Your boyfriend looks at other women?
Wow. I did not see that coming… **laughs** I can see how you’d be concerned with that. After all, when you commit to a relationship, you want his eyes on you and on you only. This is understandable.
But let’s be honest for a second.
Do you ever find yourself staring at a guy for more than 3 seconds and he doesn’t have something on his face? Of course you have you sly girlfriend you.
“But Joseph, I was single then, I’m in a committed relationship now and I would never stare at other men!”
Okay… **laughs** It’s completely okay to have celebrity crushes but it’s not okay to stare at the general public? Give me a break lol.
Understand this: It’s completely natural of you to do it! It’s like our human makeup was mathematically put together: do unto one side as you would do to the other. If it’s okay for you to sneak-a-peak every now and then, then it’s okay for your man to do the same.
Here are the top 5 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Looks At Other Women
It’s Habitual. Believe it or not but your boyfriend used to be single before he was dating you. He was checking out girls before the idea of you even popped up into head. So if you caught your boyfriend looking at another woman, understand that he was doing it before he met you and it’s pretty hard to break a cycle that you’ve become so accustomed to. It’s sort of like when you play with your hair in the mirror even though it makes no difference in the end. You do it because it’s become a habit.
It’s Science. I recently watched this documentary that explained how both men and women both give off different chemical scents when they are attracted to the opposite sex. Women give off this weird scent especially when they’re ovulating and men are naturally attracted to it whether they consciously are aware of it or not. It’s freaking science. You can’t expect to change your boyfriends – or any other man for that matter – biological makeup that is scientifically embedded into his DNA. Your complaining or uncertainty isn’t going to change thousands of years of evolution. It’s just part of his reproductive-ness-thingy-whatever. Science wins. Deal with it.
Beauty Attracts. I recently went hiking with my girlfriend and a group of friends in Yosemite National Park. When we got to the top of Nevada Falls, we all took a moment to enjoy the vast beauty of the scenery. Now get with me for a second: the beauty (the view) attracted our eyes to stare out into the distance. If it wasn’t beautiful I probably would have looked but wouldn’t have stared, but since it was so beautiful I found myself endlessly staring.
The same goes for other women. There are other beautiful women in the world. Even the most beautiful women in the world eventually become replaced by other beautiful women. You are not the only beautiful girl in the world. So if you see him staring at other beautiful women, just know that beauty attracts the eye. If it didn’t, then tons of girls would never care about celebrities and their beauty make-overs. It is what it is.
Physical Attraction. Chances are you love each other unconditionally, but just because he loves your body does not mean he doesn’t have other preferences. For example, my parents have been happily married for 12 years and my mom still makes remarks when she see’s an attractive man. Just because you like minestrone doesn’t mean you can’t like clam chowder. If you can have a preference for ice-cream, why can’t you have a preference with what you like physically?
This does not mean that he doesn’t care about you, it just means that he likes variety. For you to expect him to love you and your body forever, is like forcing him to buy one car and totally disregard every new model that comes out year-by-year. It’s impossible. The new shapes are always going to attract the eye, physical attraction is exactly the same.
He’s Reminiscing The Good Times. It’s true, after the honeymoon phase of the relationship, a man will begin to miss his old way of life. This doesn’t mean that he’s over you, it just means that he’s reminiscing the good times by looking at other women every now and then.
The way that you go through your Facebook and look at the good times you used to have with your girls is the exact same thing he’s doing when your boyfriend looks at other women. It’s just his unique way of remembering the good times (no not remembering other women for you analytical thinkers).
Remember That Chill Pill? Now’s the Time To Take It
As long as he’s looking at not touching you’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about. If he’s constantly doing it in front of you with girls who aren’t even attractive, then you’ve got something to worry about. At least admire the fact that he’s looking at attractive women and not ugly one’s. If you catch him looking at ugly girls, then maybe you should worry a bit.
I mean, did you honestly think guys picked up Playboy Magazines for the insightful articles, absolutely not. They want to see naked girls you know? At the end of the day you’re going to do yourself more bad than good if you constantly think about it. Try not to think about it too much and know that it’s natural for him to do so.
And if it makes you feel any better, he knows you do the exact same thing. As long as you know you care about each other, having a little eye-candy is never a bad thing. Just don’t go as far to start making guys your wallpapers or secretly hiding pics in your smartphone’s camera roll.
All in all his looking is normal and your jealously is equally normal. You guys will be okay! š
I understand it but my ex boyfriend of 6 mos looks at ugly women too! I felt disrespected each time! I told him multiple time how I felt about it and those times have always been fights. I’m done and will not tolerate it. I ended up looking at other guys/men in front of him just so he knows two can play the same game! I don’t need to be with a guy who is so disrespectful and doesn’t value me. I guess that is why he is an “ex” now. I broke up with him last night because of this and I told him many times how I felt and he never took my feelings into consideration so it tells me the guy never cared about me! He turned me off! I hope he never contacts me again. There’s a lot of cuter, more handsome and respectable guys/men out there. He’s not for me. No thank you.
mine does the same , he tells me he looks at all boobs that he hardly ever sees a face, he has no age limit and he is very disrespectful to me, thinks it is cute so not a good quality. he is such a disappointment said he loves women nude and all tits of all sizes
He always wants me to go to the beach with him so he can watch the beautiful girls as he puts it
I get it. We were recently at the beach and a gorgeous young woman came strutting the shoreline in front of us and he saiā Oh my God, There ought to be a law against thatā. His face was frozen and he couldnāt take his eyes away. She had a suit with No ass and big bobs but gorgeous. U was so hurt and feel so insecure as Iām 64 now and canāt cimpete like I once could even though Iām still thin and in great shape.
This is seriously a crappy post… itās just saying yes your dude can do this. NO. Us females while we were single also looked at dudes.. THE WHILE TIME. And once we find the one we give ALL OF OURSELVES to that one person.. itās not the old days where Vikings can have many wives.. itās the 21st century I think men are just getting babied in all the posts Iāve read about this topic cause Iām HAVING AN ISSUE with my husband. Science and smells we pull off you canāt sense that through a car window. They still be looking thinking you canāt see the beautiful chick yourself… the rest of this post is just bull crap. Ladies! Keep getting on your men itās completely normal to. You see all these videos of females ātrippinā on their men itās OKAY! Just do it when itās allowed like when heās looking for secondsssss minutes do it then… if itās just a quick glance and looks directly away like WE DO out of respect heās fine! Break it down to him and train your man. Youāre the neck heās the head you got to guide him where to go. Tell him hey babe you can LOOK at other females with your homeboys or just out in about but please donāt glare while with me. Bring up how you feel and your insecurities WHO CARES. Thatās YOUR man and he should get to know all of your thoughts and know how you feel. And if he does it again keep getting on him ITS OKAY. If he canāt fix himself in that category than sis power to you… either stay or LEAVE.
Broke up with mine today. I thought I was overreacting about this, till I searched up on google to see what other people were saying. We dated for 9months and throughout I always pointed it out and how uncomfortable it made me feel. He obviously didnāt care. Then once he decided to just make it seem better by saying āI only look to remind myself of what I have in youā, like that would make me jump out in joy and say āthen go ahead and look,babe ā. Nah I had enough & I called it off.
This happened to me …he was constantly staring at any girls constantly, and it felt like he was constantly seeking a response from, in the form of attention back and some times would indulge him in this or shoot me a look of sympathy, and it would be hugely embarrassing and humiliating..and over time my self worth/self esteem plummeted. He also started to turn extremely emotionally and phycologically abusive. If they can’t exert enough self control to show you the respect and love, you deserve, walk away and don’t look back. It just isn’t worth it. There will be plenty of guys who will be far more deserving and respectful. Better to be alone, than treated poorly. Life is too short and we get in life, how we allow ourselves to be treated.
Most girls accept their boyfriends will look at others, it’s normal. However whenever I see an attractive guy when out with my boyfriend I purposefully look away out of respect. It pisses me and most girls off because many boys do it when out with their girlfriends.
It’s blatantly disrespectful and would hurt most peoples feelings
I understand how you are feeling. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 14 months now, and he eyes women up. He even does it while he is talking to me. He says I’m imagining it, it’s all in my head and that hurts me so much.
Mine does the same. So hurtful
My bf of over 3 years always looks at women’s profile pictures on Facebook. Usually they are unknown to both of us and sometimes he goes back to ones he’s already searched and viewed. They seem so be all really beautiful friends of his friends. We share a computer and I can see the browser history. It hurts my feelings when he says I’m the only one for him. And how beautiful I am. It feels forced. Obviously I’m not if this is his daily ritual.
I understand completly. Mines nearly 4 years. plays computer games constantly and when im away or in the early morning even before work he goes on facebook and looks up womem he knows on facebook. And either his friends ex’s or his ex or just women. i have no idea why. Typical male. i do what i want when i want. I love you but on his terms. They don’t realise how lucky they are and how we make them feel. x
Ok so looking is one thing but what about exchanging phone numbers yet never actually meeting up? My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years has exchanged numbers a few times now with woman, he claims it is friendly… he recently however, reached out to one via text when we were disconnected, not broken up, and also lied about getting her number when he told me he gave her a ride. Fishy?? It feels weird to me. His default is that “I never followed through and as soon as I realized I stopped texting.” My feelings are, why exchange numbers in the first place if I am “the woman of your dreams…”??? How do I let that go? So sad.
Hi Ann, It does sound weird. If he is lying about it he has something to hide. And as he keeps looking at other women I would suggest moving on. He may learn a lesson when you actually move on and realise what he had with you was very special and want you back. Or he may just continue on his way. Either way at least you will know…
Regardless whether or not other girls are beautiful, Iām sure your boyfriend wouldnāt want you looking at other guys especially in front of him. Thatās just completely disrespectful and honestly, your boyfriend should think of you as the most beautiful girl in the world in his mind. He should be satisfied with what heās got and not have a need to look. You canāt honestly expect us to compare a landscape with a person. They are different things. That scientific fact I canāt take seriously either because itās just an excuse. As he should also only be physically attracted to his girlfriend, and the same goes for girls who are committed to someone already too. It goes both ways but if you have to look at someone else then thatās already deep down mentally cheating. I could understand the part of what they think it would be like being single but if theyāre thinking that then honestly they shouldnāt be in a relationship or married because then they obviously arenāt happy. You would never think that way if you were in a successful relationship because you wouldnāt want to have it any other way period.
I agree with Jade completely. If u are committed all that matters is ur partner. We hv so many excuses to be unfaithful des days..no wonder break ups n divorces are so high. My grandparents, parents n uncles hv successful marriage n the secret is honesty n faithfulness. The above article is from a menās perspective. An excuse to be unfaithful.
Usually I don’t mind my boyfriend looking at other pretty girl but not continue staring and keep turning his head many times throughout his time with me, then it is disrespectful. My ex did that s couple of times when we’re together before but after we talked about it, he stopped as he knows its disrespectful. Somehow my new boyfriend, he kept doing it even if I tell him it’s ok to see once if she’s pretty as I also likes to see pretty good looking people but we have to learn to let go of what is not yours either. He kept saying its my thought. I am not dumb, I saw what I saw what happened in front of my eyed and I am tired of it now. To be honest, not trying to be boastful, I am above average and everytime I go out there are tonnes of guys looking snd staring at me. To be honest, firstly I felt sorry for their girlfriend/partner as I know how they felt. Secondly personally I usually gets very disrespectful to the man who’s staring at me when he had his girl beside him. On the other hand, my boyfriend sees when there are plenty of guys staring at me, he would start to come closer, pull me to him, hug me etc etc. Why can’t we play a game of respectful to one another instead.
My boyfriend and i of 2 years we go to the casino…we have a problem already of him staring really bad at other women in my presence and he has been caught a lot and I gave talk to him about how it makes me feel..
So we are walking around looking for slots to play on…I noticed 2 blonde skinny young ladies sitting playing slots I know he is going to be looking cause that the type I catch him staring at all the time…so I look back and sure enough he is staring. .so we find 2 slots together sit down start playing then I keep seeing him starring off to the left so I get up and sure enough these girls have moved right across from him …so now he doesn’t real have to move much to stare but keeps looking every 5 second. .so I get up and stand in his way of looking….now I don’t say anything what is the point he will just lie and get mad and tell me I’m the one with the problem so he doesn’t want to leave that slot but he is not winning…
So I get him to go change slots and then I get from him every excuse in the book to leave my side to go find those girls …first I’ve got to use the washroom then leaves… then I getting us a drink then leaves…then I’m going to cash these vochers The leaves….then I’m going to go back to that slot I was winning on then leaves….but now I have loss my money and going to the slot he said he was going to play but instead I find in wondering around in a panic like he has loss something or someone. ..
What do I do or what can I do talking just making it a fight because he just lies about it and turns it to my fault…
I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM EITH MY BOYFRIEND. HE. CANT KEEP HIS EYES TO HIMSELF. FIRST OF ALL HE HARDLY EVER LOOKS AT ME ESPECIALLY WHEN HES TALKING TO ME. I HAVE ALSO NOTICED HIM STARING AT ONE OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS. HIS EYES ARE ON HER CONSTANTLY WHILE SHES TALKING. SHES NOT ATTRACTIVE EITHER. SO I JUST DONT GET IT
Good post calmed me down. Just a bit though. Yes I already have my insecurities just like everybody else,more than the average person and yes he shared my photo on his facebook page but he keeps accepting friendships from anyone he says it doesn’t matter,that he doesn’t care about Facebook,that I am living with him and that I am too jealous. He really does accept anyone and it really bothers me I kick it to the back of my mind but it’s like. He does repost my pictures but he accepts friendships from Russian,Spanish,Romanian,any nationality girls or…boys less often.
The girls are..very pretty,young,slender,model like girls,and often post flirty pictures. I don’t know what to think cause I am unsure if I am over thinking this but at the same time I don’t understand cause he already has more than 3000 friends…and 80 % girls. Young and very pretty,sexy,many single(or spambots) I do have deep feelings for him but this is somewhat aggravating to me. Don’t know what to think,I feel like I am not allowed to get older somehow and that I am not enough this way
To be honest, sometimes I cannot help but to notice other attractive men. It’s not something I’m looking for when I am out with my s/o, it just happens. I’m thinking it’s the same thing when he notices other women. The only thing is he gets annoyed when other men look at me and he spends his head around like an owl trying to figure out who I just checked out lol. Guys should know that of course they aren’t the only ones who look. If they are getting upset about it, they should understand this is what they are putting their partners through as well.
This happened to me …he was constantly staring at any girls constantly, and it felt like he was constantly seeking a response from, in the form of attention back and some times would indulge him in this or shoot me a look of sympathy, and it would be hugely embarrassing and humiliating..and over time my self worth/self esteem plummeted. He also started to turn extremely emotionally and phycologically abusive. If they can’t exert enough self control to show you the respect and love, you deserve, walk away and don’t look back. It just isn’t worth it. There will be plenty of guys who will be far more deserving and respectful. Better to be alone, than treated poorly. Life is too short and we get in life, how we allow ourselves to be treated.
My boyfriend of almost a decade does this and it upsets me so much. He used to save a lot of photos and GIFs of naked or semi-naked women to his phone and it was a genuine accident but I stumbled upon them. I was so upset, I cried. I told him how much it hurt me and he apologised and understood and deleted the images. Recently I discovered that he subscribes to almost ten threads on Reddit of NSFW images of women. Fit and naked, wearing see-through clothes, wearing yoga pants, and so on. I’m so crushed. How can I compete with that? I am nothing like those girls. We haven’t had sex in months and months and we barely show affection. We’re just too busy according to him. It makes me sick that he’s probably scrolled through those threads while in bed next to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’m not enough. I don’t know why he does this, especially when he knows how much it upsets me. He says he loves me and my body but I just can’t believe it when he regularly looks at women that are nothing like me. I’m clearly not what he wants. It makes it worse that he keeps encouraging me to do hardcore exercise so I’ll have abs and a toned butt. It’s for your health, he says. Yeah right, he probably just wants to see his fantasies come to life. Why can’t I be loved for just being me?
i dunno what to do at this point, My bf and I been together almost a year. one thing that bothers me and that i’m stuck on, is eye contact\looking. whenever my bf and I go to stores or just out in town, he will gradually look at other females. i’ll catch him doing it then confront him. he says “I looked bc you looked” or “I wasn’t staring at her, I was looking around”. now my mother says it should be ok for a man in a relationship to look but not touch. she says there will always be somebody prettier or just better in general. also, its healthy in a relationship. She may be right, but I am so bad with my anxiety n insecurities that it kinda hurts me when he does it. it makes me feel like I’m not good enough..I don’t wanna get mad about it bc its only pushing him away n starting an argument. Like I said, I’m stuck at this point. what do I do?
i dunno what to do at this point, My bf and I been together almost a year. one thing that bothers me and that i’m stuck on, is eye contact\looking. whenever my bf and I go to stores or just out in town, he will gradually look at other females. i’ll catch him doing it then confront him. he says “I looked bc you looked” or “I wasn’t staring at her, I was looking around”. now my mother says it should be ok for a man in a relationship to look but not touch. she says there will always be somebody prettier or just better in general. also, its healthy in a relationship. She may be right, but I am so bad with my anxiety n insecurities that it kinda hurts me when he does it. it makes me feel like I’m not good enough..I don’t wanna get mad about it bc its only pushing him away n starting an argument. Like I said, I’m stuck at this point. what do I do?
My mother says its ok n healthy for a man in a relationship to look but no touch. It may be true in some way, but that shit lowkey hurts. I already have anxiety n low self esteem\insecurities. So in a way when I catch him doing it, it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I’m pregnant n so very hormonal so its worse bc emotion starts rushing in and at that very moment I’ll smack em in the back of the head or just straight up give him a dirty look n yell. Ive become so crazy about this situation, I don’t know how to deal with this
Yesterday I saw my boyfriend liked this chick’s IG pic and left 2 heart eye emojis. I’ve noticed before he’s done this with other females but maybe 1 emoji. It bothered me more cause this particular chick was running her flat wide butt on his manhood in the club once so I fell like they’ve been intimate cause she also mentioned on one of his fb posts about coming for him. This was 2 years before he and i linked up. I screenshot the comment Nd pic, he said that’s old (it was 3wks ago smh), then he said sorry, then after he called me, I wouldn’t answer and he said it was just a comment that im talking it too far smh. I just feel disrespected. I tagged a guy I bought tshirts from once and he flipped. Later he told me he looked at the guy’s fb and 2 other guys that comment or like my posts often smh.