The way Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis acted out their friends with benefits encounter in the film “Friends With Benefits” was horribly wrong. They worked together, spent lots of time together, hung out, grabbed lunch, etc. This is a classic example of bad friends with benefits rules.
There is a real way to do this, a better way, a right way. This way is so much better than the movie that whether you’re a first timer in the friends with benefits realm, or a seasoned veteran, you’re going to get some great takeaways.
Here are the real friends with benefits rules you must follow if you want to have a successful fling with the guy of your dreams or just the guy you met at some random bar.
10 Friends With Benefits Rules You Must Follow
Don’t Fall In Love. Understand that the guy you’re with doesn’t want to date you, he just wants to have sex with you. This means that you must set any and every single emotion aside. Never ever fall in love. It’s going to make you look desperate and vulnerable for affection. As a drunk girl at a random party once said to her fellow friend “I keeps it strictly dickly.” And you should do exactly the same if you’re going to keep your friends with benefits rendezvous on track.
Set some Ground Rules. If you don’t want him spanking your ass, tell him not to. Or if you want all of your sexual desired fulfilled and that if he can’t do the job, someone else will – well tell him that as well. The point here is this, you absolutely must set some ground rules. This way there’s no sudden surprises or mixed feelings going into this agreement. The more you and him have a better understanding of how things work, the smoother your encounter is going to be.
Absolutely No Cuddling. You’re not there to cuddle and talk about your day. You’re there to get to business and perform on cue. If at any point you find yourself wanting to cuddle, then it’s time you went and found someone to date or a boyfriend.
Don’t Kiss and Tell. You want your friends with benefits fling to keep lasting right? The best way to do this is to keep your business on the hush. If you don’t think you can not tell anyone, start an anonymous blog or something and vent your feelings out that way. Always, always, always keep your mouth shut. The less you say, the more you play.
Don’t Make Conversation. I don’t know how you met this dude, where you met him, or anything else in between. The only talking you should be doing is dirty talking. You’re both there to please each other in bed, not to hang out and play video games. You’re going to get his very best if you don’t say anything or expect anything after the deed has been done.
Avoid Being Jealous. You are not his girlfriend nor does he want you to be his girlfriend. Now I know that may sound a bit harsh but this is something to expect when getting involved with a friends with benefits encounter. It’s nothing personal, it just is what it is. Being jealous means that you’re catching feelings and if at any point he senses this, he’s going to back off and then you’ll be left in the dark. Understanding that you’re both just in it for sex while remaining single is the best way to avoid this jealousy thing.
Always Use Protection. If you’re on the pill, have the shot or one of those plastic things in your arm, that’s great. The point of using protection is to ensure that you’re healthy. This is just a fling, not a lifelong commitment. You might possibly want to start a family one day, so take care of yourself now so you can be healthy later on. You don’t know what he has and he doesn’t know what you have. If neither of you have anything, keep it that way and be safe.
Ditch Him. If he starts dating a girl, ditch him and don’t come back. While it might not be in your own self-interest to lose your weekly sancho, it is in your best interest to avoid any future (and unnecessary) drama.
Don’t Party Together. Remember, your agreement is between the two of you and no one else, this means that no one else can even suspect that you two even know each other. The last thing you want is to get drunk and go handle business as usual. The main friends with benefits rule to follow is discretion. No one else can know about what you two are doing.
Be Mature. If he can’t meet up for whatever reason, take a chill pill and relax. You are not his girlfriend and he is not your boyfriend. Being mature and respective of each others schedule will actually help you find a balance that keeps both of you satisfied.
All Good Things Must Come To An End. You didn’t think this friends with benefits thing would last forever did you? If you catch feelings for him and want to date, remember that it’s not good to build a relationship on a foundation of sex. Do yourself a favor and don’t date him. End it kindly and keep it simple. Drama is not something to be a part of. You got what you came for, the deed has been done, life goes on.