Why are boys so mean? Why are men so mean?
These questions do come up quite often. They also could apply to men in general or have a foundation in a specific relationship. It’s important for you to understand if there’s a pattern at hand or if you are currently in a relationship with someone you find is disregarding your feelings.
So is the question “Why are men so mean” or “Why is he so mean?” The answer is complex and needs to be broken down into smaller parts.
Are Boys Mean Or Are Boys You are attracted to Mean?
While stereotypical gender roles have become less prevalent over the past several decades’ boys and men continue to feel pressure to fill hyper masculine expectations.
Unfortunately, these characteristics will cause some men to become unsavory characters. Is he a player? Perhaps he doesn’t value your opinion? Is this a common theme among boys you often fall for?
If that is the case, the problem doesn’t rest with men as a whole, yet the men YOU are attracted to. It could be time to reevaluate what you look for in a relationship.
If you are valuing his looks above all else then you could be setting a trap for yourself where you are ignoring important character traits and/or flaws. Or if you fall madly in love with a man you will tend to see past his flaws until you are well into the relationship. Try to stay alert and see his weaknesses without judging.
Do not be stubborn; reprioritize what you look for in a potential partner. Looks will eventually fade after all.
Are You Perhaps Being Oversensitive?
No, this is not an effort to minimize your feelings. However, it is an attempt for you to consider every possible scenario. Go back to every moment where you asked yourself “why are boys so mean“, was each situation a case of a guy being mean? Honestly?
Any hesitation in answering the question should make you think that maybe they weren’t being mean in every case. Perhaps you had a disagreement with a boyfriend and he stood true to his beliefs. If he did not yell, nor verbally abuse you, then he was not being mean – yet firm with his convictions.
When you don’t agree with your man don’t take his position as a slight or him looking down on you. He just simply has an opposing view on a topic.
Continue thinking about those moments after you finish reading and honestly judge whether or not you were being slightly oversensitive during those situations.
More Serious Problems
Perhaps you’re trapped in a pattern of dating boys who verbally and/or physically abuse you. In any such case, that individual should never be given the distinction as a “man” and you should not blame yourself.
While arguments are expected during relationships, abuse is never acceptable. Calling you derogatory names, hurting you physically, cutting you off from your friends and family are all characteristics of severe abuse in relationships.
These “boys” are mean towards women in an attempt to make themselves feel better and make up for their poor self-esteem. Those in abusive relationships should immediately seek help and terminate any communication with the abuser as soon as possible, they are not good for you nor do they deserve you. Hold your head high.
Sadly, there are a number of boys who treat women in this manner. When a guy crosses the line it’s best to not worry as to why he is acting a certain way, ending the relationship is by far the best course of action.
On A Lighter Note
Fortunately, there are a lot of men in the dating pool who will not make you ask “why are men so mean” it just takes timing, knowing what to look for, and proper priorities to find them. Also consider having a male friend take them out for beers as these guys will be able to see characteristics you may never see, or at least not see before it’s too late.
Think about the nicest guy you know, would that personality be amazing in a boyfriend? Pursue guys who can make you smile, laugh, and feel valued. Trust your sixth sense, your gut feel.
You will not regret your decision.
What Do You Think?
Are men naturally mean? Does society create men who are afraid to show emotion? Have you dated a “Mean Boy?” How long would you stay in a relationship with a guy who is mean to you? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!