If you’ve been asking yourself “should we move in together” lately, then it’s obvious that you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level. This is a good thing on your part to be committed and serious. On the other hand, are you sure your man is ready for taking things to the next level? Consider the following before making your big move..
The healthiest relationships are the one’s where both partners understand and respect each others personal space. Believe it or not, before you were in a relationship, your man did have a single life and did just fine without you. Talking about moving in will probably be really exciting for him or really scary for him. When a girl is the first one to say that she wants to move in together, it’s like you’re wanting to take things a step further. If he’s not ready, it’s going to be a huge turn off and might even push him away.
Test The Waters
Start staying the night at his place and vice versa. See how things go and see if your habits complim
ent each other or get in the way of each other. If either one of you are faking it or trying too hard to please the other person, you’re going to end up getting into some crappy arguments over nothing. The last thing you want is to damage your relationship. Try this out first, see how things go, then sit on the decision for a while. It makes absolutely no sense to get into a long-term lease if you don’t plan on holding onto your current relationship. He doesn’t want you to waste his time so don’t waste yours either.
Unfortunately, finances are one of the biggest causes for divorce. Are your finances on point? Are his finances on point? If you’re both financially independent, coming together to share finances is a really big step. There has to be some type of financial understanding and both of you have to hold up your end of your agreement. The last thing he wants to do is pay for something you said you’d pay for because you aren’t financially responsible. You wouldn’t like to do that either. If you can make this work, then the idea is worth considering. But just remember that moving together is as much financial as it is emotional.
Is This The Best Option?
Think of the reasons as to why you want to move in. Is this because you really want to move in with him and because you want to take your relationship to the next level? Or are you moving because you want to escape from someone or something. Maybe you just want to leave your city, or you want to move away from your shitty roommate or just get out of your parents house. If your reason isn’t focused on the relationship and is more focused on something you’re escaping from, you’re really doing your man a disservice by wanting to move in. It’s not fair to him or to you to move away from someone or something if your heart and mind isn’t focused on building your relationship. Whatever your reasons are, consider his feelings and your relationship first.
Long Term Goals and Happiness
You’re both individuals with your own aspirations and goals. Does this move benefit both of your long term goals? If both of your are planning on becoming actors and artists and want to move to Los Angeles then this would be a good thing. On the other hand if you both have different goals and require different atmospheres to accomplish them respectively, this moving in thing might cause some conflict. At the end of the day your happiness is what’s going to keep your relationship strong. Sacrificing your happiness and long term goals for your own place isn’t worth it and it just might be worth it to stay put and see how your relationship goes with a little more time.
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Should You Move In Together?
There are many things to consider when thinking about moving in with your partner. At the end of the day you’re going to have to make an educated decision as to whether or not it’s the best option for you personally but also for your relationship to make this move. There is no right or wrong answer in this case because whatever decision you decide to make, you will live and learn and become a stronger person because of it. Discuss your move together, your long term goals together as well as personal, and then let the idea sit for a few months and try living together off and on. If you get along well and things are shaping up, and you can manage your own finances, then maybe moving in is definitely in the cards for you.
I need advice here please, Ive been with this guy for 9 yrs and we have 2kids together then in Dec 2014 he left me and moved in with another woman bcoz he and I were fighting a lot. His been leaving with this woman since then. Few months after he moved in with her he came back to tell me he was thinking about me and that he still loves me. He would come visit me and the kids and say how much he loves me and when I ask him what about the woman he I living with, he would dismiss me and say that he and her had an agreement but now he wants his family back. He came back again yesterday saying that he is leaving her now and he wants to live with me. I have a problem coz I don’t trust him but I still love him and I want to make things work for our family but now he is doing what he did to me to her now.should I take him back or keep on walking. Help me guys plz