The main reason your relationship is failing is because you’re doing a good job. I used to believe that if you did a good job in a relationship, you would have a good relationship. Right? Wrong! If you do a good job, you end up having a poor relationship. But if you do a great job then you’ll having a good relationship. Funny how that works out right?This particular article hits home with me because I was recently in a 3 year relationship that was going very well. We went through the honeymoon phase of being all over each other and then after that we hit a rough patch. Things just weren’t how they used to be.
I was unfaithful and so was she.. but no matter how poisonous we were for ecah other.. that negativity is what kept us together. It was almost as if we fed off of each others bad habits. She was an absolute sweetheart but I just didn’t respect her because of the types of provocative photos she would post all of instagram.
Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Countless selfies, bra pictures, and heated conversations later I had lost all respect for her.
I began treating her poorly and honestly just didn’t care anymore. Whenever I would want to leave the relationship she would cage me in emotionally like a pitiful and remind me that our love was going to make it work.
But to be honest, love alone will not make a relationship work. It just won’t. Women today are caught up in this fucking fairytale idea based world that’s been creating through movies like The Notebook and Dear John. Let me be the first to say to Hollywood.. FUCK YOU for creating an unrealistic idea of what the perfect relationship should be.
It’s not all love all the time. It’s a struggle. It’s very difficult and at times unbearable. So if women think they’re the only one’s who have a standard to uphold.. may I remind you that men ALSO have a standard held against them.
Where was I? Oh yes, lacking respect.
Once respect is lost in a relationship, as it was in mine, you honestly just don’t care anymore. Sometimes I couldn’t even believe how much of a cutthroat human being I had become. What used to be compromise turned into not giving a shit and that’s typically what happens in a relationship where there’s no respect or trust.
It got to a point where if I even picked up her phone, she would defend that shit like Charlie defended Wonka’s gobstopper secret from Slugworth. She literally would rip the phone back from my hands while screaming “GIVE ME MY PHONE!!! 👺”
Yet it was extremely weird that she could hold and even go through my phone. Look.. by no means am I saying that I was the perfect boyfriend. Not at all actually. Far from it. But I knew something was going on.. I just failed to see what was actually going on.
Towards the latter stages of the relationship things were actually going well. I had made a decision that I wanted to work on our relationship because I loved her. She was funny, beautiful and extremely loving.
While I still despised how jealous she got, how she defended the crap out of her phone and how she could have been a bit smarter (yes, call me shallow for wanting to have an intellectual conversation from time to time)… I still certainly loved the girl enough to want to work things out.
And just like that things were getting better. That is until I saw something I wish I had never seen… she was talking to someone for over 3 months behind my back. Ouch.. let that sting.
But wait.. there’s more! **infomercial voice**
It turned out that she was talking to one of my old best friends, whom I had been best friends with for over 7 years. This dude slid into her dm’s like.. 🏂
I had already warned her that he was trying to get at her.. but she still allowed it to happen.
How on earth does my story tie into this entire concept of how to mend a broken relationship with your boyfriend?
Here’s the thing.. there is nothing you can do. Trust me, I know. My ex girlfriend is by far the hottest girl where I live. Every single guy tries to get at her at all times. She wanted to make it work with me so bad that she would take me out for beers, dinners, etc.
But every single time she would take me out I’d feel bad because I knew deep down that I just didn’t feel the same way I once did. Not after she broke my trust and then twisted the dagger by having the relationship be with my old best friend.
It got to a point to where she would always cry when I said “dude.. I still love you as a person but I’m not in love with you that way. We can just be friends.” So rather than try to be friends I decided it was best to not talk at all.
If you take nothing from this article aside from my story, it should be this: you can’t mend a broken relationship if you broke the trust and did your ex boyfriend super dirty. He’ll have to make the decision himself to go back and realize that your love is much bigger than whatever issue you guys had that initially broke the trust to begin with. But if he just doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore after that, then it’s best for you to just move on with your life.
For me personally I have my goals, dreams and ambitions to look forward to. I don’t have time to wait on a young girl who still isn’t sure what she wants with her life.
Relationships should be two people who have their own lives coming together to unite as one. Not one girl making the guy her entire life or the guy making his girl his entire life. That shit is just unhealthy and overtime can kill you with stress.
So how do you mend a broken relationship with your boyfriend? You don’t. He either makes the choice that you’re worth the risk or he makes the choice that you’re history. Hope this helps.