You’ve been dating for a while and things seem to be going well in your relationship. You really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend. He supports you, tells you you’re beautiful, and really goes out of his way to do things for you.
And then he says it…
“Babe…I think I need some space.”
What the hell does he need space for? Everything is going great! Aren’t they…?
Why He Needs Space
There are many reasons why your boyfriend might out of the blue say “I need space,” but in fact it’s something he’s probably been contemplating for a while.
Men tend to make decisions rationally, whereas women tend to make decisions based on emotion. I could be stereotyping a bit but for the most part, and from my perspective, this is true.
Now based on that rationality, here’s why he’s said that he needs space from your relationship.
He’s A Young Man
There’s a funny joke that says “if women could get boners, they’d get them more than men!”
As a man, I find that hard to believe and highly doubt that women are hornier than men. But if they are, then enlighten me with some scientific research.
It’s biologically embedded into the male DNA to want to reproduce. We were blessed with reproductive instruments that aren’t shy to say hello when the feeling of sex enters our brain.
So since men are so sexual and because it’s human nature to want more, the lust for variety sets in. Doing the same thing over and over again with the same person would eventually become boring. Unless of course you being to treat your man to spontaneous sex in different places.
A young guy doesn’t want to “settle down” quite yet. He still wants to live, to breathe, and to ultimately continue to have new experiences without emotional restraints.
You’re Being Too Clingy
It is 100% natural for two people who spend entirely too much time together to get sick of each other. Disagree? Take this for example…
Have you ever had a friend stay over for a few nights for whatever reason, and at first you thought it would be totally cool, but then 3 days later found that they had gotten on your every last nerve?
This is because of habits and the interruption of theirs within yours. If you have a set routine of things you enjoy doing and then all of a sudden your friend stays over for a few nights, well now all of a sudden your friend is naturally going to interrupt your pattern of habits.
And unless human’s are making the conscious decision to change their own habits for themselves without being influenced or impacted by someone else, they don’t like change.
So the same thing goes for you and your boyfriend.
If he asks for more space, it’s because you’re interrupting his routine! He has things to do and although he enjoys spending time with you, he still needs to have his sense of solitude. To be around the guys, to sleep in his own bed by himself, to go an entire day (yes ladies one day away from your boyfriend isn’t going to hurt) without hearing from you.
Men are naturally independent predators who prey on single women. So all of a sudden when in a relationship, and no longer independent or preying, if his entire nature suddenly shifts, it’s going to aggravate his natural way of being and therefore he will become annoyed of your clingy-ness.
You’re Doing Too Much Of “The Little Things”
Most other relationship websites will tell you to keep doing the little things. Here’s the deal, when you do to much of the “little things,” (although it’s appreciated) it loses it’s value over time and will begin to be annoying.
Example: It’s sort of like having a dog. When the dog is a puppy, you want to sleep with it, cuddle, give it attention, kisses, take it to the park, etc. However, over time, these little things can begin to seem like an annoying chore.
When you’d come home and your dog would jump on you as a puppy, you loved it. Now that the sucker is 60 pounds plus, you no longer enjoy it. It’s breath has gotten stinky, the tongue is too much, the dog sheds a ton of hair, etc.
Catch my drift? He needs space.
Now this isn’t to say that you’re a dog, nor are you being compared to a dog. Instead, what is being compared is the repetition of the “little things” over and over again. What was once new and appreciative, is no longer new (although still appreciated).
And when new is new, it’s exciting. When old is old, it’s boring and bland.
So if you’re always cuddling up against your boyfriend when watching tv, texting him 24/7 to see what he’s doing or where he’s at, calling him all the time to “check up,” and last but not least – staying the night at his house all the time – your cuteness can and will eventually be mistaken for annoying-ness.
What Do You Do About It?
Men are very simple creatures. So the what’s the best solution to solve your relationship? Give him some space! If he says he needs space, don’t be concerned, it is quite normal particularly for guys who are entering into their first serious relationship.
The funny thing about guys is that we want space, but when you give us too much of it we think the absolute worst. We think you’ve forgotten about us or that you’ve even stopped caring.
So ultimately you just need to have balance in your relationship. If you’re always texting him to tell him about your horrible day at work, maybe stop with the negativity and vent it off to one of your friends or to an online forum or something.
If you’re staying the night 7 days a week, cut it down to 3 days per week. This is going to give both of you the time to have your own personal life experiences that are really going to be beneficial for your relationship when you come back together the day after.
You’ll actually have something to talk about!
Finally, if you’re talking about the marriage thing a lot, kids, saying I love you too much or anything else that implies the rest of your lives together, keep it on the low.
The last thing a man wants to do is to force an emotion that he doesn’t feel yet. Like a safe with a combination, the code to a man’s heart is patience, kind gestures in moderation, and lots of sex. Lots and lots of sex. 🙂
It is perfectly normal for a guy to suggest that he needs space at some point. Or he if doesn’t actually say he needs space, he is probably thinking it
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