 days. Using the NC rule. Anyone that can give me insight on a guys point of view. I know all those things he said about loving me wasn’t a lie. Because him as a person would never say Nyting to me just to say it now always meant what he said. That’s why the day he broke up with me seem so serious. Do u guys think it’s from anger and frustration and once time passes he will realize that he truly loves me ?


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