The time after a break up can be very tough for you, however, it can also be tough on your ex-boyfriend. Despite partying it up and meeting new women, when the music calms, you’ll always be there in the back of his mind. He’ll wonder how you’re doing without him and rehearse the what if’s in his head over and over again. Do men always come back?
Not necessarily, but there are some obvious reasons and some not so obvious reasons why men will come back into your life. It may not be permanent, but men are fighters when it comes to love and are always willing to make a come back for the girl they want.
So why do men almost always come back? Here’s our top 10.
1. Sex
When a man isn’t getting his fix he becomes sexually frustrated. This is especially true if he was getting some with you on a consistent basis. Be careful though, don’t just assume that he came back because he’s not getting sex elsewhere. Sometimes it can be a comfort thing. Maybe the new girl he’s getting it on with doesn’t do the little “tricks” that you do?
‘The sad reality is that most guys aren’t getting any straight out of a relationship’
They’ve been in relationship mode too long that it’s tough to hop back in the field of play and land a GOOD hookup. With that being said, more than likely he’s just not getting any.
If they were given the option most guys will testify that “consistency” is very important; they would rather choose quantity over quality. The truth is if you gave them quality and quantity, which is a winning combination for any man, chances are high that he will be back sooner than you think.
2. He Genuinely Misses You
Editor’s Note: This video has been added as we have A LOT of positive feedback / success stories and encourage you to have a look if you feel you could do with some help getting your man back and keeping him…
The men that love being single secretly wish they had a relationship and the men in a relationship secretly wish they were single again. As soon as the relationship ended, he was a bit sad but then realized he was single again. He could now go out with his boys, hit on girls, party and drink without having the guilt of a girlfriend weighing him down. Soon after though it all slowly fades away. He’ll start to miss you and the little things that came along with being in a relationship. This almost always happens..unless his ex-girlfriend was a complete bitch. Then he’d rather drink with his buddies.
The truth is that the “novelty” of being single will soon wear off.
Due to the fact that he hasn’t been single for very long, it may be harder than he initially thought. Last time he was single, he was more than likely younger and on top of his “game”. The reality of singledom may be completely different to what he envisioned in his head. As soon as he gets bored and frustrated with the single life, he will run back to you.
Jump to : 10 Clear signs Your Man is cheating
Jump to : Stop arguing with your boyfriend and save you relationship
Jump to : Do Guys like to cuddle
Jump to : How to date a busy man
3. Jealousy
When guys see an ex-girlfriend with another guy it really gets his blood boiling. He may not always show it on the surface but deep down he’d really like to punch that new guy in the face. This sucks the most for guys because it reinforces the reality that you two are no longer a couple. He’ll either make sure you aren’t happy with this guy or make an effort to win you back. Men always come back with one of these two things in mind or they’ll ignore it all together.
4. He’s Changed
Men can change if they really want to. You as a woman can never change a man, but instead can open his eyes to a whole new reality that maybe he doesn’t want to face – like the reality of living without you. If he really wants to come back into your life he’ll want to show you how he’s changed. More then often he’s kicked some things out of his life that he knows you don’t like. He’s willing to show you these things up front not only for self-gratification but also because he wants the opportunity to be your man again.
When he makes those positive changes no matter how small they may be, he will immediately want to show them off to you, you and you alone. Remember that you were his “go to person”.
5. He Regrets Leaving
When a man leaves a woman he’ll sometimes regret his decision. ‘He’ll start to look back and realize that he focused all of his attention on the things he didn’t like about you instead of the things he loved‘. As soon as he realizes the qualities you brought to the table, he’ll start kicking himself in the ass and contact you as soon as possible with the hopes that you’ll take him back. Give the stupid guy another shot will ya?
Guys forget just how much they should appreciate you. It is quite normal for a guy to get irritated quickly and to start taking you for granted. After some initial exploring on his own, he will soon discover that your unique qualities and strengths that he was originally attracted to can’t be replicated that easily.
6. He’s Checking Up
What do we mean by checking up? We mean that he wants to see if you miss him as much as he misses you. He’ll send you the “hey how are you” text message as if you guys are barely meeting. He really just wants to see if the feelings are still mutual. This will bring him back around, maybe not for good but definitely long enough for you to notice that he misses you. It will drive him absolutely crazy if he thinks for one moment that you are not interested anymore. Despite how he acts or what he says, the truth is he has an ego he needs to stroke.
7. He Doesn’t Want to Start Over
Going through the whole getting to know each other phase with another girl is a hassle. It can be really fun for your ex-boyfriend but eventually it becomes a “been there done that” situation. Guys would rather go back to their comfort zone (you) before starting all over again. Starting over again comes with all sorts of risks.
8. Standards
When the relationship is over a new standard is set by default. He now knows what he likes and doesn’t like. While he’s out dating new women, he’ll start to compare by default because of the standards that you set in your past relationship together. If for whatever reason he feels those standards are not being met, he’ll go back to you knowing you’re the only girl who can fulfill his needs.
He will start to get irritated with other girls. Soon their pretty exterior will “wear thin” and he will realize that they are unable to meet his needs and standard’s. There are so many different aspects when it comes to being intimate and having a relationship with someone, that the chances are extremely high that they will not meet all his standards. The odds really are in your favour and not in the favour of any other girl.
9. Memories
Men will always remember the good times when they aren’t making new ones with another girl. This makes him want to make more memories with you at any cost. He’ll come back with a purpose to make happy memories instead of the bad ones you parted with.
Social media is actually going to be your best friend in this situation. Many guys will not admit this, but the truth is that every time a photo of you pops up, it will drive him mad. There are memories of you all over social media and the best of all is that men are “visual creatures”. Photos especially are likely to make him sad and he will start to miss you. Everybody in his life will more than likely bring up memories of the two of you. The memories will bombard him and he will want to start over and create new memories with you.
10. His Parents
His mom or dad keeps reminding him what an idiot he was for letting you go. Any guy that has had a relationship with a girl has some kind of relationship with his parents. A mother especially knows when her son isn’t at his best and knows the reasoning behind it – a mothers intuition if you will. He’ll start to listen to his mom when she reminds him that he’d better start learning to cook, clean and sew a button if he doesn’t get her back.
‘The chances are really high that either his parents or even a good female friend will try to speak sense into him’
Regardless of the peer pressure from his mates, that will wear thin very quickly. If his mates are single, he will soon realize that they are in no position to be giving him advice. If they are single or in bad relationships he will soon stop listening to what they have to say He will start to value what the people he loves says, and the influence of his parents and family will start to make him change his mind.
Jump to : He Needs Space
Jump to : Why are boys are so mean?
Jump to : Why Men pull away after getting close
Jump to : How to find Mr Right
What do you think?
Are there any other reasons that men always come back? Share your thoughts below in our comments section!
Image Credit – Flickr: anniferrr, vivekjena, scottchene
I think its very confusion to s women it gives her mix feelings where she belongs
I have been dating a guy I have known for over 30 years. He had a stroke 5 years ago and has limited use of his right arm. He promised me last summer to take me to the beach and never did. Now he has plans to go to the beach for a week with his friend and her daughter. For some reason he won’t let me go. I have never seen the ocean and he knows how important it is because that’s one thing I want to do before I die someday. He was so cruel and harsh when I begged him to let me go. He said under no circumstances are you going there’s not enough room. I am crying my eyes out. What should I do?
Hi it’s time you moved on w your life. If can not appreciate you then say goodbye to him. Life is short. If you want to see the ocean plan a trip of your own and see the ocean yourself. May I suggest san diego .
I went to san diego after 20 years by myself. I had so much fun.
Believe in yourself and do this trip plus it’s time to find someone new. Show him you don’t need him. Good luck.
Why are you begging him in the first place .rule number one..never beg no man for nothing honey!
True dat. I don’t mean to sound all ghetto, but um….true dat!
Just one life. Do not waste time with someone that ignores your needs. If roles were switched, would you take him to the beach? If yes and he cannot “give” the same, you’re better off without him. X
Go on your own time girl! You don’t need a man to take you. Besides if you went with him and the other girl, you’d probably be bored out of your mind. So you should go and experience it the way you want to without him telling you how to. You just might meet someone new while you’re there 😉
This is crazy ! You never saw the ocean ? And he is refusing to take you ? Why are you losing your time with such a stupid man?
Pack your bags, invite a friend, or go alone To enjoy yourself and make New friends at a Nice hotel in front of any Beach. Anywhere in Florida is a great choice / or some beaches in New Jersey .. Anywhere In The Atlantic ocean side. Or California in the pacific .. Omg so many options and you are crying over a loser. Go live your life and your dreams. If you are waiting for someone to make you happy, you are the loser one.
Break up with him!!! Hes playing u! U know in ur heart exactly what is going on! Respect urself and drop him like a bad habit!
Leave him alone alone and find someone else life is two short live it to the fullest.
Dump him
Yes go by urself even though u wanted it to be with him he’s rude and mean knowing u wanted to go and still didn’t bother with planning a trip to take u I was in similar situation but I dust it off and went my self had a good time without him and I seen him with another girl at the beach so fuck him and replace him his lost right someone will appreciate u and do watever u want he sounds like a true asshole and probley super insecure too hon best of luck with finding mr. right
what a horrible person! obviously he cares more for his friend and her daughter than he does for you. If his friend knew that you would like to go with them would she allow you to go? if it were me i would just book a holiday and go on my own..maybe on that holiday i might meet a nice man! your boyfriend seems to be a total user. best of luck…don’t wait for his return after his seaside holiday move on
Hello I would very much appreciate a male perspective for this one. I was dating and then engaged to someone for 7 years. He and I are both are “older” and having kids was not on the table (though he wanted to) He also knew that this was very unlikely even in the begining of the relationship. 2 years in we were engaged, and 4 years in he seemed to change his mind. This was however AFTER I helped him keep his house, and helped him a lot of other ways. I wasn’t desperate, I thought we were building a life together, and I really loved him and wanted to support him as much as possible. He worked 2 jobs however, and was NOT a free loader, he did take a lot of my “then money) for granted though. However it is also very important to note that I have a Special needs son, who this man really did try to parent and love, eventhough he never really accepted my son’s disabilities, or the myriad of challenges that go along with them. Nonetheless, he was far more of a “father” than ever my son had experienced before. My son’s father and then husband had abandoned both of us years before, and this man was also only the second man that I have been with in over 20+ years.
Eventually (as I had previously gone back to college) I graduated and to my horror, there were no teaching jobs available, eventhough I had been told previously, that when I got out of school I would have a job waiting for me. The economy climate had dramatically changed in my area with several school closings etc, and then on top of that, my son was given yet another diagnosis. Needless to say, it was very stressful. We did not live together, but he was staying at my home (as it was very close to his job) rent free, and sometimes he helped with food utilities costs etc, but still did not think that he should start to help out or even give me any of the money that I lent him to keep his home. Needless to say, this scenario wore thin, and we started to argue a lot. He would go home and leave me thinking that he was gone for good, all the while he did not see anyone else ( I have proof I am not an idiot) But eventually, I started to feel taken advantage of and taken for granted, and considering how much I had supported him when he needed help, I was surprised that he didn’t want to help me and my son out, in our time of need.
He had always said that he would pay me back too, and honestly, I thought that since we were getting married, it really wasn’t a question of him paying me back, but just doing the right thing ya know? Not abandoning someone he said that he loved?
Eventually, (sorry this turned out to be a novel lol) He broke the engagement, I gave him back the ring, and then… He started the Get the girl back campaign, which I will admit, that I fell for at first, but eventually he started to be angry again because I didn’t seem to “really” be looking for a job. I was, but I’m sorry, I went to school for 8 years to get my Dual degree, and I wanted to have a career in my profession. Eventually I had to work 2 jobs to keep “teaching” as a substitute. He got mad for one last time, and I locked the door. And really thought, that I was going to eat the money, and swallow the love, and just stop feeling in “limbo” already.
I mentioned above that he was only the second man in over 20 years that I had in my bed, and honestly, he was the ONLY man I had ever truly let into my heart. I was never as emotionally present, or open to truly “being” with someone as I was with this man, but though I may “own a pussy” I ain’t one, lol I refused all of his repeated attempts to “lure me back in” I didn’t “get back out there” because, well, call me old fashioned, but love for me, was not easily replaced, and frankly (though I am still indeed quite Hot even at my “age” LOL ) The thought of getting “wriggly and giggly” with someone again, is not something that does not scare me. I would sooner parade nekkid in the local Giant Eagle in the produce section with disco music, than show up in my “altogether” with a stranger. Again, I get offers, but oddly, they are men that are far younger than I, and they are all under the impression that I am still in my late 30’s on a good day, or early 40’s on a less than good day.. But.. I digress.
Fast forward to 6 mos ago. In spite of our estrangment for a year. my Ex fiance works 3 min away from my home (he lives 45 min away though) I live in what can best be described as Mayberry from hell! LOL So everyone knows everyone’s business. My Ex found out of two horrific tragedies, and one upsetting situation that I recently suffered. One my Kittie dying, two my brother killing himself, and three, my finally getting a steady fairly lucrative job out of teaching, and then alas, it was eliminated due to once again, the economy..
He reached out to me, and I caved. I folded like a cheap pair of sunglasses, and though I did accept his offer of “comfort” I really did not expect him to still want me back. I was wrong. Not only does he still want me back, but he is doing things that he has NEVER done before. AND I recently found out that he has not dated anyone other than to talk to people (as I have done as well) But he, who before me had a penchant for getting over someone, by getting under someone else? Had not only not done that, but had told anyone who would listen that he still wanted me back. To further furrow my brow in confusion, he also (HE INITIATED THIS TOO BY THE WAY) recently told me that he had been a selfish prick (his words) and that not only was he going to pay me back what he owed me (also his words) but that he felt that he had totally taken me for granted and that he really was there for me.
I am undoubtedly grieving, very intensely over all of the recent loss, and I won’t mind telling you that his “comfort” is very welcome right now, but as one of those “pesky broads” I simply must do the “overthinking thing” so I asked him, if I should now assume that we are “back together?” He told me that we were, and that though he was not interested in “rushing back into an engagement, he wanted us to keep trying.
Ok, now, finally, my questions, and hence the need for a male perspective Once the tear dust settles, and I am once again my happy, free-thinking, JOYFUL self, which I most decidely am not right now, is this just about him reaching out because he really does love me now, and hates to see me suffer so much? Is he just feeling sorry for me, and because he is lonely, he is latching onto the familiar? Is he manipulating me again (though I do not think that he was aware of it, I do think that for a lot of the relationship, he did do this, but then, I am no victim, I allowed him to do so, eventhough at the time I was also not aware of this. Does he really mean that he LOVES us this time, and can a man change his mind again and really mean it? He knows that I am the marrying type, I won’t even tell you how long I held back the dessert, before he got to enjoy any. He knows that especially at my age, I am not going to be someone’s “girlfriend” for very long without a specific trajectory, so am I just a “place holder” until he finally tries to “move on” with someone else? One other little item of interest? I recently found out thru someone who saw him on match when we were still broken up (for a year remember) that he no longer has any profiles up, and apparently this happened right around the time that he “reached out” to me.
I will not “front” here, I am quite perplexed. I may be a sucker, or even have been one in the past, but I have done a lot of “inner healing work” since he left me for the last time, and I am no longer handling things between us the same way. I am not reacting, nor am I expecting, I am merely grateful for the kindness. I still do love him, but I no longer feel the way that I once did. Losing my only family other than my son, to suicide, really changed a lot of things for me. I am not the same person. Which makes his renewed interest even more interesting.
I have always been a BADASS my whole life. I have always had a lot of things that I had to deal with in life that would have made a lesser woman fall down and stay down. He knew me to be a Reddish headed “spitfire” who never went down without a fight (well unless it was fun giggle blush) But now, I am a mere shell of the Wildcat I once was. He was never really able to handle any real crisis without it ‘rocking his world” when we were together, so why is he so willing to “be here” for me now, when I am such a mess. Plus, I am exhausted, and though I try to keep my sense of huma, I am profoundly sad. This man never seemed to understand how hard it has been to raise my son with mulitple disabilities alone (he is 20 this month) and put my life and my dreams on hold, and yet, now, when I have very little fight left, he is all of the sudden rushing in like a Low Rent Gallahad. Why is this? And more importantly, will it last?
I am trying to get help, and I have no intention of not resuming my former reputation of Ms Never Say Die, but it is going to take a lot. A lot of time, a lot of tears, and a lot of patience. Plus, my health is not good, or at least not as good as it used to be. When we were together he could barely handle it at all when I got sick. I hardly ever did, but now??
Ok, again, I apologize for the length of this OPUS.. If your eyes have not yet crossed in rebellion, your modem is still working, and you haven’t yet fallen asleep, I would truly appreciate a “male’s perspective” I really do love him, but life is short, and I don’t know if I can really trust him to truly commit this time. After 7 years together, and one year apart, and now this latest “entanglement” He has to know me, I have only changed with the shock of all of the loss, but underneath, I am still the same pain the ass, loveable, loyal, and at times over-thinking woman. All of the women that I have asked will call him a Narcissist, or a loser, and tell me that I am better off. Some have also told me to get my money and use him for sex LOL and or “comfort” and then leave him when I am better. I am not wired that way. I can’t hurt someone or at least “consciously use them” Thank you for this forum. I eagerly await your comments. PS Ladies, feel free to add whatever you would like to say as well, but keep in mind, just like all women are different, so it is with all men. If HE had not reached out to me, and if HE had not initiated the re-pay scenario, and if HE had not suddenly (he never has EVER said this before) copped to being selfish etc, I would not be on this website asking these questions. I for one am not that hopeful for the “exception” and think that it is far wiser to believe that the “rule” predominantly applies to most relationships. However, it never hurts to ask Mr.Perspective? Yours is the first page that I have seen where an “exception” is even presented. Thanks again, Kelly
People can change. Just as you changed. I would take him back but not wholly. I would keep back just a little to see if he has truly changed. Then after a time to see if he had really changed, I would slowly release that final bit. Trust but not completely trust. Also you have your son to think about. How is he handling it all? I too have an adult (25) disabled child (MS). But thankfully she has found herself a gem of a man who helps me take care of her. They got married last week and will continue to live with me.
I too have been left by someone recently. Someone who healed my broken heart after my divorce. He said that he would always be there for me and now he is gone. He just couldn’t handle all that is my life. Lol!, it is too much for me sometimes (all the time). He didn’t say that but that is how it came off from what he said when he left. I doubt that he will ever return. And now I have to decide whether I want to let my heart heal again or just lock it up tight.
I am also not in the best of health, I have Lupus. And that makes for some interesting times in this house between the 2 auto-immune diseases.
Just stay strong and Smile! He did return. Whether it is for good or just a short time. Enjoy that time with him. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Thank you Betty for your reply! I am sorry to her about your situation, and I get that you may feel like you want to give up on this love thing as well. The only thing that has helped me through this really is prayer and just asking for God’s will to be done. My ex has said that he knows exactly what he wants now and has had those months to think about everything, and he loves me and wants to be with me. I am doing exactly what you said and just kind of going with the flow, not giving my trust 100% as yet. Again, I’m praying for him as well and that God gives him clarity, as well as myself. So far, my ex is making a lot of positive changes and only time will tell how long this lasts. I hope that whoever is meant to be with you and in your life will be! There is a somebody for everybody, I really believe this.
Thank you for responding. I agree that people can change, but they have to want to , and I for one do not want to wait for someone to act the way he should have been acting all along. I did allow him one last chance, but I am not a “cat toy” and do not wish to be played with anymore.
I do not think for a moment that all men are like this, but this one has had ample years to show me “exactly” who he is capable of being. I don’t have the time or the patience to wait for him to “make up his mind” after already knowing who I am for so many years. Shite of get off the pot? LOL
I am also very happy for you and your daughter, unfortunately, my son willl never be there. His situation is no longer as much of a factor if I choose to date again however.
Thank you for your kind response.
One day at a time.
Kelly
You said he was on Match wellwake up smell coffee he didn’t match with anyone because hes Narcissist they onkly think about themselves and will manipulate you believe anything it will be same shit a Narcistic personality doesn’t change hes only trying be with you because no one else will put up with him don’t take home back don’t be with narcissitic person it will drain you of your very soul you will be dead two years of mental stress he will have you so bound to his ways his rules please leave him alone I’m begging you please a guy work have that disorder nobody likes get someone nice laid back personality he left he didn’t respect you first place get great church talk to Jesus councelor you eed get self esteem built up then you wont want be treated like hes doing leave him alone get dog or pet if you lonely don’t need him
If someone can give me some insight here I’d really appreciate it.
My boyfriend just broke up with me. We were together for 8 months. I just found out he is “talking” to his ex girlfriend again. This women, after 3 years, left him while he was at work. Packed up her stuff and moved out without explanation. While we were together he almost never talked about her unless prompted and said what she did was unforgivable.
We had talked about our future, marriage possibly, having a child….up until the break-up which was completely out of the blue for me.
Can anyone, preferably a man, explain to me what is going on? Why would he just change his mind suddenly? How can men lose their feelings so quickly?
Any insight would be great! Thanks
Depending on your age, talking about marriage, having a child, and the rest of your lives talk really freaks guys out.
When you go from one relationship, being hurt, then into another relationship and rushing into things that fast, mixed emotions can set in.
So here’s what probably happened (a man’s perspective):
Your boyfriend has commitment issues. He’s probably scared of being with one woman for the rest of his life without having really lived it up.
This doesn’t necessarily mean being with more women, it simply means reaching his own goals.
Usually there’s a deeper meaning than “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
From what you said, and to keep things simple, you probably just came on too strong with the marriage stuff, having a child, spending the rest of your life together talk.
There’s always positives to take from any break up. Now you know what you want for your own future and you can only become a better person from it.
All the best!
This is also what happened to me. Almost word for word. Here’s the problem…..I’m still mad about him. It’s been about 6 weeks & I’ve talked to other men because I miss talking to him…So I agreed with him that we could try to be friends.
I want to approach the subject of possibly going back to him.. I can’t get him off my mind, but I’m afraid he’s not going to want to date or be together now. He does want to focus on getting ahead, has financial issues due to child support & an ex who ran up hits credit cards..
How long do you wait for someone? We never fought, he just got scared.
I smell a liar. If there are “financial issues” due to ANYTHING, part of his life is unmanageable. Red flag!! Let him be on your mind, they are just thoughts, you don’t have to act on them. Don’t let “Tequila”, make you call text, or do a drive by. Keep it private, your own insanity… When you get it together, you will be stronger, and less willing to settle for the bull. This process may take 2 years or more. I personally think he is a user.
This is also what happened to me. Almost word for word. Here’s the problem…..I’m still mad about him. It’s been about 6 weeks & I’ve talked to other men because I miss talking to him…So I agreed with him that we could try to be friends.
I want to approach the subject of possibly going back to him.. I can’t get him off my mind, but I’m afraid he’s not going to want to date or be together now. He does want to focus on getting ahead, has financial issues due to child support & an ex who ran up hits credit cards..
How long do you wait for someone? We never fought, he just got scared.
I have been divorce for two years now, i didn’t want it i tryed everything to stop it but he would not.
He asked me if we could just date, and he would give me time to decide.
But then he change it.
He said he will always love me
Know matter what Happens.
And know one will ever take that from him .
But he will see what happens down the road.
If we can get together again.
What am I todo i am confused
I love him and want him back.
Hi Robin, A relationship needs to be two committed partners. If he is not interested if will never work..
Find someone with whom you can share you life, and they can share theirs.
I think that was something different and it had nothing to do with rushing things, that just sounds like a stereotype. Smf4123 said his boyfriend broke up with her and then, started to talk with his ex again, seems that was the reason, considering his ex suddenly disappeared from his life, he probably found her and then, wanted to be with her again, because he still had feelings towards her, if he would break up with her, he probably wouldn’t have left Smf4123. Yes, men can lose their feelings as fast as doing a snap, the reason can be related to the aspirations and wishes of every man. Maybe he wanted to start a family with you, but then his ex appeared in the picture and that changed all his plans.
I remember this girl I had, we had previously broke up, because I didn’t have a good relationship with her best [female] friend, her friend has no other friends, thus, it was annoying for her when I want to spend time with my ex. During the time we broke up, I started to like another girl and I was [really interested] in her, then, one of those days, I was talking with my ex, we had a nice conversation like we were just friends, through that, I mentioned that I liked this other girl. Near the end of that conversation we both wanted to be back together.
I always treated her well, first was the problem with her friend, now, she was jealous about the girl I said I liked, even if I never mentioned the subject again or talked to that girl, she brought that over and over again. I can understand she felt that other girl was a menace for her, but one of those days, she translated that jealousy into mistreating me, she was in bad mood when I was next to her. She later approached to me and gave me a smashed, crumpled paper with a note, which it said, she wanted to talk and I should call her in the afternoon, that was enough for me, I went immediately to talk to her and I told her, “You know what? I’m tired, we broke up”, then I left.
Previously, that same day, one guy who knew about that other girl, offered me his help, I told him that no, I didn’t want, that I was fine. The second after I broke up with my girlfriend I didn’t have any feeling about her. I remembered the offer and I told him that I accept his help. Later she saw me, at the distance, talking with the other girl, then she looked down.
Months passed, I had another girlfriend and my ex was still interested in me, so, she was trying to cause a break up by intimidating my girlfriend. She contributed to that, it was a relationship which was going to end sooner or later, though. Weeks later, my ex sent me a letter, telling me about all her feelings and how much she missed me.
We later agreed to talk, I told her I had no plans to return with her, then she told me she was surprised about that day, that after breaking up I went to talk to this other girl, that how could I forget about us so easily? Then I told her, she knew how she behaved and treated me all that time and then, she realized everything and told me, “I know”. We finally ended up in good terms and as any couple which broke up, we didn’t have so much contact, but we didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward when we were close to each other.
He still in love with his ex that’s why, & she lefted him, so i bet he was hurt. & He tried maybe getting into a new relationship would help, but then his ex hit him up and he want’s her back.
It doesn’t matter if it’s an ex or somebody new. The harsh reality is he doesnt want a relationship with you. Also no one deserves to be dumped out of the blue. You are dealing with someone with very poor communication and relationship skills. Mature people have a certain understanding as to why the relationship didn’t work out and have spent a certain amount of time trying to improve things. Please cut your losses and move on. People like this repeat these behaviors over and over devastating anyone who choses to care for them.
My boyfriend and I were dating for about 22 months. He texted me saying he wanted to break up because he didnt like me being friends with a guy. Ive been friends with this guy for way longer than my boyfriend and i have been talking. I didnt agree with him, so the relationship ended in an argument. After not talking for a couple of weeks, he texted me saying how he missed me and regretted everything and just wanted me back. I told him I’d be friends with him and maybe go out with him again. Later in the conversation, I started asking him questions. Turns out he broke up with me for someone else. It’s been two months since the break up, and he’s still asking to go back out. I havent completely firgiven him. Should I? How do I know if he really means what he says?
Taking someone back after they broke up with you for someone else is like reloading the gun and giving it back to him to shoot you in the back once more.
He probably is deeply sorry, but it doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t do it to you again. I mean what makes you think he won’t find a new “flavor of the week” and dump you again?
Plain and simple, this life is too short to be wasting your time on second chances. Consider it a lesson learned and take the positives from the break up. Move on. You’ve got a lot of life to live.
I just experiensed this kind of lesson ..Yes ..just gave him gun and he shot me again!!!!!!!!! ….NEVER EVER TAKE YOUR EX BACK WHEN HE LEFT YOU ONES FOR SOMEONE ELSE ……its just question of time when he will start to look and text other girls …….Remember guys are weaker then women ….and they get scared …they dont like to be alone …just a grown up man- wise man can life with him selfs ….To everyone who was left behind just because your ex thought he -she found someone better ….please have a faith…be strong and keep walking …there isnt anything behind you …just past …they hurt you ones and they will hurt you again and again ……good luck …:-)))
Do mot go back
Can someone help me out? Im an emotional wreck….so i met a great guy or so i thought anyways now im having second guesses. I met him through ny sister which has an awesome boyfriend so o felt maybe his brother would be alot like him. Well when we got together we hit it off great, started developing feelings for one another. He was great looking, affectionate, caring, great in bed and supportive. After a while we started talking about marriage. Even though he didnt have a job, apt n all that stuff i still supported him financially and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Not long after i became pregnant and was trying to get my life nack together like get an apartment and stuff. He told me that he loved me more than his family and wanted to have a family with me and be a great dad. Well once i fell pregnant, my emotions got the best of me and he said that i became a bitch. I bought a car n got it in his name and he ran off with it which he promised never to do. Then after not even a week he tells me that he met someone else with a car, an apartment and who is super nice to him. He blames the relationship not working out on me and says that i should had been had an apartment, car and treated him better when i always paid for everything. He said that he is not gonnna take me back and risk losing a car and place to live. What should i do?
He sounds like a huge loser and user. Girl don’t look back on that one. What a jerk. Take care of that baby and focus on the two of you. Not him. He is NOT a real man.
Omg I have just had the same thing happen to me. I had the apartment gave him use of my car and supported him for him to drop me beginning of March to tell me he had met someone else and wanted to try to make a go of it after we have been rolling together for nearly two years. He also had a drug problem so out of blue dropped me like s knife. He was a compulsive liar and has the gift of the gab relled me in and love bombed me. Easy going guy but a sycopath.
Lindsay sounds like my ex lol was he from Bristol by any chance lol
He is taking you for a ride.. He is taking advantage of you. He wants you to provide for him. There is many things I can say and one of them is he is not a real man. You to come to terms what is love for yourself and love for others It has nothing to do w materialistic things.
I would clearly focus on yourself and child.
Get yourself a college degree, follow your dreams,and make a real list of what a relationship of what you want to see. Take your time on this.
The simple standards are the best..
He needs to provide you w a home, career, college ba or master degree, car and insurance.
Good work enthic and morals and values.
Yes they are high but the truth is that was goals back when our grandparents or parents were looking for someone to marry.
They need to be reminded again.
Good luck You got a lot of homework to do.
You are not to be supporting unemployed men. This man is not your husband. Why have you put a car in his name? You are very confused about what a relationship is. Someone who is chosing women based on an apartment and car is a user. A man’s duty is to help provide, support and care for you. Where did you get the idea to be supporting men?
They guy you were friends with for a long time–the one your ex accused you of having an affair with–is he gay or does he have a girl friend? If he’s available and has been a good friend all this time, I would consider promoting him from the friend zone. He might secretly have a thing for you. Maybe you aren’t attracted to him. But if he has been in your corner maybe he will start to look attractive in-time. I’m 41 years old. I know of what I speak.
If he did it the first time he will do it again..he wasn’t a man enough to give you the real reason he was leaving you in the first place so never trust a wishy washy man like that.. let him go honey! Just remember he could leave you for another woman..
Hey there,
Can someone please help me with this one. I have been seeing this guy for 8 months now. The first 5 months of our relationship were amazing. I had never felt so close to a guy and generally just at peace with him. It was perfect. We spoke on the phone all day long and we weren’t apart for more than a day at a time. Within those 5 months he had trust issues with me. I lied on my whereabouts once but he forgave me. He did tell me during the argument that he can’t ever take me seriously. Well, things got back to normal, or so I thought. The communication was still there; the passion still there. Until the 5th month when I had to move away for 4 months for school. He changed. The calls became less (I was hearing from him one time a day as opposed to the usual 10 times) and I just generally felt a distance between us almost immediately. He never said Happy Valentine’s Day to me even after I reminded him the day before to do so.
Well, things went down hill after that. I had been trying to patch things up with him even though he claimed everything between us was fine. So this last 8th month was the worst. A few weeks before the break up (and we were back in the same town) I kept bugging him about communication. I mean there was a time he went 5 days without speaking to me and I just felt it wasn’t normal. He swore he wasn’t seeing anyone else and would just blame it on being busy with work. I tried to break off the relationship every other week but I’d quickly apologise for it because eventually, I wouldn’t see a lack of communication as a big enough reason to break up. We were still seeing each other once a week or once every other week.
Anyway, so I eventually had enough when he went for a party without me. My problem with that was that I was invited by a mutual friend of ours 2 weeks before the party but I said I’d prefer if my boyfriend told me himself as I don’t know the guy throwing the party. My boyfriend never did and I got mad and broke it off. He got mad, said a few things then said goodbye over txt msg (because I typed my long break up msg over text). I don’t know if I miss him because I was complaining to him more often than not about our communication and he kept reassuring me that everything was fine and he wanted to be with me. But I always felt something was wrong. Anyway I want to know if he will be back.
He’ll definitely cum bec trust me,just pretend you’ve moved on with your life and hey you also ignore him for as long as you can###experienced
Did he ever come back?
I need a man’s perspective.
Me and the mechanic were together for just over 7 months. He’s got along great with my kids, he’s slowly started stepping into a role model for them (biological father is absent). I met his friends within a week of our first date, I’ve since become friends with them as well, I know he loves me and my kids. His mom loves me and my boys (I still see her) , so much so that even though me and the mechanic split, she has since made a play area for my kids in her home and they now have toys there (she doesn’t have grandkids so I see this as a big deal). Since we broke up about 2 months ago we still saw each other regularly, he’s initiated, we talk on the phone, I’ve met more of his friends, he’s took me and my kids bowling as a treat for their good behavior. We still sleep together. Literally and sexually (he and I have both admitted to having the best physical experiences with the other) . He’s known that I still wanted a relationship with him (I screwed up and crossed a trust boundary by going into his phone to reread something which lead to our demise) and I know it will take time to gain that trust again. He’s has low testosterone, and when he’s uses his supplements regularly his drive goes through the roof, the past 2 weeks or so I’ve felt (emotionally) like that’s all her wanted me for, even though I knew (logically) that it wasn’t true. Egh feelings. I brought it up to him here got really upset and left. We didn’t talk the next day (I was at his moms) our next conversation that night was awkward. I asked if he’d meet me for lunch as an olive branch of sorts, he called and I basically said is this where you want us to be (not talking after he stormed out) ? Cause if it is then I’ll leave you alone. He said that I’m a good woman, he doesn’t have a single bad thing to say about me, but he can’t make me happy it’s either too much or not enough, so he’s done trying. We hung up shortly. Within 10 minutes he text to see if I wanted to go driving around with him (one of our typical activities if I don’t have my kids with me). He bought a book I wanted to read to my kids that we found during our travel. He made a detour on our way back to try to find the grounds to a castle we saw, which made me a little late picking my kids up. So……. My question is. He is the definition of man. He’s not overly emotional, he doesn’t express his feeling well, he’s not into huge PDA, he has physically demanding work, he loves old trucks and cars, he’s a provider, needs his space, never let’s me pay for so much as a stick of gum. He is a man through and through. How will I tell in the coming weeks if he is just wanting to stay friends (we get along extremely well in person and intellectually) or if he still carries a torch and I still have his heart.
He definitely likes you a lot. He sounds thoughtful and kind. You sound afraid and distrustful.. Which is scary for guys. They hate drama and insecurities.. Just relax and enjoy. Trust..until given reason to feel differently…
After being in relationship with husband for nine years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don’t believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I saw some good talk about this spell caster called Dr kala and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: Kalalovespell@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.I CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: Kalalovespell@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
Hello.
How long does it take for this guy to reply?
This is stupid. You are selfish! You truly dont love him if you need a spell caster to get him back. I dont think he got spelled and decided to breakup i think he broke up with you because of your selfishness and self-centered. And what made him come back was not because of the spell that had been casted but he got spelled or maybe even hypnotized. Do you really wanna be with someone that you literally know hes not into you anymore and the feelings are just fake? This is manipulative and should be illegal. Get a life and move on!
Hi there
I would really appreciate if someone could help me out
I was with this guy for almost 2 years and a half and he ended over text, so ridiculous I was heart broken by what happened and still am to this day. It’s been a year since the break up but within this whole year I saw him a lot since we have so many mutual friends which makes things much harder, but everywhere I see him all he does is sit there and stare at me, and recently he’s been doing it so much more and when I look into his eyes I can tell that he’s not over it and I feel like he wants to talk to me. I don’t know what to do I just need some advice.
How old are you and your boyfriend? Why do you think he stares at you and says nothing? Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? Is he looking around for other girls and just keeping you open as an option?
I would suggest that if you have spoken to this man and expressed to him how you feel and all he does after all this time is sit and stare that he is not prepared to do anything other than that. If he will not speak to you, just keep it moving. I know this is painful, but I found myself in a similar situation. I was very attached to the man and tried to figure out what was going on inside his head. Eventually I figured out that I was wasting my time. He was unresponsive for a reason I could not understand at all.
Have you ever heard the expression “what is the sound of one hand clapping”? If he is not coming forward the way he used to, there is no “clapping”. You are going to break your arm trying to make the sound by yourself. Don’t do it. I am sure you are a lovely woman and if the guy cannot step up to the plate at this time it is really best to walk away. Who knows what he is thinking over. Believe me I know it is easier said than done. But down the road when you walk around looking at other people and other people are looking at you and smiling at you, you will know that his smile, though special, is not the only one out there, and your smile is a gift to others too. I like to think of my ex as a “visitor”. Someone who came into my life, we shared joy, and then he left. Really easier to move on that way, especially if I am the only one “clapping”. Good luck.
I was with him on and off for 3 years. At first we didn’t want anyone to know, because of his family. But we had an amazing relationship. He was my best friend, we could talk about anything or have fun doing whatever. He was the first to express his love, and I felt the same way. After 2 years we talked about spending our lives together, and then he proposed. The relationship got rocky because of his family, and he became overly stressed. He almost died 2 times within a week, and not long after that we found out I was pregnant. He left me. We tried to talk for about 3 weeks but we haven’t talked in over 2 months. He told me he absolutely does not want the baby and never wants to see me again. I know he didn’t leave for anyone else, as he is beyond anti-social and never goes anywhere. I’m not perfect, I can be a bitch sometimes, but he’s always been there for me. Like I said, we were best friends but now he’s gone and it hurts more than words can say. We haven’t had any contact at all. No calls or texts, not even Facebook or email. He blocked my Facebook, so he has the option for contact. He knows where I live, he has my phone number. I won’t bother him, he hates being pushed into a corner so to say. But I have convinced myself that he won’t contact me in any way. I still wish he would, but he’s as stubborn as I am. Any advice or input? I just feel lost I guess.
There’s this guy I hadn’t met before but spoke to almost everyday on phone. The first day I met him, we had sex, and one more after. After being intimate with him, he hardly answered my texts or calls, so I figured I wasnt needed so I kinda forgot about him. But he called and told me how sorry he was for doing that. He went to a different state to study, and stopped getting in touch like we use to. But I figured hes is just a jerk so again, I kinda stopped thinking of him until he called to apologize and promised it wouldn’t happen again. I don’t call or send texts, he does all that and I ignore him but he keeps trying. I really need to know what his deal with me is? Because I sexed with him the first time we met, he run and apologized. I want to know why hes acting the way he is. Does he love me? Should I take him seriously?
Let him take you out to dinner, buy you some nice gifts, take you for a day trip to the park or a special lake or a resort. Do not go to his home. Do not invite him to your home. Just go out and have fun with him. Do this at LEAST for a period of one month. If he likes you, he will want to spend time with you. And you will find out if you like to spend time with you. Does he have a job? Is he involved with another woman? Don’t have sex with him until you find out if the both of you enjoy spending time together and he makes you happy. What do you want? Just sex or someone to do things with? YOU create the program. Good luck.
I didn’t like your advice
Spot on
you are right, this is the best test to know if he is really into you. Any guy would just get the easy sex, but a man who likes hanging out with you is worth it
I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR OLOKUM, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM
My boyfriend and I had been dating for 24 months when he broke up with me. He broke up with me because he said he wasn’t happy anymore and wanted space. I’m really broken and I miss him terribly. I really want him back! What do I do? He still has all our pictures on facebook and Instagram and it says we’re still in a relationship on facebook and it’s been almost 3 weeks. He’s been having fun hanging out with his guys and talking to girls. Am I losing him? I just don’t know what to do. It’s our first break up and I just want him back.
Sandra,
I feel bad for so many people on here who haven’t gotten replies/answers. It’s been a while and I don’t know if you guys got back together but I’ve done a lot of research on break ups and relationships. Bottom line, it’s a good sign that he still has your pictures on his FB page. He is still hanging on to you for sure. Now you must do what you do not want to do…leave him ALONE, let him figure things out in his head.
The rule is, when a guy says “I need space” or breaks up with you, you MUST GIVE HIM SPACE. Why? Because if you keep bugging him and going toward him he will get more turned off. Not to be mean but he is already either frustrated with you, burnt out on you, feeling crowded or a little tired of you and has lost some interest. That’s okay tho! Just tell him you understand that he needs space and tell him he can have all the time he needs. After a few days or maybe a week, he will miss the SILENCE from you and will miss you. If it’s a break up it could take a month-2 months. THAT is exactly what you must do when a guy needs space. No texting, no calling, no showing up where you know he’ll be. Is it easy? NOOOooo. BUT if you don’t give him space or leave him ALONE when he breaks up with you (make him come to you) he will pull farther away from you and you could lose him forever. Post and let us know what happened. Much happiness to you.
Jessica,
Your advice was the best I have gotten on here; because it actually worked! Thank you!!
Awesome! I’m in the same boat. I’ve finally backed off. I’m waiting. He didn’t want to pursue relationship after it started to feel serious because he “wasn’t ready.”
A mo later, the most miserable of my life, He came by to help with a project, but he sat at my table & talked for 2 hrs. He told me about his recent trip, how he tried to date an ex school mate- that it didn’t work. What got to me was the sparkle in his eye. When I showed him my project, he slightly touched , brushed up against me “accidentally”, several times. He’s coming back in 2 days to start helping me with work on my electric problem, but I agreed to pay him for his time.
What do you think? We’ve only checked each other’s Facebook status, comments. Both of us have been posting “break up/sad songs” & although I try to make my page look normal, smiling pics, losing weight, recipes- family status, he can prob tell that I’m still mourning our relationship.
Are any of these signs he may come back??
Look I’m a guy and I’ve done my rounds of dating ..at 45…yes give him some space but your advice on no contact is the shittiest advice you girls give….all it does is make us think your not interested anymore..which makes us move further away …women today have forgotten the 3 fundamental to keeping a man happy and interested.No matter how much of a shity girlfriend you might be…keep a man well sexed well feed and generally look after him with respect…and you will never lose him…and in return you will be given everything in return because he has no reason to look elsewhere to all the girls out there if your not doing those 3 things then good luck finding someone who will put up with you…ok give him space but bagger him. But once ever 4-5 days let him know your there when he’s ready and when you do see him follow the 3 rules he will be back in no time . Oh and no more shity mind games
Your statement about keeping a man well sexed, we’ll fed and well cared for is no guarantee. I did all those things for my ex husband and he still cheated, several times! If a man doesn’t pursue you after a break up or makes no contact then you are not a priority. Ladies, don’t waste your time on the past. You can drive into a bright future by constantly looking in the rear view mirror.
I agree with you, I spoiled the guy I loved, gave him the best sex and was always there for him when he had nothing good in his life and he treated me like a nobody.
Idk. John will those things work if he already broke it off and has been ignoring you? I havent contacted my ex in ten days
That’s absolutely not true. I am a young, attractive, smart, faithful woman with a high drive for sex with my man, I was also taking care of him and the house etc, my problem is I am strong opinionated and if I believe you are wrong I can’t say you are right. So my biggest flaw is that I won’t brush much a man’s ego if he is in the wrong. However my ex dumped me despite the good things I was providing to him and to the ex relationship, because he prefers to put his parents ALWAYS before his welfare, parents who live more than a pleasant life, don’t get me wrong, it’s not the situation where they actually would be in need for help cause that would be understandable. What would you call a guy who dumpes his good looking, caring, loving fiancée for the sake of his already well doing parents? It sounds hilarious and stupid in the same time, doesn’t it ? At least it sounds now after some good months after the break up.
I believe he is now in a rebound relationship or maybe not, I don’t know what feelings there are from his side for his new girlfriend, what I find it strange is that he dumped me and he does not want to be in contact with me anymore, after previously he was saying he still loves me, misses me etc. After that he went completely cold turkey. And I did not beg him to come back to me or being a desperate annoying dumpee. Anyway girls, if you are being dumped you better forget the guy, it’s his loss and make sure to find a nice guy and let time tell your ex he was wrong. By then it won’t even matter anymore. Good luck to all heart broken ones, it’s extremely hard but we can make it and move on from those who have done us wrong.
That’s a shitty advice John. Girls, never do what he says here. Your ex only will feel proud and relaxed that you can’t get over him and that he will always have you back whenever he wants, whenever his new relationships will not work. You will be an option only and will not be worth any effort. Moreover when a guy wants to leave and you will still pursue him every 5 days, he will think you are obssesive and he will want to separate from you even more.
Nice, John. The girl will jump around a jerk who doesn’t know what he wants; be extra nice, give him sex and feed him well – but know what? It guarantees nothing. Guy will get bored because he has everything easily, and leave. Men are strange creatures who only appreciate something that came with an effort.
I am talking from my own experience.
Elaine I agree with you. Keeping a man well sexed and the other two things does not work. I know I am a good woman and I take very good care of the men I have been with doing all three things and then some. They get cocky, arrogant and mess up. You care for a man by not caring for him at all. What Jessica said works. Please do not listen to John. It hurts ladies, but if a man is not treating you the way you are supposed to be treated, then you need to let it go. When you stop fussing and caring, he gets scared and wonders what just happened.
You do more harm ignoring him. When he see’s you will no longer coddle him, he will either straighten up or move on. Either way, its a win/win situation. I’ve been there, done it, and am living it. I have been done with men for years and I can’t believe they keep trying to come back to me. I would have thought by now they have moved on and either got married or got involved on other relationships. They miss how they were treated when I was with them. I made them feel good, they way a man should feel. This is not to say I never made any mistakes in the relationship, but never a mistake that would make a man want to walk away from the relationship. It’s always something stupid, like getting caught cheating. They find out the grass is not greener and then start trying to run back. Well, I want nothing of it. Once a man betrays me for another woman, it’s over. That’s the deal breaker. I’d rather be alone and lonely than to have some man wiping his ass on me. I’m sick of it. Someone needs to ask John, what about the three things a woman need? Sick and tired of focusing on men’s needs.
You are right Magda, I commented before that John’s advise is for the birds. Ladies please to believe the hype!
This is so true. I have two guys at work, one I like, the other I don’t (see him as a friend). The friend one, puts so much effort in messaging & emailing me thru-out the day, the other one, who’s flirted w/ me, touched me on arm, & later hugged, kissed me, I’ve expressed I like him and returned & enjoyed our physical contact. We grew close, but now that I’ve transferred to another location – he has dropped me. No contact at all, while the friend one (who I don’t want) still stays in contact. So yes, if you give a man any attention, affection – he does not appreciate it if it comes easy (there’s been no sex). But the one who puts the effort, I guess is hoping one day to have something w/ me. It be a great relationship I suppose, but my feelings are still with the other guy. Too bad. I guess in the future I’ll have to treat any guy I like shitty & pretend I’m not interested.
Sorry that is crap..i gave my man all those things and he left due to mental health issues…it may not be the girl it may be just that the man can’t even take care of himself let alone a relationship. I supported…loved…actually gave him my best…but at the end of the day if someone is unhealthy they can’t give back. I took on that blame for too long…please don’t put that on women who did give their best in every department…it’s not ALL one person’s responsibility. Each person has to take care of themselves first…in order to give back. Its not always about cheating…lying etc…some people are just scared…have baggage to go through….or plain and simple have to love themselves first. That’s truly insulting advice.
Hi jessica! Thank you for your advice 🙂
hey, for the “checking up” my ex txt me saying “hey” but thats about it but it was till like few days till he didnt txt me when i broke up with him. so when he txted me right after few days later, he misses me? btw, why would a guy ask a girl out but never hang with her? like is it cause hes that nervous or too shy to like hang with her so he make up little lies that he cant make it? is it cause hes too afraid of girls that in his mind if he come, she wont be there, so he avoid that happening by him not hanging with his girl? is it cause he dont kno how to treat a girl right? we are both young, yes, im 16 turning 17 soon and hes i think 16 if not already 17 but ik hes older than me by few months i think. anyways, why he treat me like im a bad person or something like i will hurt him? i wont hurt him and he knows that too.. plz help me anyone..? idk what to do no more and i do like him but sometimes i get a feeling that he doesnt like me and that everything is all a scam/using me that “oh yeah he have a gf” but never hang around with her.?! o.O
When my ex boyfriend and I broke up he turned off my phone and all contact was severed. After 4 months he has turned my phone back on. I contacted him to tell him the phone was on. He said he know it was. I don’t understand what he’s doing. I’m thankful for it but I’m a little confused. He’s the one that wanted to brake up. I know I still love him, but I don’t want to push him away. Dont know what I’m to do.
some insight would be GREAT
I broke up with my boyfriend after being together for 6 months. We ended because he wasn’t making me a priority. I didn’t want to be the center of his universe by any means but he was very unreliable, wouldn’t show up when he was supposed to and would always rather be out with his friends. I know he doesn’t want a relationship right now, that’s why he was acting like that. We haven’t talked since I broke up with him. We’ve seen each other in passing and said hi but that is it. Will he come back around when the timing is right for him? Should I just give up all hope?
Why wouldn’t you want to be a priority, you have to feel worthy for that position and settle for no less.
You set the standards in which others treat you. He might come back, but if not find a man who will prioritise you
Excellent analogy.
Hi,
I hope you can help me. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he broke up with me a few days ago. I knew in my mind the NC was the best way to go, we have broken up before and I did my best to move on.. NC, rebounded yada yada. Eventually, he wanted me back. This time, stupidly, I gave in to my inner turmoil of emotions and emptiness and contacted him. This just ended up making me feel worse, as he said he feels nothing for anything (he has had depression for some time), he needs space and time to build himself back up from this, and he wants to experience life without a partner and be alone (we are both quite young) and that he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t build himself back up whilst he was with me. He said that his doubts had been going on for months, that he just didn’t feel the same. I didn’t see any of this though, I only noticed him being distant a couple of weeks ago. I thought we were good. Now all this. We lived together, so he moved out when we broke up. I’m devastated, as you can imagine, and that’s why I’m here. I want him back. I know that NC is still the best way to go from here on out (even though I really just want to apologise for being such an emotional wreck and calling him in the first place). Problem is, I have no clue if he will ever want me back or if he’ll just move on. We don’t see each other, I have no idea what he’s doing with himself (if he’s rebounded, or wanting to) and I can’t eke tabs as he blocked me on Facebook (probably shouldn’t be obsessing anyway, right?) so, I don’t know how to tell if he wants me back. He left some of his things here so if he contacts me during NC to get it back should I still ignore him? Or should I let him get his things and have to deal with seeing him/talking to him again and face the possibility I may go back to square one? He’s as stubborn as the next man, when he makes a decision he generally tends to stick to it.. Also with the depression, I don’t know if he even feels a thing. HELP. Please. Do I have any chance or should I just try and move on??
Hi I’m curious to know what happened with you guys? I’m in that same situation now and it sucks!
Honey if he suffers from depression its hard to tell what he will do. Is he on medication for it? NC does not guarantee getting him back. It guarantees purging yourself of him and only if hes the right one will he return. I’m thinking he may need more than 30 days of NC. Anyway listen to uplifting music and work on making yourself happy. I assure u after 30 days if NC you probably won’t even want him back. I know it happened to me ;).
I can’t believe some women today…It’s all me me me…then when the guys had enough of the girls mind games and leave I want him back….. if you really want him back it’s sooooo easy … But with your attitude I don’t know if I should tell you..
How do you get someone back if it’s really easy then? I’m actually curious and would like to know, thank you
Men play mind games all the time, I don’t
I have been with this guy for 16years…he lost his job and all he had and I was there for him through thick and thin….he had to move back to another state where he is originally from for a better job…so we communicated long distance daily…..he visited every Christmas and finally got an apartment…. I went to visit this summer and he told me that he is dating someone else…I am totally crushed…I am 56 and he is 58 and I don’t understand…I am lost..he is thinking about the relationships but I don’t know…I love him as I spent my she life with him..help I cry every day and text, write letters and call….I want him back… What should I do?.
Hi John…can you tell me then instead…because I would love to know the easy way to get my man back x
So I need advice guys. I’ve been in a relationship with. Guy for 8 years. We been talking about marriage and he constantly told me he loved me. I always hD doubts that is he cheating on me. Just cuz I’m a girl and I always felt insecure. But he constantly told me were older and the mistakes he made when he was 16 which was flirting on Facebook is in the past. Something big happened on his life. His dad from his home country kind of told him that he’s doing nothing in life such as school and his life is wasting away. He met me and told me all this and was thinking of moving to his country to go back to school. I cried and cried. He felt horrible and said he loves me and he’s Gona talk to his dad and figure things out and he needs to just figure it out. I wouldn’t give it a rest kept bothering him even when I reached home. Feeling so insecure. I cried and threatened to kill myself. He constantly told me he just needs to space to think and figure things out and that if I stick with him that’s all he needs. But of course I couldn’t. Felt more insecure. I kept calling and he said he didn’t wana marry me. He didn’t feel the spark. I met him the next day. He said he didn’t love me. He didn’t feel anything and he needs to break up with me to find himself as a person. He said there’s a 80 percent chance he won’t come back after this break up. I asked did u ever love me. He said I guess. He said I was the best thing in his life but he can’t continue with me. And that he felt like this for a month. Even tho he was so serious about marriage and wanting to be with me for the rest of my life a week ago. And when I always had doubts he always said we are not young and that he I’m his everythibg and we will get married. And that he would talk to my brother about us. Regardless of when my bf was drunk or sober he constantly told me that. So what are the chances him coming back. I havnt talked to him for 6 days. Using the NC rule. Anyone that can give me insight on a guys point of view. I know all those things he said about loving me wasn’t a lie. Because him as a person would never say Nyting to me just to say it now always meant what he said. That’s why the day he broke up with me seem so serious. Do u guys think it’s from anger and frustration and once time passes he will realize that he truly loves me ?
Hi, 6 days is too soon, my bf broke up with me after 9 years after we told our families we want to commit to marriage.
I always had my insecurities because he didn’t show me the love he usto years ago. I made things worse by nagging and getting paronoid etc. Eventually he broke up with me and left. My family were devestated and I have been suffering depression since. I am currently in NC mode and have been over a month, yet there has been no progress.
My advice would be leave him and take each day as it comes, without realising everyday makes you a stronger person and if it’s meant to be he will come back to you, but if it isn’t then at least you have prepared yourself in time.
Men like to be in control at all times hence why he will only return out of choice not if he is being asked to. Good luck, and keep me posted x
Is he from India. I had friends who dated men from India and the guys left them ti go home to marry indian girls bc their family demanded it. So sorry for your pain. Please move forward. Do you really what a guy like that. He will continually hurt you.
a needy woman repels men, so you need to be happy and confident & have a life without him and keep dating other guys. If he truly misses you, he’ll be back, if not, it was not meant to be. Do not cling to him, it’s the worse thing you can do.
I’m losing it bad. My guy & I were together for 3 months but know from the first date we had an uncanny connection to each other. Even down to him returning from a show that was out of town & asked what I wanted to do. I said “all I can think about is sex & ice cream” he said “OMG, I just told my friend the exact same thing yesterday” (we never eat ice cream). He is a body builder & I work out every day so that was strange.
I have an ex husband that I had a restraining order against. Ok, we stood before the judge & I said I don’t want him to have it on his record, please make him leave me alone. Then we both ended up at the same place, he cussed me out (drunk), I called the police & they said to write the judge so I did. About 6 weeks go by & I realize I don’t have the title to my Harley. I contacted him & he was like the normal person I knew..not the crazy stalking, hacking, freak he had been. He has a gf now, thank God.
Well, because of the delay after the divorce, we didn’t get everything taken care of as far as small things…bike parts, title & he had to come over to help start my bike because I sold it.
During all of this I was not to contact my boyfriend for 2 weeks because of what body builders have to do to prepare for shows. It’s insane.
Well once the show was over he was at my house every day. We were going to dinner then dance & I mentioned my ex stopping by to give me medicine. My guy left..I ran to my phone, called & was like WTH?! He said to never call or talk to him again. Then called back 30 seconds later saying some crazy sh*t like if I try to pull anything I will have huge problems & regret ever meeting him.
We were so contacted before this. What the hell happened & do you think he’ll ever talk to me again (he had me blocked on fb before he could have been home). I’m beyond heartbroken. This happened last week. Can someone give me input? Without telling me to let it go because he is unlike any man I have ever met.
(I might add that he continuously says he doesn’t want a relationship because they are too hard & he doesn’t trust women but yet we were together all the time. I met his dad & brother. But something that struck me as odd about a month ago is when I sent him some pics of me laying out in the sun & he replied that I better not send those to anyone else. Then said “you’re mine :)” Now is a girl really supposed to “get” this??? HELP PLEASE – I want him, I pray for him. (bf age 31, me 34, ex 41)
My ex-boyfriend and I went out for about three months but for three years we were on and off and never really officially got back together and we would end up arguing. Thing is I never really let go of my feelings for him and I tried to move on. I would go on dates with other guys but somehow I always found myself going back to him whenever he reached out to me. I have never been the first one to contact him, it’s always him. Anyway recently he has started talking to me again after months of not talking at all and I don’t understand why he always tries to start something with me when he talks to a handful of other girls. I don’t know what’s going through his mind and I can’t ask him because he always gives me a vague answer.
I need a help.. i was in a relationship with a guy for just a month. In this time he loved me like anythng, he wanted to spend a lot of time with me, he did everythng wat he could, but after a week something happened by my mistake.. He started ignoring me.. I tried my best to get him back. i loved him like hell. Did every possible thing what i could do to get him back. But he end up by saying that he loves me but he dont want to get into a relationship. He just want me as a friend. But i love him and i cant be friends with him so i just left… I stil miss him n love him more than anything. Wil he ever get back to me? I have made so many efforts to get him back but he ends up by saying dat he dnt want relationship.. Will he ever realise that i loved him madly.
same thing happened with the guy I’ve been with the last 1.5 year. It’s not worth it. If he really wants to be with you, he’ll make it happen. If not, don’t waste your time with him and start meeting other guys who want to be in a relationship.
I have had this experience several times, They run and then out of the blue, reappear. I can not trust them so I don’t reciprocate-ever,
Right Diane, that is what I am saying. if you look at the situation once you get over the emotion, you find out that this person was not worth your time to begin with. When emotions are involved, it’s hard to see things clear. When you get hurt, do not re-act, but act. You will have to ride the storm, but once it’s over, the sun will come out. Trust me, I have been with men, and when they did things to hurt me and the relationship was over, I was very hurt because I know I was a good woman to them. When I got over the hurt, I wondered why I was in a relationship with that person to begin with. Things became so clear. Ladies, pay attention to red flags. When you see them, start running.
After being in relationship with him for 3 years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other problem.
Did you have to pay?
You do not have to pay for a reply to comments on this site. It is a self held forum where people share their experiences.
I do not have much good advice for you except to say that I also experienced a breakup of a 4 year relationship via email when my boyfriend was out of the country. He never spoke to me again after that. We had been very close and had even discussed marriage.
I f you had a LDR, did you Everest his family? Did you discuss marriage? Was there another woman on the picture?
From a long distance it is impossible to know what is really going on.
I am sorry this happened to you. It was a callous thing for him to do.
Maybe he has been thinking about splitting up before, and the death of his mother was a catalyst for him to take action.
My ex lived in town here near me. I loved him very much. He got a job out of town. A friend of his (who is not a nice person) told him some bad and false things about me after my ex left the country.
My ex wrote me a very nastily email and said he never wanted to speak to me as a result of this information.
I was come rely crushed and heartbroken.
In hindsight I see he was looming for a a way out before, and this was it for him. It was not honest and it was cruel. He would never reply to my many message or emails.
I suggest you start a new relationship with someone who is near you and who you can communicate with you. If you have had no contact with him and he blocked you in Facebook, maybe he does not want to see you anymore.
To me, he could be shaken up by his mom’s death and may come back later. But since you have no way of being in touch with him, you really do not know what have is doing. He may even have someone else.
The possibility does exist that he will contact you again in the future. But I would not hold my breath.
Try to recover from this and pick a new man who is nearby and accessible.
The mystery man is always exciting and fun. But if he dumps you by email and never speaks to you again, he does not sound like he is LTR material.
It took me a long time to realize what type of man my ex really was.
I was so happy with him, but he was not there for me in the end. And that was the end.
Try to find yourself a loving man who shows you everyday how much you mean to him. Not one who will dump you by email from far away. That is very cowardly. If he does come back he better have a ring and a very good explanation and an apology.
You sound like a nice woman.
Why should you suffer? Why should you have anything less than a man who can make up his mind to be with you and do it?
LDR often fall apart if they are not a marriage. He is likely reflecting on what he wants for his future. Did he ever propose marriage to you?
I would try to remember all the good times you had, but if that man is not by your side, has not taken your calls and so on, I would begin to reflect why it is that he would do such a thing.
You deserve much more than that. Maybe he just couldn’t do it. Don’t blame yourself or cheat yourself out of the company of a real steady man who will be there for you and not run away and block your messages. No one deserves this.
You sound like you are in pain and that is understandable. I hate to say this, but my ex has been gone for 3 years. I was so crushed I became depressed.
Now I realize I want the closeness that he decided he was not going to provide for me. I can wait forever. He is not coming back. He is not the right man for me. He abandoned me in a cowardly way. No woman deserves this. I hope this is helpful.
Good luck.
I meant did you ever meet hi family? Maybe the mom was the one who was encouraging him. Maybe anything. He is far away and will not communicate with you. It is sad when you are close to someone and expect the relationship to continue and grow. There is another man out there who wants to do this with you. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a man that cuts you out of his life just like that.
Like I said, if he comes back later, let him explain himself offer commitment.
In the meantime, I would not put my heart in the shelf. You will meet another man – one who is there for you. Not one who leaves without a trace. That is not the man for you. See how you are suffering now? Good men do not let their women suffer.
You’ll be okay and you’ll find a more suitable match. I do not suggest protracted LDR. This is not a good way to build a strong connection unless you are commuted and married. Even then, sometimes there is not enough connection and closeness to keep the couple together.
I hope this helps.
I need help please. My boyfriend of four years just broke up with me. We have known each other since 9 grades dated our 10 grade year I moved and my freshman yr in college we got back together. He cheated on me in college and I kissed a guy in college. So we both cheated which led to trust issues. We decided to work them out and move on. After college I moved in with his parents and we argued a lot which put the family in our relationship and that’s a no no. Once we moved out and got our own spot we still argued on and off sometimes more than usual over stupid stuff like cleaning, putting dirty cloths away etc. Dumb things. We knew it was stupid so we would always blow it over because our love for one another was stronger than the little incidents. He has moved out once before and moved back in with his parents and I think all the stuff we went through and his family being put in the middle of it made his mom not like me. Like when he was over the first time he moved out his mom asked why are you over her house. I understand its her son but she was in our business a lot and it was because he was a momma boy. Plus when your son hurts you are going to be on defense. But when he moved back in she said she wasn’t getting into our relationship again and she didn’t but this time we got into it over something stupid and he moved out I went over to talk to him and his mom said she needs to leave I did respectfully. I’ve been so emotional because I have been through so much with the guys and his is my best friend, boyfriend,we went through me being pregnant but losing the Baby, good times bad times everything you can name I have been through it with him. I know in the relationship I have lost myself and I know I need to find out who I am and make myself happy first. He told me that the day he was leaving and it hurt. I’ve talked to him 3 times since we broke up and I’m trying not to be emotional and needy and act desperate but its hard he was my other half and me being in this apartment makes me think of him. I lost my job and he said he will still help me pay the rent so I guess he still cares. But when we talked he tells me our chapter is over he is tired of being controlled and being disrespected and not having me listen to him. I don’t do these things on purpose and it only happens when we argue over stupid stuff. Well my question is with everything I just said is there a chance we will get back together he has told me over the phone I’m not getting myself together because I’m calling him I’m not giving him time to miss me. I’ll say once we work on ourselves do you think we can give it a fresh start he says sure maybe idk but then tell me don’t give myself false hope and he will probably need come back. And there is someone out there for me. And he wasn’t Happy. He said he is grieving just as well as I am and he thinks about it to. And he isn’t looking for a new relationship. Please what should I do please help is there a chance for us. He says he still has love for me and cares about me but he doesn’t want to be with me. He doesn’t know if we will ever be together again. Is he doing this to hurt me or is this forreal. P.s. sorry so long I have a lot on my mind as you can see
Hi omg your situation is almost word for word my situation! And I’m going through it now… Just curious are u guys back together?
My advice to any one who might be thinking of contacting a spell caster,is to contact Metodo i know he the only real spell caster i think still leaves his methods will speak and make you believe. I am not really that kind of person that disclose much about myself experience especially on the internet but today i am going to make an to exception I really never intended to say to anybody that i used a spell to get what i wanted in life not cos i am ashamed of it but cos some may never believe cos its seem like something that can never happen. All it take is to find the real and right spell caster. Am that kind of person that have always thought that marrying a rich man will set me free in financially as a matter of fact i have been married to to four different men all for money i guess after every divorce with every one of them i didn’t as much as i expected even when there was no prenuptial agreement signed. But When i met my firth to be husband,i never expected i will fall for him so much i mean he was so charming cute and for the first time he made me feel safe like he will always be here for me not matter what happens. For the first time i was in love. Maybe i don’t know what love is cos i never felt it for any one my ex husband the only detail i can give is that my heart literally beats fast when he was around me, anytime he ran his finger through my hair. I always knew my past will come to hurt me no matter what i do but i never gave it to much thought cos i never thought i will meet this kind of man. At the time i meant him ,it was not a while before the relationship became serious cos i bet he loved me also. We moved in together and our relationship just blosoomed. He was gentle with me always i mean my life was a fairy tale for a moment. But then again my past life that was to be left in the closet got out. I was so much in love to not tell him about my pasted life i just wanted to left him know like this was the person i use to be but cos of him i changed .He brought me to the light. I guess that was not the case he grew mad at me and thought i was going to do the same thing to him just like my exes. I don’t know if it was that in the last 4 years i have been married four time to four different men cos of their bank statement that made him mad of was that i didn’t tell him all this while. All the same after a while of not speaking with me he moved out. I thought he was going to call i just wanted to give him space i mean my friends suggested i did that but time few by with no call no text the only time he came back to our house was to pick his remaining things. The first man i have ever loved was walking out of my life just like a mist that comes and go i wanted him back to show him that he changed me to show him with him am a different person,He kept saying he would not want the same thing to happen to him just like my exes i believed he still loved he though he never said but that thought made me contact Metodo the spell caster for help. I saw positive comments about him and someone said she has actually seen, that is come in contact with him during the time he helped her. Was not really sure what to believe i just thought i was desperate i need help right away or i was going to lose my dream man for life. Like honestly i was not going to travel for over thirteen hours or so to look for metodo in were he leaves cos one i din’t know anybody there and two my run my private spa so i had little all not time and it will be an expensive thing to do. I could not also get the materials he needed to cast the spell so i had to ask him to get them for me so i can give him the money to pay for them. Within the first seven week he sent me a some candle with some hand written don’t really know what to call it but will say words to recite at night at the right hour. At that time within the seven days, Stephen started coming around all the time i mean i don’t think it was coincidental cos really it wasn’t. I believed what Metodo was doing was working. Just after those seven day i received a parcel with something he gave me instruction on how to use. This is no lie in anyway Stephen and i are back together now he is no slave to anything cos of the spell he is just the way he was before the spell only made him love me more and never talk or think about my past life. Not everybody will believe this more over its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. Living Metodo contact for those who believes me and needs help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com
Hey, Friends, it’s really sad and touching what we go though this days in our relationship. I have been in relationships affected by pains and depression for years, both sides (I was depressed, but thanks to God, am now a happy woman today with the help of someone). It’s sad to say, but I have lots of experiences on this subject. If you’re interested, I’d share them with you, so that you can forever be happy in your relationship and be happy with the person you love. You can write to my email address: keishapeeter@gmail.com , hope you’re holding up!
Keisha
I also have a relation for 2 years but he don’t trust me he said that I break his heart and know he broke up with me and ignoring me and said that never contact me again otherwise it’s really dangerous for u and I really want him back ..:/ cox I love him he also abuse with me and I want him back .in my life forever….:/ but how tell me ???
Well I am in need of some advice.
My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he needed space and time to himself to think. He said that he still loved me but didn’t know if he was still inlove or it was just comfort. We have been together for 1 year and about 6 months. We have been living together since the beginning. we are both 20. He still has all my pictures in is social media. Our relationship has always been a good one we fought but not about serious things. I am very much inlove with him and I just need some advice. Thank you so much
Plz help…I have been seeing a neighbor guy for about 3 months. I have met his parents and friends. We even went to Florida on vacation together. He is an alcoholic… which I am ok with because I feel I love him drunk or sober.(while drunk we are very close and talkive) But when he gets sober which is only about 2 out of 4 weeks at best…he eventually tells me he just wants to be friends…. but then after 2 or 3 days he calls or comes over just like nothing has happened. He has done this to me about 3 times now and I am at wits end. Maybe its the alcohol problem or being sober or maybe his true feelings??
(he does have an exwife that he still gives money to and talks to briefly daily). Or maybe its her?? I just don’t know and he doesn’t really give me any reason for this behavior… I know I should just leave him alone but he has now got close with my kids and Im not getting any younger and I really do like him…. Plz some advice… 🙁
I am not getting any younger either. I have no kids and my last boyfriend took a lot of drugs, which I did not know about when the relationship started. When I found out I was shocked. Some of his friends were really creepy.
It was a 4 year roller coaster ride with this man who left me in the end. The friends and the drugs seemed to be a big problem.
My advice to you is to step back from the situation and tell the guy how you feel. It is just like an alcoholic or drug user to bounce around like this emotionally, then everybody bounces with him. Probably the reason he split up with the wife. She can be friends from a distance.
One day my ex was hot, then he was cold. Not consistent in his words and actions.
No man is perfect, but my advice would be to tell him exactly how you feel and take a step back. One day he is in one mood, next day something else. It happened to me and it was so stressful. I still miss the guy, but
when I think about how much he took my affections for granted – I don’t miss that.
I would suggest to him that he visit a doctor. That might give him the wake up call he needs to see what he is doing to his body and maybe he will change his drinking habits. As long as he drinks, you can expect hot and cold from him.
I understand what you mean about getting older and being alone. It’s only been 3 months. Start to dig yourself out of this hole as soon as possible by letting him know how you feel and telling him it is stressing you out. Just think if 4 years go by and it’s the same story. Change the story. He needs to be fair to you. Let him know how you feel. If he cannot be fair, you will really get to your wits end. Good luck.
Gosh, I wish my ex would come back to me but I think I have little hope of that happening 🙁 What happens if you do something wrong – like look at their phone messages 🙁 – – I guess then you have to just move forward and realise that it’s over. I keep waiting and hoping that he will return – he said he might – but I think I just need to wake up and realise that I messed up and that he wont be back 🙁 It’s so painful and so incredibly difficult to move 🙁 We all make mistakes though 🙁
I need a guys point of view. Idk what to do I’m really tired of being lonely I know I’m only 20 and alot of people say I’m young I have all the time to find someone. Me and my ex were together for about a year and a half but we actually knew each other throughout our childhood because I use to be close friends with his sisters. The first few months was pure happyness until we started getting closer to each other than we started fighting because I was his first and he has never been with any girls except me but I had been with a few guys before him and he would always fight with me about my past and one day I got so tired of fighting I moved out and back home. I tried to fix things after and he was willing to fix things to but after a week and a half he started acting weird so me and my sister went to spy on him at his work and I seen him and another girl get into his car we sped over there and got out but he locked his doors and looked at me as if he didn’t know ne why would he do something like that? He would keep telling me lies saying he wants to take time with me and slowly work on our relationship but he was seeing this other girl that he worked with. It was 2 weeks after me and him literally broke up that he made it official with her but kept lieing to me saying he doesn’t have a girlfriend when he did. And he would keep telling me he wanted things fixed but kept coming around Because he wanted sex bUT I wouldn’t give it to him than when I finally confronted the girl I had seen with him at his work she ended up telling me they were together and he was playing me. Does that mean he didn’t love me ever? Will he ever come back?
They always come back trust me!! Ive got one at mo after me who broke my heart few years ago he kept tryimg every few months i did get back with him and i dumped him….hes still trying a year later….they only want what they cant have…when you have in your mind moved on….thats when they return look at prince william and his bride they split for months now a happy ending
Me and my boyfriend been together a year and a half. He broke up with me 6 days ago, as we have both started university courses and we are both stressed and felt a lot of pressure. He came to see me last Sunday and said that he loves me and doesn’t want to break up. But needs to do it for him and he become unhappy with all of the pressure and stress. The day before we broke up I asked him do you want to break up? as I knew he wasn’t happy and he said no I don’t! !! But the next day he changed his mind.
I have been very stressed with university moving in and my course is very intense. So I have been very stressed and needy as I spoke to him a lot about my problems. When we broke up he was hugging me so tight and stroking my hair and crying his eyes out saying he doesn’t want to break up but needs to for him. I asked is there any chance in the future and he said he doesn’t no and can’t promise me anything.
He said he loves me and will always love me but we have to try the break up. I am making changes on my life now such as seeing a therapist and spending more time with friends. I said we shouldn’t speak for a couple weeks and he agreed I then said we can talk after that and he said yes okay. Do you think there is any chance for us?
His problem is that he doesn’t tell me when something is bothering him and has left the issue we are in now to become worse and I think he has overwhelmed himself. We get on so well and have never broken up before talked about being together forever and the future. What do I do? I not spoke to him for a week and he not contacted me do you think he doesn’t want to contact me?
I have written a letter which I am going to send at the end of the week as we said to give it 2 weeks. I am sending it in the post as I don’t want to crowd him and want him to make up his own mind on what he thinks to my letter. It isn’t begging for him back just explaining that I understand why he has done it and that I am changing things already
Anyone give me any advice?
Hi, I really enjoyed the article. I am seeing very good advice. I don’t usually do this but I think I can give it a try and open up a little bit. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago because of fighting and focusing too much on each other. After a few weeks of the break-up he wrote me a message at 5 am after a party. Saying that he was sorry things didn’t work out as he would have wanted, that he loves me and that I will always be the girl on his mind and that he will always care about me. That he misses me a lot and that he just wanted to take this stuff that is killing him out of his chest and that this message was the last thing he would write to me… So I answered (with my tongue outside like a puppy) Hey, why should it be the last thing? Why all this suffering? Do you want to see me ? He replied and we saw each other that day. He is the kind of guy that says wathever comes to his mind without filter and when we were about to make love and were all cozy and mellow and intense he said this; all nervious: Hey, paula I hope that if you do this with another guy use a condom. It was so stupid that my mood was off, I cried we talked all night no sleep about everything. after few hours later we did it anyway. The thing is we continue going out without any commitment and it felt good somehow. We had the best weekend on the beach in a nice house; we surfed, we laugh and then few days later I went to his house; we were talking about stuff I was in his arms we were staring at each other and he asked if I flirted with guys and I said : yes, but nothing happened when you are hooked with someone you don’t go looking for others.. and he said yes but that needs to start changing. So that was it for me. I started putting my clothes on and he said heey come.. I didn’t…He went into the shower I left. He called me a bunch of times tried to explain but I didn’t listen. Then he wrote me on fb This; I didn’t mean that things need to change now or that I want to forget you now but little by little. It was the stupidest thing I ever heard. I know he is for sure a dummas. But I know how he is. He called again tried to fix things saying he didn’t want to forget me at all that he didn’t think before speaking but It was too much for me. I said good bye.
Now we haven’t spoke in a week.
I don’t know what to do.
Hi Paula –
Hope you are having a good weekend.
It sounds like you like this guy a lot and he seems to like you. But he keeps repeating the message that little by little he wants the relationship to be open to other people. What are your ages? Are you both very young? Have either of you or both of you had a lot of experience with other relationships?
If not, maybe he wants to make sure he has not made a mistake before he commits as he does not have that much experience. If you are focused in and he is not, that is what you need to clear up. Otherwise it will be the roller coaster you describe, which is not very pleasant. I would try to get clarity from him on this.
If he is grown with lots of experience and you are younger, maybe he feels like it is not a right match but he loves you anyway and finds it hard to break it off.
If you are both grown, try and talk it over. Let him know what you want and see if he is on the same page. Eight months is a lot of time. If he says he wants to “play the field”, don’t put yourself on the shelf waiting for him. He ought to be able to figure out after 8 months whether or not to be exclusive if he is a grown man.
I have had this type of “mixed message” relationship before. It drove me crazy! I always did my best to try and see what was really happening. If you really love the guy and he says “little by little” we we get further apart, ask him exactly what he means by that. If he just needs some space, that’s one thing. If he really intends to cut you lose, that’s another.
I would try my best to clarify things with him. And 8 months is not eternity. If he simply can’t get it together, imagine how it would be if you both kept this up for 2 more years.
Really, try to get clarity from him. It sounds like he is running hot and cold. That would drive me crazy. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let him make you go crazy. Is he seeing someone else? Why does he ask if you use a condom with other men. Ask him if he uses a condom with other women. See how he reacts to that. It may provide some answers. Look at his expression as well as what he says. If he is seeing someone else, then you will have more clarity on what you would like to do as well.
I wish you good luck. It is not a good feeling to spend a fun weekend with a guy you’ve been seeing for 8 months and then he doesn’t call all week long.
Maybe he feels he is off the hook because of what he has said so far.
Don’t torture yourself waiting to see what he will do next. Try and put the prices together and find out what his intentions are. If he’s only in halfway, I suggest you do not put all your eggs in that basket. It doesn’t mean you jump in bed with the next guy. Just keep an open mind about meeting someone else and don’t throw all your energy at the guy who can’t make up his mind.
A friend:)
Hi Friend :)!
Well, he is 24 and I am 27. There may have been a lil misunderstanding with time. We’ve been together for 1 year and a half and we broke up only 1 month ago. He spoke to me on facebook 3 days ago asking me clasic stuff like how you’ve been and telling me what he been up to… all good, I didn’t feel like complaining about what happened. I am not in the mood of figthing or being angry anymore because of his stupid choice of words. so i responded like nothing not super excited just like a friend. I even said to cut down the conversation short good luck on your work ppt before getting disconected. Then he sent me a kind of cool picture …I sent him a song I like (not the romantic type). And yesterday chatting on fb again … he said that he would really like to see me,.. that he wants to go to the beach and he asked me to go with him. (He knew I was going anyway because I posted the event where I was supposed to perform.) I told him he was crazy and laughed. And I said I will probably see you around and if that happens I will give you a bear hug.. wich he completely misunderstood and said awesome I will hug you and kiss you all the way, precious and 10 happy faces …so I didn’t responded to that. I heard he went to the concert pretty early but I was not there he left. The thing is that I posted really cool pictures of my 5 year old daughter (he is not the father) learning how to skate with a friend we have in common , who was actually my guitarman for that night. And he suddenly asked Are you dating him?….. answer me ??? I am shocked. I mean the messages are still there like “unread” I know they say that because I was glancing my messages window when he wrote, but I didn’t open it. I am starting to see him as a child and I am starting to get really dissapointed. I know he have had a bad experience with his previous relationship but come on what is he doing? I have asked him for clarity before in this month. He said That he didn’t want a serious relatioship at the moment he want to focus on his carrier but he doesnt want to stop seing me. nicee
Well, you got it Paula. He wants to see you, no strings attached. That’s the answer.
I can understand that a young man would not want to commit to a woman with a young child that is not his own.
He has told you what he wants Paula. It is very clear that he is jealous of other guys. Do you want to play a game? He has already let you know he wants to focus in his career. He has no kids, he is young. He is not ready for commitment to you and he has told you so.
You go to the show, then leave. Then you send him photos with you, your child and another man. What would you do if someone did that to you? Be real with the guy if you expect him to be real with you.
It sounds like you want him. He likes you too, but he is not ready for what you want. You say he has not given you clarity. It seems he is clear that he is not ready to commit. That’s an answer. If you need that answer, he’s given it to you.
If you want to hang in or try to twist his arm by sending photos of you with another guy, both of you are acting in a very immature fashion.
I have to say, it seems like neither of you are ready to launch the relationship to the next level. He is telling you. You are trying to sway him.
You can play that game if you like. It is a game, not what makes relationships really work. You asked for an answer. Respect that he gave you an answer. It seems he likes you very much but he is not ready to make it exclusive and permanent.
I suggest you respect the answer if you want peace. He has given you an answer that you don’t like, but it’s honest.
See him if you both like, but do not expect any change. I strongly suggest that you accept his best effort to explain his feelings. I would really not torture yourself over this. He is young and has no kids. He is trying to bow out. He is not ready for a commitment.
You are wondering what is going on. My opinion is that is what is happening. Hate to tell you Paula, but I think the guy is doing you a favor by not wasting any more of your time. Don’t waste your time or his with unreasonable ideas of what ought to happen. You have to accept it. Be happy that he has at least tried to express himself. It may not be as clear as you think it could be, but I believe it is a clear enough expression of where he is really at.
Respect yourself, respect what the two of you have had. Hold your head up. Sounds like he is not ready for a serious commitment with you. I am sure your child is lovely and lovable. A very young man has enough trouble committing to any woman. It is likely that he does not want to be involved with someone with a child. He may not have seen this at first. Perhaps he is discovering that now. He has answered your question.
And why be involved in such a confusing situation. Can you think of your child as well? Does she need this much drama? Why take pictures of you and the child and send them to him? Very poor form. Not good to use your child as a bargaining chip with a man who is not her father. Keep your child out if it.
I think there has been another misunderstanding the pics I posted, I didn-t send that to him. I posted them on fb. on my wall. There were not for him AT ALL and the dude is a friend of mine I know for years who I would never date. Yea he gave me an answer a month ago you are right. Thanks for the advice.
Hi Paula –
So he’s looking at your Facebook page. That’s not the same as seeing you in person and having a relationship with you. I think you got the picture. He likes you a lot, but he does not want an exclusive commitment. Do you want a FB relationships or a real one? I guess you want a real one, right?
Good luck to you. You are young and I am sure you will find what you are looking for.
Hey everyone. I haye see in everyone’s suffering in the world however it has been very educational. My man of 8years left me while i was at the store. He never came back and its bad to assume but im assuming he cheated that night because he stayed gone for 30 days now and has admitted now to having a gf. Its the crazies thing when i was just the female in his life and now when i try to talk it out for closure (which you never get) its like im now the other woman. After 30 days even after the first day i just new. Anyways he is living with her and ignores me now . Everything u can imagine we have done tpgether experienced together and all the ups and downs also. I dont know how a man or even a female falls out of love enough to think living with a stranger is better or greener grass or less snow lol theres snow outside. Its a week before christmas trying to get through this but im not in the mood plus im pregnant and hes like see u in court. Um ya u will most def see me in court but he is so cold its like making me sick. He acts as if i was a monster and his new girl and new life is ohhh so much better i feel like im at the angry stage but past denial which is better but i wanna yell and like throw a cup at the wall but whats the point there isnt one it doesnt bring happiness to harbour anger it only makes u burn while the other person is moving along. Did i mention he took nothing not a thing nothing. Calls me a few times asking for like something pointless and then never would show up to get it so. Its crazy his passport his bank cards he took nothing which is why i assumed he didn’t plan on leaving but cheated and then stayed gone . Wow when i type it it sounds even crazier but thats my story. After 8years my first christmas alone my first everythingeverythingaone actually i still forget and pour two coffee s in the morning its sad but im a wonderful per son and i dont deserve this nobody does. Im not rushing into a new relationship like he did r u kidding me i dont need some one else’s crap right now im gonna live for me and my kids its just so crazy ive been reading when im at home and feel alone it makes me so tired from all the stress that i just fall asleep again really sad but know your worth people even if the guy comes back which i think i want my heart wants my head knows omg no hes with someone else doing what we used to with a stranger he abandoned me and didn’t care he is happy with another so even if he came back i would yell at him everyday because there would be zero trust if a man does it once he knows how to do it again but with less guilt and emotion so dont except less than you deserve!
Also with no contact on your first try you are gonna break it i did tons of times but just prepare yourself to feel even worse because even if your the nicest person in the world it will kill you to hear the laughter and happiness in his voice and his emotions will be shut off for you which usually means he has met and is happy in the early stages with somebody else its really hard for me to not calk or text even when i know now what i know because we werr connected for 8years together always except when we went to work so its very hard. Its almost like a dream that u cant believe for a bit but it feels like a death because even tho there still alive u cant and u kno u cant ever be wih them again or have what u had before. I would say what is helping me is family not friends mine dont quite understand we are at different stages in life i guess but family and laughs and reading or getting into a good movie a comedy makes me feel okay when im home and trying to put everything in the back of my mind. Changing your environment around too helps i changed my hairstyle got that fresh feeling . Anyways i hope everybody is healing or on there way to healing. Stay strong everyone!
Hi I badly needed help my boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me 2 months ago. We are living in the same town. Sometimes we can see each other if he passed by in the same place that he knows that I always stay. He is showing mixed signals like he is always drunk, he goes home late and He is showing deaperate figures (our common friend told me) on our first week of break up he told me that we were cool off he hust needed some space. I dont know why it takes too long for him to decide. Recently Ive heard that he talked to my cousin and asked about me if im going out with friends. Few weeks back We talked through phone he told me to move on because he has already moved on and he is seeing another girl ( I’m thinking that he is just making me jealous) He had also met my parents at the bar and talked to them like nothing had happed to us.. Few days ago We are at the park Im with my friends I saw him alone drinking beer my friends told me he stare at me and some glances. Im thinking that he is using our common friend to spy on me at the beginingg this friend of ours always texting him if where I am if im at home because we are neighbors( this friend is a guy).. I cant contact my ex anymore he changed #..Im confused please help
Hi –
Seven years is a long time to spend with someone and them break up. I wonder why that happened? You should ask yourself WHY the relationship split up – try to figure they out so you can get some clarity. Are you both very young? Does he have a job? Does he drink a lot? Was he seeing other girls? Did he just not have the maturity to get married?
I read what you wrote. He is driving you crazy right now. What woman wants a man who is driving her crazy? His friends ask about you, but you have no way to contact him. That’s not really fair or very grown up.
It may be that he is trying to decide. Like I said WHY did you split up in the first place?
I really do not have any better advice than that. I had an ex who left me suddenly and would never speak to me again. I kept hoping he would change his mind but he never did. He simply would not speak to me. I reviewed all the things that happened during the relationship and as much as I hated to admit it, there were some things going on that were really not right. I couldn’t change certain things he was doing. He never changed them either. Then he left. I was heartbroken and he would never speak to me again after 4 years. I am a little older and we were good friends (or so I thought).
You also mention that you saw his parents on the bar. If you have a friendly relationship with them, maybe they can give you a clue as to what’s going on in his life so you can put it to rest and move along. As I said, 7 years is a long time to just walk away with no answer.
I wish you luck. You will get your answer.
(robinsonbuckler @ yahoo. com) did a love spell for me about 3 days ago and the results came like miracle….
Okay, so I was in a relationship for a few months, I was madly in love with him. Absolutely crazy about him. Then one day without saying anything he left. It was really hard, but after a year I met a new guy he was different made me feel wanted. But then the other guy came back after 2 years. My feelings are everywhere. I love both of them but I think I rushed into the second one too fast. I just don’t know how to feel.
You say guy number 2 makes you fell wanted. Does guy number 1 make you feel wanted in the same way? It is wonderful to love someone. But they must love you in return or they will leave you again. See if guy number 1 will put a ring on it. If not / stick with guy number 2. Guy number 1 needs to explain why he left and make a promise. Otherwise he will do the same thing again. Don’t let him drag you down. If he is sincere, gives you a real explanation and the FOLLOWS THROUGH, okay. Seems like he must make up his mind or he will repeat the same routine. Guy number 2 is steady and straight ahead. That is best for YOU. Who wants a guy who can’t make up his mind? Give number one a change but ONLY if he shows you he is serious – in every way – not just by the words he says, but by the things he does and the sense of security he makes you feel. Guy number 2 is ahead in that department. Don’t get rid of him. He sounds like a keeper. Let guy number 1 have a chance – but dump him immediately if he is not making you feel secure.
Love is a strange thing, but being around a man you love who makes you feel insecure is BAD NEWS. Let that inform your decision.
Good luck:)
I had similar experience. I had 1,5 years long relationship with ex man I loved much. Last months with him was bad, but I hoped it is temporary. That was just beginning of the end. He left me without telling anything, Just completely blocked me out of his life 3 days after telling he would like to marry me. I spent months confused and heartbroken. Tried to contact him and ask what happened and got to know he doesn’t want me anymore. All that with rude attitude towards me for no reason…
Months later I met new guy. Few days in relationship with him and ex come back to me full of ‘love’ and asked me back. As he already left me 2 times and didn’t care about me for so many months I rejected him. I knew after so much failing it won’t work with him, also I had feelings for this new guy, he was better man in all ways. I didn’t want to hurt ex and offered him friendship. This was my mistake. Somehow he found way to contact my man and lied to him about me. Ex told him that I love him and want to be with him and showed ”proof’ which I guess was our old messages or something made up. This made him break up with me. After done his dirty job my ex abandoned me again. I guess he get to know from some mutual friend that I was moved on and was happy with my new man so he wanted to destroy it and make me miserable again, just like him, and sadly he succeed. I was heartbroken again. My man come back to me later after months but I couldn’t forgive him how he believed my ex over me and didn’t even tell me or ask me before breakup. Yes, men returns like boomerangs. Is that good thing? In my case it was disaster. Take guy number 2 because guy number 1 might be poisonous snake like my ex was. He left you once, might do it more and more if you let him.
I am sorry to hear this story. Any man who listens to another man’s story about you does not have any faith in you. I have been in the position where a poisonous outsider influences my boyfriend against me.
I have to ask – why does the guy believe some other GUY and not even ask ME, the woman he has been having an intimate relationship with? This is very bad. I would confront your boyfriend and ask him why he does not believe you. Then you have a chance to clarify things and throw the jealous poisonous ex out if the picture.
The ex is only interested in screwing things up for you and your present guy. That means he cares neither for what is best for you OR THE OTHER GUY!!!!!
Try to make your man see that the ex is just a trouble maker.’if your man can not see this, the 2 of them are really jerks.
Don’t let your ex mess up your new revelation ship without questioning your current man. Confront the ex and tell him butt out. Ask your current man why he believes your ex over you.
It is likely the ex is so mean he is trying to keep you from being happy with your new man.
Try to point this out to the new man. If he doesn’t get it, he has no b***s and is just a jerky twerp who is too immature to make his own decisions about his own girl.
Fight as hard as you can to keep your new man FAR AWAY from your ex. If he decides to believe your ex over you, the ex is a real dirtbag and the new guy does not have the sense to see that he is being manipulated by your ex.
This is definitely a tough position to be in.
I have been there, if the guy is too stupid to think for himself, it is very heartbreaking. Try to get as much clarity as possible. It may be that the new guy just needs some encouragement from you.
If that does not work, then the new guy is just as much of a jerk as the ex.
Try your best for your own sake to be honest and clear. If the guy is not responsive, he is definitely not in your corner and is half a man.
You deserve a guy who has got your back. Not one who listens to every stupid thing other people say.
Go for it and good luck.
I had a boyfriend, everything was going strong, there was so much love till suddenly it hit his mind that he is looking for someone “little different” …… What was that? If that is so what was he doing with me all these time?
I had a boyfriend he was with my friend cadence and then they broke up and he started to tell me that he likes everything about me n stuff we talked to each other get to know each other n stuff and 2 years ago he said that he wants to be in a relationship with me and I wanted the same but cadence was really hurt about the fact that I am with her x 3 years after which was on February 14th 2015 he broke up with me for some girl who he met thru his cousin and after then I never forget about that day.
I have been split up with my ex boyfriend for some time now but I still think about him. We ended mutually because I had to move away for a year and when I was away we still messaged and we knew we missed each other etc. I saw him when I came home for christmas and we spent time together and we were intimate with each other, we spent new years together and he told me he still loved me at midnight, it was all very romantic. However I had to return back to where I was living. We kept talking for much of the year but suddenly he said we shouldnt do this anymore – I think because he was hurting too. I figured I would be home in a few months but I didnt think I’d see him again. When I came home I met him and he brought up old memories and even mentioned his parents asking if we were getting back together. He told me he had been seeing a girl briefly but it was nothing serious and he wasnt ready for another relationship – and how ours was such a good one. But he didnt want to be in a relationship. We saw each other and talked with each other a few times and each time we saw each other it was like nothing changed, I recently found out he quit his job and moved away and although I havent been talking to him for some time after I asked if he was ok and ifeverything was alright. I was asking as a friend and he asked me to leave him alone and to “accept his decision and leave him be”. I was very hurt by it because there was no hard feelings between us – even after we casually hooked up a few times after we were broken up. I havent seen him in about 3-4 months and I know he only recently moved. I miss still talking to him and think about him a lot. while I know I would be in a relationship with him again he hasnt expressed any desire to. Yet when I talk to him he tells me its comforting to hear my voice and we still share the same chemistry we always had. do you think we could get back together? Apologies for the long post I’m just so very confused!!
Anything is possible I know what you going through I decided to put me first. Once you stop putting energy in him. He will start putting energy in you. I don’t believe in the love spell doctors, but I believe in God. If you put God first an believe that he will restore it. If you met someone else then maybe that’s your que to go. Don’t be scare to move on because you feel misery make you think about him. You are scared because once you stop being miserable an happy you want think of him. You have actually moved on but they always come back but would you want him.
There is a lot i have to say but i really don’t know were to start from. I guess i will have to build my story, that is life story form the begin but will try has much to make it short. I fell in love with my boyfriend Daxson about three years ago and since then we have being living together. We are not married or engaged because like he said he wanted to finish his med school and all that. I was not even bothered because we were in love and as long as there is love who really need marriage and somehow even with all the stress he was going through, he finds the time to make me feel loved always. He is literally the definition caring. But here is the twister i never knew or rather he never told me he was scared for being a father at least we never talk about it because it never crossed our mind and we always i mean always played it safe. I was on my pills and he always used protection. Like they say, i guess when its time its time like, i got pregnant. Looking at it then i will say, that was my greatest mistake in life only now i see a baby is really a blessing. Ok let me go back on track. When i told him about it, i couldn’t say he was happy or sad but he had an expression on his face like “de f*** i ve got med school and now this ?” but he assured me, it was fine and he was happy and we are going to do it together as a family and i wished all that where true. On my third trimester, he said to my face he was not ready to be a father and was not going to do it with me anymore and that he doesn’t think he is gonna be a good father. We all know its hard to believe soon we all gonna be parents but for real, it comes when we are not even prepared for it and all we can do then is accept it as it comes. I tried to make him see what he was doing to me and his baby i mean i loved him so much and i was the happiest woman alive to be carrying his child i just wished he was too. He was not even there to see his girl when she was born he just left me and our baby. I could not understand why i was just too heart broken knowing that he has been the only one in my life for three years and now he just left me with some silly excuse i could not understand. I literally became a single mom for four months before Metodo Acamu a witch doctor helped me get back the man i love. Its not like i couldn’t do it all alone i mean take care of my baby girl its just that i loved him so much that i could not leave without him and all i could think of was him. Even with all that happened i could not bring myself to hate him i was only heart broken and wished i could get him back. When i contact Motodo Acamu ,he asked me to get some materials of which he was going to use to prepare a spell that was coming to reunite me, Daxson and April my baby girl. I sent him the money for the materials because it was less stressful and he made me see he was an honest and truthful witch doctor. He helped me a lot, he sent a package to me which i paid for . He told me to burning the content of package with the incense he sent along with the content of the package and in seven days Daxson will be my one and only again. Just as Metodo Acamu said it happened. I can say i was surprise because i have never done this kind of thing before and i was not so sure how it will play out. Though i made Daxson beg, i had to let him into my life and that of April again because that was all i ever wanted. And the spell is totally safe like Metodo Acamu told me and the love is real because the spell only made him see how much i mean to him and how much his life revolves around April and i . Everyone has his or her own opinion about the witch doctor Metodo Acamu but for me he is the reason my family is complete and happy if you want to Contact him use this email
metodoacamufortressx@ yah oo. com note please use the normal email format where all words and character are joined together
My name is Shina Spiffs i want you all to join me to thank the great man that help me to restore my Married with my husband who dump me for another Girl for 3 months because the Girl had money, at first i never believed Prophet Osa will be able to help me win Nelson back from this other Girl but because i still love him and i need him back in my life, i worked and follow his instruction and it surprise me that after working with him, Nelson called me and ask me to forgive and forget the past that he still love me and that was how my husband came back for good. So with this great work done for me by Prophet Osa of whom i promise to always share his good work to the whole wide world and if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him.
Sometimes i ask myself, what really make those who claim to love you stay ? Is it the feel of protection, or the feeling that their money is enough to make someone endure their presence until it all blows away or the feeling of love, or is it all these wrapped in one big gift bag? I never got to know the answer to my question and i may never get the answer. You see, i had money or rather i can say i had enough to care for my ex wife now and my two kids and heaven know i gave my wife then all the love she needed from me in every way i can imagine or possibly give love. I gave my family protection, love and everything one can ever ask for in one big gift bag. Now speaking of my ex wife, i did the impossible to see she was happy all the time because i loved her so much that seeing her happy really makes me happy. But it seems to my ex wife money and the good life was everything and love, was nothing but an illusion. Some how in a way one thing leading to another i lost my job at J.P Morgan as an accountant and just like that my beautiful world of colors as i knew it, came down crashing on me. Being not in my youth and vibrant age it was so impossible to get a new job. No one wanted to heir someone like me i mean if it were me, i sure as he** wouldn’t heir me. They all needed a fresh young and updated version of me. After six months my bills started pilling up i was so late on my mortgage and every hard thing that happens when someone losses his job just as a finger snap was happening to me. My wife being my wife saw this and thought there was no way out and then she felt me filed for a divorce and wanted to take all i had left. The one thing that kept me from breaking just as i watched my life come to end. She wanted to take my girls from me and have them rised by her lover. This will be a very long tale if i start on how she got herself a new man off course with money and managed to make him fall for her just as i did so i will just skip that part. The fight for custody went on and i was going to loss in all ways because i had just lost my job and house was gone and i was diagnosed to be emotionally unstable. By some cosmic accident that i don’t even believe in, i found a witch doctor named Mutton Osun on the internet who out of desperation i contacted for help and somehow placed all my hope on and heave bless him, he lived up to his words. I poured on him my sorrows,I told him how i lost my job ,my wife and how i was about to lose my girls and he listened and comforted me via telephone. Speaking to Mutton Osun healed my heart and gave me hope again. Mutton Osun is a rear gem that can not be easily found. I wanted him to help me get back my job and win my girls custody battle. He asked me to get some materials which was going to be used to get a spell done to grant my request. I gave him the money to get the materials for me because it saved me a lot of expenses. After four day he sent me a package asking that i follow the instruction he left along with the package. I did all he asked of me and like a miracle i was called back to my job at J .P Morgan with them saying i have been given a second chance after six month? and just after the spell? it only explained on thing that the spell is at work and i won the custody case of my girls just as i asked. I should have asked for my wife back but no she caused me so much pain and every bit of love for her ,was dead. You reading should not just believe me. Contact Mutton Osun let him help you and your problem them you will believe all this is as real as it gets. Use this as contact godsofosunx @ roc ket mail. com
note: roc ket mail. com is joined together like every other email format….
I guess this is an advertisement for for Mutton Osun.
It is impossible to believe that JP Morgan would ever hire you, I man who cannot spell or write correctly, in the first place.
Does the moderator ever read these bogus comments?
I mean a man who cannot spell or write properly. Typographical error – which of course you would no nothing about.
I mean KNOW nothing about. Typographical error.
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago because he was upset for some things I said and hurt him. Also that he needed time to find himself. He said he loves me and misses me bit thinks is what’s best. He broke once and said he wanted to see me and talked. The next day said that I eas better if e went our own ways and not saw each other. I want to know if he’ll come back? We ended in good terms and he knows I love him. And I k LW he loves me too. He moved to the bay, got a new job and said he wants to start fresh. Will he realize he wants me back or miss me enough to come back? It was out of the blue after an argument and our relationship wasn’t bad. Please help
My husband had taken up with another woman. I knew she had cast a spell on him, and he was helpless to do anything about it.He would call me once or twice a week and tell me he still loved me, but that would be it and he wouldn’t do anything about it.So I was desperate and called upon you to help me.d.rrivers I had never done anything like this in my life, and I was so embarrassed I didn’t tell anyone – not even my closest friend — that I had a spell cast in my behalf.After the spell was cast, I thought his attitude was softening. He started to talk negative about her, and I was starting to feel a strength welling up in me. So instead of begging him to come back I was more calm, even aloof. And this change in my attitude was definitely having an effect on him.I was kind of turning the tables on him, saying I was getting used to living without him. I could tell by his tone of voice he didn’t want to hear that.After a while, he admitted he had made a mistake and asked if he could come back home.thank you d,rrivers for freeing him from that hex and making him come to his senses. Our family is intact again and I will be forever grateful.
Elizabeth Sestora
Webster, NY
well I meant this guy a club and I sleep with him that night, then later …… im skip sum but I ask another female wat she think about him if he was gone ever come back for me to be his girlfriend.. because he claims oh I was drunk I was desperate …… then I ask a girl he worked with wat she think about the situation…. so she talked to me just wait…. so now few days later I check my facebook messages and I seen he got mad and sad if I come over his house hell have me arrested and how I wrote sumbody asking bout him… but I felt like it was no harm……
Hi,
I would like to tell you my story.
I met a boy being on holidays, we met thanks to my cousin, because he was his friend. Then I was with another boy but anyway we started texting every day , and everyday. We could not have a day without speaking, finally I fell in love. After 8 months I broke up with my boyfriend, because I known I cannot be with somebody who I really dont love. From that day, I loved only one boy. He opened his heart for me, he said me his secrets, when I went to that place on winter we met.
On June he decided to come to visit me, then I left with him to his country for holidays. We known we could not live without each other. It was wonderful. At the begining we were really shy, he was showing his love a lot and I even felt bad sometimes that I couldnt ( in some moments) show the same. He made me a wooden heart and we started speaking about our future ( obviously together). After holidays I came back to my country, he stayed but he was visiting me every few months, he couldnt wait to see me. We were suffering a lot being in a distance relationship. Then came time when we left to his country, we started working and first serious argue, we broke up for some moment but we kept living together.
Then he decided to come to my country and we started living together and university. Sounds like a dream. Something we really wanted.
Lastly ( about 1 month) we were arguing quite a lot. From my fault. I was jealous, I just felt to catch some point to argue… about everything. But we had beautiful moments too… Anyway 2 weeks ago I said…- We should break up ( I just felt to say him sth he starts to worry or I really dont know what I though). Stupid me. I said something that I didnt expect consequences. And he said – Yes. Then I was shocked, I though it is for short period of time. But not. He is stubborn in his deciosions. We live together, I made us stay in diffrent rooms. He closed his door, listen music, I see him really stressed. I realise he search things to forget, not to think. Once in emotinonal moment he came to me and layed on my bed and said he has personal war. That he loves me a lot but he cannot.. That this is over. Over and over. I heard it hundreds times lastly. He avoids me. He said I will find somebody, he even said me to meet with any other. But this is not what I wanna. I want only the one person.
He says he cares of me, that I will be always important for him…
When I asked him- If your feelings come back, would you be back with me? He said – No. Even if I feel to be with You, I will not say you, or if I do, anyway I will not come back.
He is stressed, I see, I hurted him. I know.
Sometimes I try to let him in peace 2 or 3 days and then I come back to my home. He says he is better then. Lastly I sent him sushi and he wrote me that I am crazy, that he really enjoy, that it was the wonderful suprise.
But then I came back home and no changes for better.
Sometimes I go to him and say we will be back, we will be back… but I know it is not correct. What should I do? Let him in peace? Be best side of me, do nice things but dont talk about Us? I really regret my behavior, I know second time I would not do that. He is the most important person for me. I said words to say without thinking about consecuences.
Sometime he comes to my room, but he makes a barrier not to be to close with me. He says he doesnt see any chance to come back. But 3 weeks ago he was making things for me… made us watch the stars, hugs… To his friends and family he said how much he loves me… and not long time ago I asked him if he though about breaking up and he said – No.
He still keeps our fotos on fb, he keeps in relationship with me there, he didnt say to his friends/ and some relatives we broke up.
Please, read this not written pefect way story cause there is all what I feel.
And I really ask you for help, because I know I broke the most important for me relationship. I dont want to believe in a better future without him, I dont wanna nobody else, I just want one person. The person that I made suffer a lot.
PS. In one month he is leaving to his country for holidays.
I met the man of my life. He going through a divorce and the way his wife left him devastated him. So we start dating I allowed him to openly discuss her an what was going with them. For 6 months we were strong until I felt he was to bitter. This man knew when my cycle come on, every morning we started our day with a prayer. On my lunch we talk for the whole hour. Then we I leave work on the phone again. Brought my coffee every morning sent me beautiful texts. Always thought of what he can do to make it better. Met mom she fail in love with me and her friends. Met his child everyone telling him how good an happy he look. He always said he’s a private person I show some people our photo together. He didn’t want that he was fine if people seen us together without social media. Then in the 9th month he start comparing me to the wife an saying I talk to much. To the meat an potatoes we got in a argument because I ask him was he over his wife. Which open up a door so he wanted to break up because he said he don’t want to bring her up in our relationship which he’s in counseling now. However I called him one day and he told me not to call him any more because he want to get his self together. So I must give him what he want. Then he still want to come to my dinner. I am so hurt til I don’t know what to do. I gave a short theory of this story but we were together almost every day.
Hello Everyone my Name is Melissa from United States NYC, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line. I will never forget the help the Prophet Iyare render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was just checking my mails in the office when i saw someone sharing her testimony on how Prophet Iyare help her out with her marital problems so i contacted the email of Prophet Iyare i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place that i should fill some information concerning my self i did after 30 minus he called me again congratulating me that my problems will be solve within 48 hours. he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage but i will make a free donation to their Iyare home anything my heart told me. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don’t you give Prophet Iyare a try they work surprises because i know they will also bring back your husband. if you need his help to get any of your problems solved just Google his name ( Prophet Iyare ) and you will get all his details you can use in contacting him. God bless and reward you for the great work Prophet.
🙁 I try not to contact him but all I end up with is texting him.. Yeah but at last ( my last message ) is “Goodbye Forever and I’ll not contact you for the next time” . I am having my exams on head and I am not able to concentrate. I don’t want to be in relationship again but I want him to understand my reasons for testing him. All he did was right and when it’s about me, He is telling me that I betrayed him. After all he himself gave me the reason to test him. Atleast I did confess about what i did and why i did. But he is telling me, we are not each other’s type. Anyways, I am working on my NC rule.
But, will he come back?
Really would love a guy’s opinion on this.
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Yes we are young. And we’ve been together since 14. But we were completely fine and all the sudden he asked me for a break. I was devastated and I still am, I showed up at his house to talk and he hugged me and kept saying it’s just a break. We have been on and off before and usually the first thing he does is block me on all social media and ways I have to contact him but he didn’t do that this time he just kept reading my messages and ignoring them. Well I showed up at his house again to try to make up, and I thought things were going well. He told me he loved me and that he misses me too and he said it a few times. And he was hugging me and kissing me all night and holding my hand when we took a walk to go get something to eat(which he paid for), and he said he wasn’t talking to anyone else though I saw a girl text him a few times but he told me about her and said he was venting to her about us and she’s the one that helped him see that he wanted a break and doesn’t want to be tied down. He said they are only friends too. But then he even let me put my clothes back into “my drawer” at his house, and when I went there he still had the photo of us up on his night stand. Everything seems fine and when I left he was like ill see you later and I texted him and said text me before bed okay? And he said “I will :)” and then the next thing I know I wake up to a text that says “just letting you know just cause you came over today and stuff we aren’t back together” why did he feel the need to say that? Was he just trying to keep his guard up or do you think he’s not coming back?
Hello I’m Rache from Philippines, my LDR ex fiancée for 3 1/2 pushed me away when his mom passed away, we both truly live each other and were very connected
He visited me often we traveled together, when his mom died, he changed and sent me an email out of the blue that we have no future, I know his in pain of his lost,
But I do t understand why he pushed me away, I’m devasted and still in pain,
He told me to his email he truly love me but it’s time for us to separate our own ways, how come this man did a lot of effort for me changed his mind so fast. Is there any hope for us? I’m doing the NC for 2 months now, do I need to contact him? Or I need to wait him to contact me? Please help me
How can I use this. I was with LDR for 3 years we live in different country’s his mom passed away and he pushed me away, it’s been 4 months now he blocked me on his FB and maybe he blocked me on his phone even to his email. So tell me do I still have a chance to get him back?
Hi, about 2 weeks ago my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me after 8 months. For the month prior to the break we were fighting and arguing a lot. Most of the arguments were about the same thing: I felt like he wasn’t respecting my time. I would ask him to hang out and have dinner with my family, and he would say that he’s be coming over (I’d tell my parents to cook for 5 instead of 4), but he’d cancel. He’s been really sick for the past month and on different medications and he would tell me that he wasn’t feeling well or he couldn’t hang out because he had other things to do. He’d do that a couple times in a row. I would look forward to seeing him because I just got home from a family vacation and he would just cancel on me. A couple days prior to the breakup we went to dinner and everything was fine. It was the first time in awhile that we didn’t fight about anything and I thought that things were going to get better. I knew he was stressed a lot. His online class was giving him a lot of trouble and his grandparents were in and out of the hospital. I messed up and said a bunch of things that I didn’t mean and deeply regret now. I did question why he couldn’t hang out with me. He took that as I didn’t trust him and that was the final argument we had, a few sentences later he broke up with me over Facebook. That’s where we did all our talking because he was so far away and I don’t have a phone right now. I wish he did it in person. A few days after he brought me my things that I left in his truck and oddly enough I felt better after we talked. We agreed that it would only be a temporary break and that we needed some time apart. I went away for a week to visit my friend and when I came back I broke the no contact rule and pretty much broke every rule because I couldn’t emotionally handle not talking to him. He was my first everything. I thought I found true love at 20 and I wanted him back. I asked him if we could sit and talk things over when I got back and he said that it’s probably best if the break was permanent. Which broke my heart even more than him wanting to be single. I started going out with a couple other guys to try to get over him and one of them tried to take advantage of me and that made me miss my ex even more. I’m at a loss of what to do. He and I both made mistakes and I realise which ones were mine and all I want is to make everything better so that we can have a stronger relationship (if that ever happens). I’ve become more bitter than I was since the breakup. I don’t believe that true love exists and that it’s just in fairy tales. I want to change that, but every relationship I’ve ever been in has ended badly and I find I can’t remain optimistic any longer. I just want help.
If someone can give me their thoughts on this it would be greatly appreciated…
My bf broke up with me one month ago because i was smothering him. A few days after the relationship ended we came in contact and started seeing each other again. We talked about the breakup and i admitted to him that i was wrong for smothering him. We decided to try to make things work but to take things very slow. But every time we met or texted emotions were running high. So a couple weeks ago we decided to give each other space for a while to let the tension settle down.
But of course, my beliefs and perceptions of things led me to bascially fabricate stories in my head. With my emotions running high I messaged him asking if he was in contact with his ex (which i believed in my head that he was), and he felt accused because he said he hasn’t been in touch with her and why would I even ask that question. This angered him a lot, and he told me he wants to go separate ways. He told me he’s tired of my s**t and that i haven’t changed 🙁 he said that he wants to have no contact with me whatsoever. I was broken. But i knew I’m the one to blame for my stupid actions.
This all happened via text message, but it felt like the break up all over again. With him “yelling” , being dismissive, even cursing me…only this time he plugged the plug for good 🙁
I feel remorseful about everything. Mainly because he left with having very little to no respect for me. I’m sure he would look back and not regret leaving, and he will feel happier and more relieved. Our relationship and communication was so strong despite everything. But i feel as though he would overlook all of that because his hatred for me is stronger than anything else… I feel as though i didn’t leave any reason for him to “miss” me or what we had. Even though I cared deeply for him, loved him with all of my heart, supported him through everything and did whatever it took to make him happy (even for the smallest things)…I feel as though he will take it all for granted, or it wouldn’t be enough to overpower his hate for me to at least have him consider trying to establish communication with me again…
I know I already blew my chances with him, for even a platonic relationship 🙁 and I’m feeling a bit remorseful, even though I’m trying to convince myself that going separate ways is best… i know i was wrong for smothering him, and i could understand why he bolted for the door. But i honestly did not realize how I was making him feel until after he broke up with me. I wished he was more opened and communicated with me while we were still together about how I made him feel.
I know he left with little respect for me, but I’ve done so much for him and supported him through all the stressful moments he had. However, I wasn’t at fault for everything. He is the type of person that goes out drinking often with buddies. He would complain to me almost every time we met that he’s broke or can’t spend too much, but yet he would go out often with friends. I tried to explain to him how it affected me and my concerns, but all he thought was that i was being “controlling”. He cannot manage his money, he spends it on booze basically everyday. Now I know a lot of women would leave a relationship like that, but i stuck with him because in a way I felt sorry for him. I wanted to help him. I even created a budget for him to follow but he never followed it (and he is the one that asked me for help with managing his money).
I know I was wrong for smothering him with text messages, but I’m not a bad person. I care deeply for the people I love and i try to help them with the best of my ability. He was one of those people. I not only told him how much i cared for and love him, I showed it. I stuck with him no matter what and tried to help him, supported him, offered advice when he needed it, and im the one that spoiled him. But i feel as though he took all of it for granted; he took ME for granted because he has a mindset that I’m “possessive/controlling/unbearable”. And i know he will make me sound like the “bad person” to all of his friends and family. Because i know how stubborn he is and he will tell himself he did the best thing by letting me go because of how possessive I became, instead of looking at all the little things I did for him. Like I said, I admit I’m wrong for smothering him, but I wished he had given me more time to show him that i could change.
However, I also thought i was being treated unfairly, because he never took into consideratiom my concerns about his drinking habits/not being able to manage his money. He would even yell at me and curse me when we argued. I KNOW I don’t deserve that. I’ve gotten angry at him before, but I’d never belittle him in any way. I never yelled at him even during an argument. I’m a soft spoken person with a big heart. And i feel as though he took advantage of me. And every concern i had he’ll twist it to make it seem like I’m just being controlling “as usual”. I really wish he knew how he made me feel. And realize that his actions hurt me and to know i don’t deserve any of it despite of how much i smothered him. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m aware now of what not to do in the future, but I’m not sure he will ever change.
I know everyone that reads this would think I’m so much better off and shouldn’t even be moping around for him. But i don’t know why i have to constantly convince myself that I’m better off this way, instead of telling myself with confidence that i know I’m better off. He was my first boyfriend and I know how much i put into the relationship. So I guess the fact that he took it for granted is why it’s bothering me. Also I waited until HE broke up with ME, and he probably left with very little respect for me, when i know i shouldve left alot sooner. I’m just so remorseful… I’m not sure if he will ever look back and realize the type of person I really am (someone with a big heart who cared deeply for him), what i brought to the table, and if he will ever regret hurting the nice person…
Hi Stephanie –
I understand how you feel. You are obviously a living and caring person. Live is a 2 way street. If your boyfriend chooses to spend his spare time and money with his buddies instead of you, that says a lot. I am a grown woman and put up with this type of thing for a long time. His money, he spent it hoe he liked. The point is, he preferred his freedom to hang out with the guys most of the time. It had nothing to do with managing a budget or anything O could influence. You are not at fault, if the guy wants to be a perpetual teenager he will find a woman who will put up with this nonsense (maybe) but obviously you are looking for a real partner. Don’t blame yourself. You saw a situation, you felt he needed help and as a loving partner that’s what you did. If he is not mature enough to be ready for the type of relationship you want – equal partner – you will always feel like a failure. Cut your losses and don’t spend any more time. I know it hurts, but the more time you spend, the more unhappy you will become.
I am sure he has many good qualities that make him fun to hang out with, but he sounds extremely immature. I find this with a lot of men. They have good jobs, nice homes, plenty of money, but do not want to engage in an adult relationship.
I am sure you are not a teenager in high school. Dating for grown ups is not about hanging around waiting to see if it’s a “phase”. Why waste your time? No man is perfect, but this one sounds as if he is fun, but very draining. It seems to me that you have done nothing wrong but hope that some one you love would place priority on your relationship. He has not done it. He probably won’t . Do t blame yourself that he wants to play around. That’s what he wants to do. It is hard when we find out about this. Sometimes the guy doesn’t even realize it for a while. Then he has no courage to say so.
I would speak my piece and walk away if I were you. Don’t waste any more of your time on a man who does not reciprocate. It is like repairing a worn out pair of shoes over and over again. At a certain point they fall apart and no amount of money can make them wearable. Better to get rid of them. You will find better shoes later on.
Thank you for your response. I used to blame myself for the relationship failing and I felt like a horrible person because that’s how he made me feel. But I’ve realized that he is very immature and he has nothing good going for him in life. I honestly can’t think of any woman sticking around with him for a long-term relationship. He is fun to be around. But he does not have the qualities any woman wants in a relationship. He lives on paycheck to paycheck, he has no money saved for a future because he spends it on booze everyday. On top of that he goes out drinking on a regular basis with friends. In short, he drinks excessively and doesn’t have money of his own for a future. Yet he would go out with friends then complain to me that he is “broke”. He depends on his job to give him a vehicle to drive around and a cellphone to use, because he does not have enough money of his own to afford either one. He also would prefer to rent (and he depends on his paycheck to help him pay his rent) instead of saving money for a house of his own. He is 27 years of age and has a stable job, yet he struggles to save money. I don’t know which woman would stick around with a guy like that for a LT relationship.
I have finally realized that it isn’t my fault. I’ve done some things that annoyed him, and i admit that. But at least I’m able to learn from it and work on myself.
You are right that he is very immature, I agree. Over a week ago he told me he does not want to have any communication with me again. So i did as he said. I was a bit heartbroken at first, but then i realized that not having any kind of attachment to him is much better for me. So i just went about doing my own thing. However, HE sent me a Facebook message last night (9 days after telling me not to ever contact him again), asking me “how are we still Facebook friends?”…he only sent me that message but he never deleted me off his profile.
I thought that this was extremely immature. We both rarely use Facebook, so i didn’t really care if he was still on there or not. But i figured if he has such bad blood toward me now, then why not simply remove me from his profile without messaging me? Instead he asked a dumb question. I figured he wanted a reaction out of me. Perhaps thinking i would say something that makes him think I’m still chasing him. Because that would surely boost his already inflated ego. However, I did not respond.
With all of that being said he IS very immature. And day by day I get happier that he is out of my life.
My ex and me were together for Two years and 4 months, we were very happy to be husband and wife, last month we went to california and stayed with his family, after we got back he started acting distant, then he started hanging out with a girl, and kept sneaking off to go hangout with her, so i got upset, i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please him but it got worst, one day he left the house and never came back, i tried reaching him but no way i could reach him, because of the heart break he has put me into, i went into search of a real spell caster but I was scammed several times, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my boyfriend, when i saw testimony about spell caster Mr Robinson buckler on the internet, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise (((robinsonbuckler @ yahoo. com))) restored my relationship, my boyfriend came back to me, i took him back and I am now settled with my him by the magic power of Mr Robinson buckler spell
i have been with my boyfriend for six months.. and when we started seeing each other i knew he was single, coz he never said. and because i was single too i was glad that both of us are single. so 3months later in our relationship, he told me that he was seeing someone and they’ve been together for 2 years. so i asked him what is our way forward and if he wanted to be with me and why he chose to tell me now. and he said to me, he loves me and he can’t lie to me anymore, and that he never thought our relationship can become so seriously. so i forgave him so we carried on. so ever since that, their some things i recognised in the house that when m there some lady ia coming inn. an some times when he is off to work, he doesn’t respond to my calls over the weekend, doesn’t respond my massage’s. and i am the one who’s always asking questions like,y are you doing this, you know how much i love you, i appreciate our relationship and i dont wanna loose you. so i am confused because i think i know he loves me and that i trust him. but he keeps doing this every month, even over the weekend, he did so. so if I’m not going to call or ask him to meet, he won’t do so…but when we are together everything is the same like before. and if he is cheating i dont understand the reasons why he is doing so… i have learned to love him, to trust him,to appreciate him,to understand him and i want our relationship to work.. please help. should call him now, or just wait for him to come back????
Im 24 he is 22 I was with my boyfriend for five years before he dumped me last week. He says that he is suffering because of me being unhappy with myself.he said there is no way I can love him if I don’t love myself. He is tired of being unhappy with the relationship and wants to be single and be his own person. He said he has been unhappy for a long time and is no longer confident that we could work.
I understand his point of view but right now I’m going through a hard time with my family and I think he abandoned me. I begged and pleaded with him. I have contacted him everyday with text messages and phone calls and even went by his place today to see him. All of which upset him even more and he said he wants me to respect his decision and that he doesn’t want to speak to me. I told him I want to be friends and he said he was open to a drink sometime but not now. He said right now he doesn’t want to be friends. He said that if its meant to be then somewhere down the line we would get back together. He also said that I have been pissing him off with constantly contacting him and he doesn’t feel like I’m treating him like a friend.
Today he unfriended me on Facebook and blocked me on Instagram. I don’t know about blocking me on his phone since I refuse to call him and see. What should I do? Is it possible that he is still upset about the breakup and lashing out? Have I lost him for good? I would really appreciate the advice.
Let him go, Jc. Any man that uses the woman as an excuse as to why he is leaving is not a man at all but rather an immature boy. You see, when you truly love and want to be with someone you will STAY, you will overlook their imperfections, and you will want to help them overcome the things that are holding them back not use that as a “reason” to leave. So when a man looks for a way out, let him go. He is basically saying that YOU are not what he wants in life right now. I know it’s an extremely hurtful thing to realize about your situation, especially when you thought this might be the person you would spend the rest of your life with. Don’t think of the past 5 years of as a waste but think of it as a learning experience in which you are probably now more mature than most people your age. Take comfort in that you loved someone fully and genuinely, for no matter the outcome that is truly a beautiful thing that a human can do.
Hi please help… I started dating a guy from work. To me he was absolutely everything I’d been looking for after being single for soo long. It started off as just chatting daily to him leaving his ex girlfriend and two children within 3wks. He was with his ex for 9yrs on and off and cheated on her a lot. Their children are 4yrs and the youngest was 4wks old at the time! He came to live with me and my daughter for 2months & it was lovely between us until the constant texting from his ex, her family, his family and friends made him feel so bad and guilty he finally told me after me pushing one day that he felt like he needed to go back and give things another try with her for the kids. He cried saying it was the hardest decision he has had to make as he really liked me but also loved his kids a he felt like the baby didn’t know him. It broke me but I understood.. The day he left his ex got to find out that he was with me all along when he’d been saying he’d been staying at a friends. We’ve stayed in contact and it’s been almost 3wks since he went back to ‘try’. The other day I ended up loosing myself in the heat of the moment when he came round and we had intercourse. He knows I’ve been asked out by others and hates the idea of me being with someone else but like I’ve said to him I’m not being a sitting duck & whilst he is back at hers/his I will do my own thing too. I still want him so bad & constantly wondering will he come back?!
Hello I am also seeking advice. Back in July 2015, this year. I got my first job. I started working with a guy. We first met we were really cool with each other and very friendly. He asked for my number about a week after we worked together. I believe we hung out a couple nights after that or maybe that same night I gave him my number when we were at work I’m not sure. We went out and we got something to eat then he wanted me to go back to his place. We are watching a movie and of course she started to get grabby and tried having sex with me. We did do a couple things but we didn’t go all the way. I stopped him and told him you need to take me home so he took me home. After that I felt very guilty about doing the things that we did do back at his place and he told me I shouldn’t feel pressured to sleep with him or anything. But about a week later I ended up sleeping with him and we did multiple times A night up until about maybe almost 2 weeks ago maybe three we stop seeing each other sexually. He was always bad with texting and communicating and told me he had had issues with that with his past girlfriends and everything because he’s always so busy and everything.. It would be nights were we go to eat and then always in the back at his place. And you already know where that leads to. So he stopped working at our job last week on Saturday. Since he was leaving I mentioned to my supervise that we were seeing each other. I told her because he was leaving and it wouldn’t affect our job anymore. She didn’t give asking me what’s going on between me and him and I didn’t really have an answer for her so I told her to ask him that night, and she asked him about it. She wasnt suppose to tell me this but he told her up in the managers office that he really likes me and we have good chemistry and he thinks I’m very pretty but some other girl has just now come into his life unexpectedly out of nowhere. when we first started working together he told me about his sisters wedding and this girl that have came out of nowhere was his date to be sisters wedding. The wedding was about two weeks ago.. I was so upset because instead of telling me this he tells someone else. I was also hurt because I’m the one he’s been talking to him from most two months and he takes someone else to a wedding as a date.. After we were done working that night he was quitting he talk to me in the car in the parking lot outside this was after he told the supervisor all the things about the girl but hadn’t told me yet. I believe I said this before but he said he was going to go ghost, and that’s when I told him that I would cut him off and he told me he didn’t want me to do that. I even asked him just as a test to see what he’d say, if he would be OK with me talking the other guys. He pause for a long time and was rubbing his face and told me he couldn’t say that he didn’t want me to talk to the guys because I’m not his.. The conversation ended in me telling him that I was pursuing him and chasing him. And he he didn’t want me to feel like that. Then once I was getting out of his card to get into mine he told me he’d text me and I told him that when he texted me Id reply. Then some Waze later I got some advice from a guy friend of mine. It was very downing advice. My friend basically told me that me sleeping with my coworker so much basically changed his focus from maybe trying to be with me to just sleeping with me. I believe that’s very accurate advice. I left something personal at his house. My old coworker that is. And I went over there last Monday night to get it. I went to get them and we talked for a little bit and I was explaining it to him how we couldn’t talk anymore because of what I found out and everything. He told me that the girl he was talking to you isn’t really much and there’s nothing to really tell. He told me That he didn’t sleep with her. in return
Said I don’t want to stop talking to him just because of that. I want to stop talking to him because we don’t communicate enough and he doesn’t want to commit to me and everything else. I told him “you know I hope you have a good life and everything goes well and all that and I’m sorry this didn’t work out the way it’s shit I hoped it would’ve ” he then returned said the same thing in wish me well all well and everything. This was kind of down putting because he didn’t even give up a fight. Now I’m kind of curious. Do you think he might miss me? Do you think he thinks about me? Of course I cried a couple times after that night because I was so sad because I liked him so much and I told myself I will never sleep with a coworker again. But I’m curious about his thoughts on me right now. It kind of affected my self-esteem because people have told me that I’m too pretty for him and then I can do way better. So why a good-looking girl I need be rejected by someone who isn’t even im my league. I found out that him and this girl that he relinked up with used to talk and then they just suddenly stop talking. Why she more interesting than I am? Why did I lose at this fight? And do you think I could ever get a chance of this again? Of course if I did I’d reject him as quickly as possible but I’m just curious right now
Well, I was in a relationship with my ex for about nine to ten months. It was almost a year before he broke up with me back in August. After he broke up with me, he initiated contact for a while but in day two of that, I snapped and wrote a long emotional message about how I felt for him when he asked if I wanted him to leave. He hasn’t deleted me off any social media site nor has he stopped using my Netflix account but the Netflix thing could simply be freeloading. I’m wondering if I should cancel that soon or change my info because he does still use it. And also, he didn’t give an exact reason for the breakup. He lied and said he was feeling suicidal and wanted to hurt himself and told me not to contact him. I showed up at his house the next day only to find out he wasn’t even at home the night before, he had gone to stay at his friend’s house in another town the day before he was supposed to come and see me. After he found out I was there, all he did was call me clingy. Then when a friend of his mom’s asked him, he said I was a psycho (I don’t believe he really meant that) and that I was too clingy. I wasn’t even being that clingy in our relationship honestly, I double or triple texted at most and all I would honestly ask was that he make time for me. I have a lot of time, effort and money into the relationship and it’s been a month and three weeks today but I’m still in love. Next week, it will be a month that I don’t contact him. I’m planning on reaching out again. The last conversation we had with each other was actually civil, about what I said in a long voicemail after I came back into town from a trip to New York. He also views my stories in snapchat which isn’t any indication that he misses me but at least he does want to see what or how I’m doing. I was a text gnat after we broke up and I pestered him with affectionate texts but I stopped once he hadn’t replied to one text where I apologized for what his mom’s friend said to him about me (she told him he was an idiot and I was an amazing person) and when I officially realized that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I think maybe he just lost attraction but I do want him to want me back. I’ve improved myself during this silent period and I don’t feel as needy or insecure as before. I go to the gym now and I have a better attitude and I’ve surrounded myself with good people. We had broken up once before but for back together within two days because he missed me and there was more good than bad in our relationship. There still is but there was just a lot of insecurity in both our parts. The mistake we made when we got back together was picking up where we left off. If I am able to get him back, I would want him and I to start anew. To have a fresh relationship. He hasn’t tried making contact during this time but I still want to reach out. I won’t beg for him back but just initiate a false friendship with the goal of meeting up. He told the friend that he never loved me but I know that I set the standards high in our relationship and that he could love me if we had a fresh start. How do I do that? Do I still have a chance with him? His birthday is in the end of November and I realistically want to be in a relationship with him or on the verge of one by that time. I know how I have to talk to him or what I can say. I just want to know if it’s worth my time or if I should simply move on. He doesn’t seem to want to cut me out of his life completely nor I him. Could be because of Netflix but still. Since I’m a changed person, there are many more possibilities. I’m still in love with him but I know I don’t need him in my life to be happy, I just want him to stay a part of it. Good advice would be appreciated, please.
I need help here my fiancée and bf of 5 years just broke up with me. We have three kids together and even though we had a healthy relationship we would argue pretty often. Anyway 3 weeks ago he came and told me that he didn’t love me anymore that he wasn’t happy and that he was leaving. After that he didn’t leave my house for another week before he left he had decided to try it again while trying to make things better he just said it wasn’t working, he didn’t want to try and left. I was left very hurt I started messaging him and asking him to think things thru. As of today he keeps telling me that he doesn’t want to come back that he is better off where he is at. I feel so hurt and confused since a month ago everything was fine I had hurt my foot and he was there the whole time taking care of me. Now I am so confused. I looked at his fb and he has been messaging someone from his work. He tells her he wants to get to know her and I think theyre going out on a date this weekend. I am left so sad and speechless since I really didn’t see this coming at all. what should I do? do I give up on him and just move on? should I keep trying to make him understand how much his kids need him here…. I am so depressed I have lost so much weight. how can he move on just like that? will he come back or does it sound to you guys like hes gone for good???? help!!
Hi,i need help i ws in a relationship with a guy i really love so much for a year nd now months evrythn was goin wel..b4 i founded out dat he ws cheatn me wth my friend nd i 4gave him…we moved on nd suddenly 2weeks ago he broke up with me sayn he ws cheating with his cousen and when he try to broke up with her she says dat she wil write a lettr of why she killed herself..and it wil be because of him so he says he still care about me but he cant broke up with his cousen..i really love this guy nd wnt to be with him i jst stoped chatting nd contracting him…will he want me back please help me i cant even sleep
So I have been in a relationship with this guy for 1 year. This guy has ocd and he is also bipolar. Our relationship was great and we had so much fun together. Occasionally we would have our arguments but we would get over them within a few hours. About 5 months into the relationship he lost trust in me because I was texting a guy I had been good friends with for awhile and he didn’t want me talking to him. After all of that our relationship was stronger and we realized how much we cared about each other. So I started to care about who he was talking to. He started working and he worked with a girl he wanted to be in a relationship with before he started dating me. One day I decided to ask him if they text and he said yes. I was really upset and scared. He told me not to worry and that they are just friends. Eventually I couldn’t take it. So I told the girl to back off. He understood why I flipped out though. On thanksgiving it was his birthday and our 1 year. He brought me flowers and I gave him his presents and stuff. The day was great and meant so much to me. Two days later he was out with his friends and his friend has a sister that constantly messages and tries to make me jealous when she is with him. So I called her and flipped out at her while he was with her and his friends. Then he didn’t talk to me for two days. He messaged me at like midnight saying, ” I don’t think we should be together anymore. I just haven’t been happy and I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. I hope you understand.” He also told me that he still loves me and cares about me. It was very upsetting for me because it had just been our one year and everything was fine other than me freaking out on some girl. I thought he would understand why I flipped out though. You need to know that he is currently not doing well in college, wants to get a job, has family issues, and his dad is not in the picture. He also gets stressed out very easily and freaks out when things do not go his way. I want to believe that he just has so much going on and the relationship was too much for him at the moment. I want him to come back because I miss him so much. I haven’t talked to him for about 3 days. I have talked to his mom and she said she tried talking to him about what happened but he doesn’t say anything. I just wanted to know if he is going to come back. I know that isn’t a great question but I just want to see what others think. People keep telling me he will come back but I don’t want to get my hopes up and wait forever. I just never been so happy and comfortable with someone before. I can’t see him just leaving me because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
Hi 🙂 .. I’m 18 .
I’m in a complicated path of my life even after having the truth infront of my eyes. I had a Good relationship with my Ex. but all of sudden it ended because of my family . My family would create the worse mess if he would have still been around me or in link with me. For my happiness he left me . He cut off with evry single thng . It’s been around 8months no talk no nothing and for dyamn sure he might have moved on in his life. Cannot say about relationship with anyother, but in Life he might have. For me i tried millions of times & it has become the weakest point of mine . I’m unable to move on ! i just cannot get over him.. i donot know why. i keep on feeling that he might return back . he might miss me . he might yet have a lil feeling for me. Everyone says I’m wrong at dese points but my heart my mind doesn’t accept . my condition is like even if he returns as a friend i wouldn’t have any prblem i just need him in my life & which would never happen :’) .. what should i do ;(
what else way is dr to move on. it’s gettin hard for me day by day . Would he still b feelin for me ? ..
Me and my ex were together for about a year and a half but had known each other for about two years. We had a lot of ups and downs, broke up a couple times here and there but always ended up back together. This past time he had been complaining about always fighting, and wanted to break up. But as he was trying to break up with me I found out that his bestfriend had been trying to hook him up with a girl, that I now think my ex was interested in. I had given it a lot of thought, I thought that maybe we could work things out if our only problem was fighting but he didn’t think so. He gave up. and I’m still hoping we can get back together, but I don’t even know if I should take him back. I don’t know if he broke up with me because of all the fighting or for the new girl. or if all the fighting pushed him to the new girl. I want to be with him, but how can I if it’s possible that he left me for another girl? I think that he’ll get over me with the help of the new girl but everyone says that he’ll be back because he always comes back. but how can I take him back if theres a chance that he left me for that girl. Idk if it would be a good or bad thing if he came back to me. like she didn’t work out so he’s back to me, or maybe she wasn’t enough so he’s back to me. I’m just so confused.
I just got out of a 2 month relationship 3 months ago in September. It was to due to trust issues and he saw a text message from my other ex thinking I was cheating on him when I wasn’t because my ex kept texting me and he was trying to get me back. The first time we broke up with my current ex from 3 months ago was because I was texting my guy friends and it wasn’t even like that because I have a lot of friends. He didn’t understand that, at all and we had jealously problems. When we first started dating we only knew each other through a friend and only a month. We started to like each other and we became a thing. I kinda want another chance with my ex boyfriend because when we went out I just got out of a 1 year and 4 month relationship with my other ex broke up due to cheating and trust issues. I kind of wanted to tell him that I think I need another chance because I wasn’t really ready at that time because I was still getting over my long relationship. And I really miss my current ex boyfriend a lot please help me
Now So my ex been giving mean looks and stares at my guy friend Brian ( I’m his cousins sponsor for he confirmation and she’s my assistant for CCD) My ex been doing that ever since he saw my friend and I talking just as frienThen he gives my guy friend ugly looks when I’m not around and walked up and down the hallway when my guy friend and I talking
This is what happened between my ex & I. We dated from August 2014 until November this year. 15 months on & off, mostly on. Usually I’m the one that dumps him in the heat of the moment but this time he didn’t want to get back with me.
7th of November, we had an argument over the phone & I ended it. He said he ended it this time & I regretted dumping him but he wouldn’t take me back. At the end of the phone call I suggested we have a break & try once more, then if it didn’t work we part ways but he said its over for good. That night I spoke to him & he said he may have regretted breaking up & asked if we could talk, I said yes but I didn’t want to fight & he didn’t say much so I didn’t respond & applied the no contact rule.
He messaged me on the 11th of November to see how I was & I didn’t reply due to the no contact rule.
He messaged me again on the 13th & I couldn’t help myself, spoke to him, ended up on the phone to him crying & saying I wanted to be together again. I asked him if we were over forever & he said he didn’t know.
I applied the no contact rule again & lasted until the 24th of November & he messaged me to see how I was going, I responded thinking he wanted to work things out. I invited him over & he came over on the 26th of November and we had s**. After we were finished he asked me where we were going from here & asked him if there was anything I could do to fix this. He said not really “we can wait 6 months & see where we are at then”. That night he messaged me & asked if we could be f*** buddies & of course I didn’t decline. He came over again on the 28th of November, the 2nd of December & we had s** again both times. Then last time we did it I got upset & said I just wanted to work things out, he said it wasn’t that simple. He messaged me on the 5th of December & said maybe its best if we aren’t friends & he’s out of my life because it only upsets me & I won’t move on with him around. I disagreed & we spoke a bit about it & mid conversation he said he had to go & we’ll speak later. On the 8th of December he messaged me & acted like nothing had happened. I told him we ought to cut contact as I can’t have somebody in my life who doesn’t care whether they are in it or not & he insisted on being friends, so I agreed as long as he’s in it for good & he said yes. We spoke every couple of days following & on the 18th of December he came around & we had s** again. After that I decided I was going to cut off all ties with him because it was too much of a stuff around. He come over on the 22nd of December & I gave him 2 options, 1) we work through our issues & get back together or 2) we cut off all communication for good. I told the guy I love him & adore him, etc but this whole friend thing isn’t working out for me. I can’t move on with him in the picture. He said it wasn’t as simple as getting back together so if I feel we need to stay out of each others lives then he will have to deal with it. He said that in his eyes I’m still his best friend but after that night I guess not. I told him before he left that if he changes his mind then to give me a call, but he said he wasn’t going to change his mind. As he left he walked down the drive way & sort of stopped & hesitated leaving & then kept walking. It was like he thought he may have been making a mistake. We haven’t spoken since that night (over a week now) when I messaged him afterwards and wished him all the best of luck and thanked him for everything, he did the same back. I was wondering if there was any chance he could start to miss me in the coming weeks & maybe even want to get back together later on? Is this possible? Besides the arguing we had a really good relationship, we have lots of good memories, were extremely close & so in love at one point. We’ve been good friends since we met 5 years ago & its just so sad to see something so special go to waste.
Maybe someone can help me figure this out. We’ve been married 6 years and together 10 years. Shortly, before our wedding anniversary he tells me he is unhappy with our marriage. We fought off and on for the next few months. He was absolutely vile to me during this time with insults and ignoring me. Then on Xmas eve when I’m upset about my mom being in the hospital, he tells me he doesn’t love me anymore and he’s leaving.
Now ever since the beginning of this year, 2016, he is being so very nice to me, reminiscing about old times, engaging me in conversation, actually listening and remembering what I had to say. In my mind, I have accepted that he wants out and have started exercising and pursuing things I want to do in life and now all of sudden he is being extra nice to me?
Anyone have any idea what is going on?
Hello to all,I am hoping to gain some perspective and insight into a baffling situation for me…here goes:
I met a wonderful man at the end of July 2015. He was sweet kind and had a gentle strength about him which I could only compare with my father. He seemed stable and grounded and expressed himself effortlessly.He pursed me for about 2 weeks until I agreed to meet for dinner. Our first date was fantastic and short which led to a second…third. We were crazy about each other. Absent was any of the anxiety or doubts in previous beginnings we had each experienced. We decided to focus solely on each other within the first month. He was soft spoken and a true gentleman and our romance blossomed effortlessly. By September he had professed his love,I had been introduced to family and close friends and he, mine. Everyone seemed overjoyed with our union, his father hugged me one day with tears in his eyes thanking me for making his boy so happy, as he had never seen him so smitten. Things progressed, we shared, we laughed we cried, we played…it was nothing short of amazing. He began to speak of moving in together, in his home, come October. I felt it was a bit to soon yet to make that commitment[he lived an hour from my home] considering all of my obligations atm tied to my current location[mostly work related] but said we could discuss that further down the road. he began to talk marriage, and wanted to take me looking for rings so that he could get an idea of what I liked when the time presented itself. I became closer and closer with him and his family and eventually talk turned to the future and with moving down by his parents to eventually take over the family businesses. All well and good, we were making a plan about our collective future, he wanted to go look at some real estate down there and wanted my input, wanted me to go look at properties with him. It was always we/us….was I dreaming? it was too good to be true.We only had 2 misunderstandings…this is where it gets fuzzy. The first one was nothing by any means, he did something that left me a little butt-hurt and i told him quite simply it was a crappy thing to do, not raising my voice, but sounding a little miffed.Well, he ran from me..literally locked himself in the bathroom and was afraid to come out[granted, a bit too much wine was involved this evening, so i chalked it up to that really..] when I was finally able to convince him to come out, it was obvious he was terrified. upon speaking about it, I found out the kind of women he had come accustomed to dealing with..violent shrews who caught him in a chokehold,women who screams,threw and broke glasses struck him…how horrible.
He had expected this of me…simply because he felt he had disappointed me, and this caused him to shut down and retreat. this happened on another occasion when he needed some alone time, and instead of just telling me,he shut down completely. This time I was a bit more cautious about my return when he came to me the next day remorseful and broken, saying that he knew he needed to learn how to handle things differently and that I was an amazing woman, so patient and kind, and that he appreciated every gentle aspect of my compassion. When I went to him, he played the song”The sweetest thing Ive ever known is loving you” and we danced, and wept in each others arms for what seemed like an eternity..it was beautiful beyond compare…my love had returned.This was right before Thanksgiving. We had a wonderful holiday season, Thanksgiving with his family, 2 Christmases,one with each family it was amazing…we had so much fun and I felt like part of his family. for my birthday[just before xmas] he presented me with a ring that he had made himself, made from an old sterling silver quarter. He had spent the last 4 months and countless hours flattening it out using a spoon to widen the edge, drilling out the middle rounding the edges and polishing it. I was floored! he also bought me about $500 in snowmobile gear and been hard at work fixing up one of his sleds for me to learn how to ride on! We spent New years with his family at their suggestion…they really enjoyed having us both around. The weekend after new years, he wanted to talk about our future one night, saying he saw us together for the long run and suggested we begin to think about having a serious discussion with his parents about their expectations of us taking over the businesses, as his dad had been throwing remarks out, but there had yet to be any real talk, and he felt the time had come. I agreed.Now granted, by the end of the holidays, i myself had been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of our together time, [spending an average of 4-5 days together instead of our normal 2-3] and had done an awful lot of socializing…i was ready for a little “me time” during the upcoming week.I could tell he was ready to decompress too, and sensed there might be a bit of a shut down as he got some much needed time for himself as well[hes the type that needs a little more man-cave time in order to feel as if his freedom isnt being compromised] We made love on sunday night, we shared some coffee and some time monday morning before he left for work, he kissed me sweetly,told me he loved me and left.
We chatted through out the day ending with our normal goodnights.
Tuesday morning I awoke to a “good morning sunshine!” text and we chatted through the day as usual. THEN>>>>
Right around 3pm we began chatting about his wonderful meatloaf[I had taken a piece home with me and had enjoyed it after my gym session] to which he replied:
YUM!!!!![5 smilies] yes its sooo good!!!
…and then he disappeared.
Normally if his work day got busy, he would contact me when he got home and settled in. Not this time.
Crickets.
wednesday came and went…then thursday…. I reached out sensing he may have been doing his shut down thing with a friendly”hey! hows everything going?”
Nada.
friday comes and goes….i send a quirky” hey,are you camping?”[because all I hear are crickets*chirp-chirp*]
Silence.
Saturday, becoming concerned, I contact his father to see if he has heard anything from him, and explain the situation. He is baffled as well, and says he will reach out to him and get back to me….i just want to know hes ok.
5 hours later, I reach out to him again..”anything?”
2 hours later, my beloved sends this message:” i appreciate your concerns and Im sorry ive been so quiet.I am fine and just taking some time for myself. i dont expect you to sit and worry or wait around, dad is sorry he forgot to text back but wants you to know im ok’
W.T.F
So business like?
i say,” i understand, thank you for letting me know. I figure he is just spending time with his father[which his previous SO’s never allowed him to do, but I encouraged it, because they are trying to rebuild their relationship]
Figured I would hear from him by Monday.
Nope, nothing further Monday night, i sent a message asking how much snow he had gotten and asking if the yellow sled was ready to take for a spin, wooohooo!ready to try out all my new gear!:)
no reply…
until I awake Tuesday
When I get a text saying hes sorry he hasnt spoken in so long, he figured i wouldve known based on his last message[HUH???]Thers no easy way to say it, and its not fair to leave me hanging…” Im not ready for the seriousness you deserve.I dont want to let you down.youre a great person and deserve alot better than me’
he doesnt want to talk.hes had alot of time to think and feels its best to say this now rather than risk more than we already have.I shouldnt blame myself.its not fair to me that he keeps shutting down and he has his own issues to work on, and hes taking time to think about his life and where hes going and he prefers to do this on his own He has packed all of my belongings and put them on the back porch its nothing personal. it isnt fair if he cant give his wholehearted all to a relationship, he hopes i understand.
then silence.
I went down that night in a blizzard to collect my things while he was at work and ended up getting stuck in his driveway. he ignored my messages explaining what happened and my need for assistance
How did my love go from a mushy love filled puffball to a stone cold ass in the flip of a switch??? Seriousness I deserve? He was the one who always initiated all of our”seriousness talks”… if anything, i followed his lead and tapped the brakes occasionally…can ANYONE please offer any insight into wtf just happened to all my dreams??[him 40yo, me 44]
No offense but he’s probably not available emotionally or that interested. You all were moving way too fast and maybe he realized he wasn’t that into you or he’s immature. At first he was into it because you were different from his last relationships but then he realized when he got in the relationship he wasn’t all that into you. Yes this happens a lot and I’ve experienced this too.
Also you mentioned that he’s 40 and you’re 44. Does he have kids or want them? Do you? I hate to say it but maybe he was thinking he wanted someone younger to have kids with. Harsh but it’s plausible . In any event would you want someone like that who just bails? He frankly doesn’t sound like husband material and acts that immature. Find someone better and take your time.
yes, I’ve known that type of man. They’re all excited at the beginning – making you feel ‘you’re the one’. Then months down the road, he changes. When I was young, and sex occurred too soon (within 2 months), yeah, the guy would bail within a year. Now, that I’m older, you can’t even make out with a man too soon, b/c it’s like he knows what will eventually happen, and he bails before anything further happens. It’s like they’re scared of anything serious too soon. Men are impossible. I say to Hell with them. Ladies, get yourself a Dog. It won’t leave you at least.
Why would a guy talk about settling down and having children with me, just to get mad at me over nothing and tell me that he needs space? Why would someone do that? I never pushed marriage or children or anything but just being friends with benefits. He always brought that up. And now its over and I don’t understand. Please help me.
Because he’s not serious and may be emotionally unstable. Run. Dealing with flaky relationships and men will make you crazy. Find someone more solid and stable.
My husband left again for the last time on december 7, 2015. We have been married for 28 years. He left for another woman, the third since 1996 that I know of, but it’s very painful. We have two children 27 and 25 yrs old and a grandson who is 7. Our life was never stable because of his affairs. I just wanted to believe that he would never do it again. He did and every time he left it was without warning. I never want to feel that feeling of wondering when or if he’ll leave when I walk out the door to go to work. But still i was ready for a better life with him despite all this, until i cried out and a friend directed me to a man called Dr Amigo the online spell caster, with full expectation i wrote to him on his email and explain everything to him, within a period of 7days he performed a greater work, my husband is back to the real man i got married to 28years ago. for any kind of relationship help reach out to him now on the internet. Type “Dr Amigo the online love spell caster” on Google to see people talked about his good works and sincerity
I need someone to help me. A guy perferably . I was in a relationship with my ex for 2 years. We just had a baby 9 months ago. One day he just up and left. We were arguing and he left and went to his moms. And I found out 2 days later he was talking to someone and found out on Facebook that he is now engaged to his ex girlfriend. I just Don understand why his decision was with her. He’s been on and off with her for years as well. She treated him so badly, he was miserable with her. He told me all about what ses done, she even put her hands on him. I’m not sure if he truely loves her regardless or it it’s a mask. Or if he’s just with her cause since he left me there is no one else to with. I just don’t understand what this means. He hasn’t been around fr his son or seen his son in week’s. Why did he move on so quickly and with her? I feel like this was maybe planned to bring her down and leave me and our son and propose to her. He hasn’t had any contact with her in years. Can someone tell me what seems to be going on here. I’m so torn and my mind is racing. Why is he doing this. Why did he get back with her. Did he do all this cause of maybe something I did. Is he just not happy with me anymore. And will the misery that he had with her eventually happen again. Like will they both pick back up on their fighting?
Hi, My boyfriend and I met in med school 5 years ago. We are back together now, but we broke up for a brief time about 2 years into dating. Im still having trouble letting go of what happened and I cant really figure out why. After 2 years of dating and him telling me he wanted to marry me and have kids with me (he initiated that conversation), he randomly started texting a girl in our class. He had talked about this girl many times and even defended her when some of our mutual friends had told him some stories about her being horrible to other people. They kept texting and flirting and he kept asking her personal questions. He deleted all the texts but told me about the conversations he was having, I just brushed it off thinking it was nothing. Until it finally started bothering me and so i asked him to stop. But he just couldn’t and so he texted her again. She randomly then asked him to leave her alone, after which they stopped talking. We got into a huge fight which led to the break up. He said he needed to figure things out etc. So i left him alone. Within a day he told all our mutual friends and even told them that he didn’t need me and that he could get whomever he wanted. Then slowly over the next week he asked a friend to ask me to text him which I did and it somehow led to us getting back together. After the week he says he realized he wants to be with me and we got back together. The very few times we have talked about it he says he was just unsure if he wanted to settle down and that it wasn’t about the other girl. We were in school and stressed and tired and he said it got to him. Anytime I bring it up he gets upset and defensive and refuses to talk about what happened. We have been together for 3 years since and its getting to the point where he wants to propose soon, but I just cant wrap my head around what happened 3 years ago that lead to that. He has barely given me any explanation. Hes been great since, back to the way he always was I just dont know what happened that day… Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!
Hello. I would also like some advice. I am 29, he is 33, we met and fell so in love, crazy, passionate amazing love. We were together for 6 months then he got offered a job in another town and asked me to join him, I did and the move was very stressful for me as I was going to a new place, having to find a new jib which I did and just setting in general, this caused some issues. We ended up living and working together which was not a good idea, our conversations became fewer, he felt like I never loved him and was very often saying nasty things to me like I dont love him and I don’t care and trying to dictate to me how I feel even when I never felt that way, we had a huge fight then things seemed fine all lovey dovey I want to marry you kinda thing. Then he just came home one night and broke up with me, he said it is because he loves me but he is not inlove with me and does not see me in his future. He is now trying to make me jealous and act like everything is fine when I am dying. Then he said to me last night that he is so sorry for how he has hurt me, I am moving back to my home town and it is killing him, he said now that he still is in love with me and does not want me to leave and said that his mind is just in a bad place because he akways thought negative about me, when I did nothing to make him think so, he just made up horrible stories in his head about me and I dont know why. He said he wants to be my friend and see me but I feel that I just can’t be his friend, I just love him too much and it would kill me to just be friends. He said there is no hope of us getting back together but in my heart I do not believe this. He insists that I deserve better and says this breakup is killing him and I can see it is, he has started drinking more and he is also not eating or sleeping. I don’t want to hold onto hope but I can’t even look at another man.
I had a relationship of 5 years, and this january he cheated me and started a new relationship with a new girl in his faculty.
He shows me that he hates me, but before he leave he said no one will love him as much as i did.Somehow he shows up that he is happy with the new woman and he doesnt remember me at all.people say the new girl is not as pretty as me . but she is there with him cz she is in his university too.
I’m going through a hell with 5 years of memories and flashbacks.
I have helped him through his exams sacrificing my exams.
but he stays as he never remembers me. we have made a lot of memories. love, sex both.
he and i are in same age 23 now.
does he miss me too but doesnt show?
what should I do? and will he come back ever?
He probably misses you but he’s a cheater. Why would you even want him back? Hell cheat on you again. Find someone who values loyalty and commitment and let him reap the karma he will sow
me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it’s impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he’s there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn’t. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don’t know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful.
I’ve been with my boyfriend since october 2013. We reached our one year anniversary in October 2014 and we later broke up in March of 2015. Things weren’t working out and he was being completely mean to me and I just noticed he didn’t want to be with me so we ended it. At first I was so devasted and heartbroken. I cried so much all the time but I started a new job and that kept my mind off of it. I also met someone at my new work and I started seeing him but I always thought about my ex boyfriend. I didn’t contact him for 7 months when he one day out of no where he texted me saying how I was doing? And we got together and grabbed some food and he told me he missed me and he wanted me back. I told him there were a lot of things we had to figure out but I was willing to work things out with him if he was. So we got back together in October 2015. He enlisted in the army in December and ended up leaving to boot camp the end of January in 2016. Before he left we decided to break up because thing we’re going to be hard on us and it was better to just focus on ourselves and if somehow we ended up together again the we would be. When he left he sent me a message saying that he loved me and that he wanted to write throughout the process and that his first letter was going to be to me and I said of course I would write back. So throughout him being in boot camp he wrote really cute genuine things. Like I want to marry you and have kids with you. I want you to come live with me and just things you don’t say just to say them. He would write me little poems and say he missed me so much and he couldn’t wait to hold me in his arms. In March he called me and told me he was coming home on a 6 month probation period and that he was so excited to be home. On Easter weekend he had his phone for the weekend and we would talk but texting him never felt right. (Texting is very boring to me). So on Easter Sunday he called me and told me that when he was coming home he was leaving to a mission trip and I got really bummed out because I felt like he was coming home and leaving again. I got really sad so I told him I would talk to me later and he later texted me back and asked if I was mad and I said no I was just disappointed that he was coming home because him leaving to the army was a way for us to start a life together and that I wanted a real commitment and he would say things like I’m not ready to settle down but I’m down to move in with you so I was very confused and I didn’t reply. I didn’t talk to him for a month but I wrote to him he just didn’t receive any letters. I texted him mid April and told him to hurry home and last Wednesday he texted me saying he was going to be home the next day. I asked if he wanted me to pick him up and he said no he was staying in a LA with a friend. I didn’t make much of it until he didn’t reply. The next day I texted him and didn’t reply and then I texted him again asking if he was okay. That if he was mad at me that he should tell me. I hair wanted to know what was going on. He told me he didn’t want to string me along and he wasn’t feeling it. Pretty much broke up with me over text message. I was so confused and hurt. I texted him asking why. And he said we were growing apart and we’re going to continue growing apart. And I said that I hadn’t seen him in months that of course we were growing apart. I asked him to meet me so we could talk in person and he kept saying no. That he didn’t love me anymore. To move on, he told me everything he wrote to me was a lie and that he never took any of that seriously because we would be horrible parents together. He’s words hurt so much I couldn’t keep my tears in. He said maybe we would see each other over the weekend. On Friday one of my friends texted me and said he was out with his friends drinking and I got really sad because his friends were more important to him than to see me. Sunday cam by and I texted him to see if we could talk and he said he was busy all day. I asked for an hour and he said maybe and I waited all day for him and he didn’t text me so I texted him saying I just wanted an hour because the least I deserved was an explanation on why he broke up with me over text. This week I texted him Thursday and called him and he answered and said he didn’t want to see me to stop and so he hung up. I went to school an hour later he texted me and said he wanted to meet up and then called me and said he wanted to meet up and I said I was at school and that later tonight we could talk he told me dinner time and texted me saying he was sorry for being a dick but that he wanted to put this behind us and he would pick me up. He ended up picking me up at 4pm and was being so mean saying he didn’t want to see me and to tell him what I wanted. I told him that I wasn’t going to beg for him but I wanted to know that if everything he said was true and he said that he didn’t miss me while he was at boot camp that he didn’t love me. He didn’t want a relationship. And that we couldn’t see or talk to each other. He would look at me and I could tell he still loves me but I let him know I loved him still and hopefully we could be together again and he said he was never going to be with me again and that I was boring and that he was into partying now. And I was just so sad to see that the person I loved had changed. He ended up driving me home and would laugh at stuff I would say and I got really upset and ended up cussing him out which I never did. He made it seem like he was better than me and I was so sad that 3 years of being in love with someone would turn to this. Is there any way that hes going to come back? Or is it really over this time?
My bf left me for another girl and then after some days he came back and regrets. Does he seriously love me???
Hi, You can give him a second chance but where is his commitment? I would suggest he may well try it again if he thought it was ok the first time..
Been with him for 2.5 years. Not long but neither it’s short enough to not make me feel a thing. I’ve initiated to part this relationship around 7/8 months into the relationship back then. It was for similar reasons revolving around his future plans and having his own ambition/ goals at the very least.
We got back the other time for his promise to start working on his future and of course, as the goes, i did see his effort but it didn’t perserve long each time and it disappoint me for i feel that it’s fundamental for a man to have a goal in life and work hard for his/ our future. He’s 8 years older and despite of our earning disparity, it was never my concern. As i’ve always told him, it’s not about how much you’re earning, as long as you’re earning every dollar and cents through your own hands and effort.
Can I say he loves me, Yes or least least most of our journey together, it was pleasant and i feel his love and care. The only hurdle that I can’t cross over is his broken promise to not be down to earth enough to work hard and have a plan for our future.
I ever asked him, are you serious about this relationship and have you ever considered moving this relationship to the next level. He said yes but no children as he don’t think he could afford a family with children. Of course, that was not what I would desire. I would love to build a family of our own but at least I know it wasn’t because he doesn’t want but he wasn’t sure if he could afford one.
I’m always having this internal struggle within myself. There’s nothing about not sure, if you want to, you make do it with and work your way out be it spending lesser or work harder.
Lately, it really got into my nerves for his failed promise to stop soccer betting. He strongly believes that he has profound knowledge and analysis about it and is not willing to give up despite the numerous failure. He feels that this is his only way to make more money which i disagree. All i want him is to be practical enough and work hard through your own hands not the easy way out. Of course, he bet within his limits but i really dislike the behavior and mentality.
It came to a point that I feel that he has chosen soccer betting over this relationship. For what he said, nothing can stop me. It broke my heart and for a moment, i really feel that I do not see a future with him. I did not initiate a break up but i ranted all my feelings and disappointment in him. Knowing him, he will not reply to those and true enough, that became our last message – 1.5 wks ago.
He knows what i’ve always been wanting and he ever did mention that he can’t provide me anything better than what he has and might be better for him to leave him. I don’t know if that’s what on his mind now because it pisses me off – it was never about how luxury you can provide for me but have you worked hard enough? That’s all that matters.
There hasn’t been a time we leave unspoken for more than 2 days even after a big quarrel but that was many months ago. It feels like he is letting go this relationship as what i thought i would when i clicked on “send” button with all my feelings and disappointment.
I’m still struggling in my mind i guess i’ve not adjusted to the ultimate outcome i want – do i want to pursue this relationship or letting it go but i’m wondering if he has decided to let this go.
I login-ed to his email and just last night, i saw that he was on a dating app and sending out messages to girls. It really broke my heart to see them. Has it moved on. Is he letting go? It’s been only 1.5 wks. How can he get over that quickly?
I’m confused. There are little things that I see and makes me wonder. He kept all my emails and deleted all others. He probably still has my personal belonging at his place etc. Are these signs that he still misses our relationship or he just didn’t bother to do anything about it? Or his heart is in this relationship but is letting me go for something better as how he always feels.
I don’t know what i should do. I love him but the truth is, love is not the only thing we survived on. There needs to be bigger plans around it for our future which is what is has been lacking.
Anyone can share and enlighten me pls?
Any insight would be helpful.
I was together with my boyfriend for 3 long serious years. (He just turned 26, and I’m 27 turning 28). We were both each others’ longest relationship. We have perfect chemistry, we are completely comfortable with each other, same sense of humour, and simply just being happy with each other’s existence. I could say I love him more and more everyday throughout 3 years. What we had was really special. There are no cheating, no trust issues, no family problems involved. His family loves me, often tell me how they had never seen him treated a girl so special before. I get along with his friends and coworkers too, even his EX GIRLFRIENDS would often say “I am very glad he is dating a girl like her. I’ve never seen him so serious for a girl before”.
He broke up with me 2 months ago. To me it really was out of the blue, not hints were being dropped. In fact, an hour before the broke up, I was still having a happy dinner with his whole family. I understand a lot of people mentioned about the Grass is Greener Syndrome, since it had been a 3 years relationship, that or maybe he is going through a quarter-life crisis as a man, trying to figure out life and career and so forth.
Right after breaking up, within just weeks, he had been flirting and seeing new girls already, and even tried to introduce a new girl he is seeing to our mutual friend group…I can’t be helped but to think he’s trying to find someone to replace me. “Does our 3 years of relationship mean nothing to him?” I’ve asked myself this so many times. I’ve tried 30 days of no contact, and attempted to text him once after that but no reply. So heart breaking, but deep down I know he’s the one, so I’m just going to respect him and give him the time and space he needs right now.
Hi, I’m sorry to hear your story. It sound like you feel as though the connection was very strong. I think your current actions are correct, there is little point in trying to connect with him if he is UN-responsive. What can you do? Remain positive, show him what he is missing but subtly, don’t try hard or flaunt it. Set an intention to be the best woman that you can be a be and work towards self development as it shows the man what he is missing. Men generally like a confident woman. If he does make an approach, make sure you dont fall into his arms, ask why he left, you need to understand what he is thinking. If he doesn’t come back, its because it wasn’t meant to be and it likely you will know why over time and perhaps even look back at your current circumstances and see it as a positive outcome…Your only young.
Thank you : ) I’m gonna remain positive and confident. if I could get him once, I can get him twice. Just gotta work on self improvement and being a fantastic, gorgeous, independent and confident woman lol I’ll write my success story again in here after we get back together!
Thanks for your feedback! See ya! Have a wonderful day! : )
Ok so me and my boyfriend were together for 4 years and living together for 3 years. We were very cominted in our relationship. We got the red string tattoo on our pinky (his only tattoo), talked about marriage a family and saying we love each other everyday. We had up and downs but we were fine and there for each other. Then he was working nights an I was going to school we couldn’t be there for each other very much and I got depressed. And during this our married roommates took a break for a month and it was very depressing. They got back together but a week later I come to my boyfriend talking about his brother moving in and how me and my roommates feel about it not being mean and saying something about marriage cause I was bridesmaid dress shopping for my best friend wedding and he just flipped a switch. He started saying he doesn’t know how he feels about me and he doesn’t think it’s fair to give me 80 percent and I’m giving him 100 and other there’s. Je said he doesnt know what he wants, he just wants to be alone and have all options open. He said maybe he needs to see other ppl to realize he wants to be with me or just needs space. He was understand I had a lot to pack and my parents didn’t have room for me so it would take me a week to get my stuff out but I couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him so I packed all my stuff when he went to his mom’s and I’m staying at my parents. My things are in the back roon at his house. We haven’t had one day where we don’t see each other or text. If I don’t text hI’m he will text, call, message me everywhere to get in contact with me. He texts me how am i feeling or am i ok or what am i doing? 4 night after the break up he left work cause he could handle every thing and called me crying saying he never meant to hurt me or do any of this. But i know he has been talking to another girl he works with cause he tells a lot still. They hung out and he still claims they are just friend and being there for each other. I got really mad cause it was 5 days after we broke up, after being in a relationship for 4 years. I told him it’s wrong, disrespectful to me and it’s funny how he can’t be alone and thinks he can replace me. I step back and was like no I’m not talking to her like that I swear and they have barely text and haven’t hung out since. Its been a week and a half now, I had to go over there and get my stuff. My room mate told him I was coming and didn’t want to see or talk to him. He called me sad and said I dont want you to not want to be around me I would like the company. So when I was over there I just walked in and out but he stopped me and asked if I wanted food so I agreed and made a comment that me and my mom made. She said if I cut him off (not completely) if will buy my a car. And he instantly got all depressed and kept being it up the whole time we were out. The first thing he said was what if we get back together. We were best friend in our relationship. We had everything in common and I mean everything. I thought we were soulmate cause we were so alike. We loved each other. I’m not delusional. A week before the break up he got me flower and a card saying ” I know we got there rocky times but we will always get there it. I know I will spent the rest of my life with you and you are my soul mate.” So how can he flip a switch like that? He looks like he is regretting it. He is not acting himself. What is your opinion?
It looks as though things are moving pretty quick. To be honest I would just suggest sitting back and allowing yourself and your partner to digest what you both want.. Take a breather, give yourself some room to see the relationship for what it is..
Hi Everyone
I am Sharon(19 years old). I am a student from a Wits. I dated a guy who is 19 years.We are attending at the same university. We started dating in 2013. The guy just told he doesn’t love me anymore. I gave him my all and I still care about him. At first he couldn’t tell me that he’s not interested. He said that he’d fix this,but not knowing how. I need your advics
Hi Sharon, Did he give you anymore explaination as to why he doesnt love you anymore? HAs he got another girlfriend ?
Sometimes hanging onto a relationship that one partner does not hold dear, can only lead to heartache.
Perhaps read this, https://mrperspective.com/he-needs-space/ You might need to give him some space to think, and also yourself…
My boyfriend of 6 1/2 years broke up with me completely out of the blue. Just before that, he would tell me how much he loved me, how he could never lose me, and how I was the only one to understand him. When he left me, he said that he doesn’t know what he wants and he didn’t know if he was “in love.” He said he told me those things to try to believe it. We met up about two weeks after and he told me he needs space to “find out who he is.” He also said if we get back together, we are getting married and that he still loves me and always will. And will always care for me. He also said he doesn’t think who he wants to be is what I want. He said he’s drinking a lot more. He said at one point, maybe you should call it cold feet IDK. I felt so in love with him. I love that man no matter who he thinks he is. Im so lost without him. I just pray every day that this space will make us stronger and whatever thoughts he has going through his mind disappear. My friends say that he will eventually come back. I’m so scared that he won’t. Its so hard for me to get through this. He told me he wants to see me again in a few weeks. I’m trying so hard not to communicate with him.
Hi Sam,
I am going through the exact same situation as you now 🙁 Also 7 years of relationship and out of the blue he said it’s better for us to be separated. But my case is bit complicated because we are in LDR (but this is never an issue in our relationship) and he is seeing someone else! He has been drinking alot too. He is also sort of confused with his life (career, r/s and etc.). I think I shouldn’t leave him in this point of time, but he pushes me away and shut the door between us. But like you said, he would tell me how much he loved me and I am the one that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. We are not contacting each other for a month already. Did you guys manage to work things out and patch back?
I had the worst experience ever! dated this guy for 2 years. his ex left him for another man and she was living with him for 1 years. they are divorce for three years now yes they have 2 kids. it seems although he didnot want to be bother with her and she is a complete scum bag\, because she use to leave the kids alone and always blame him on ex husband.
he told me dont worry , you are the one. one day out of the blue call me on the phone and broke up with me. guess what i am giving it another shot!. i was devastated, but i learned my lesson not to put all my eggs in one basket. always love yourself to the fullest and never make no one bring you down. 🙂 i had move on, is being 8 months now. no contact. no calls. which is good. i will be careful next time.
My ex-boyfriend tried to come back into my life after I found out that I was the “other woman.”
When we first met, I was under the assumption that he was single, despite asking him about it. He brought up marriage, wanted to start a family and had the audacity to tell me that he loves me!!! Although I was flattered to know what he wanted in the beginning, I found his behavior odd because it’s a subject that’s discussed later on during the relationship. Worse of all, he asked me NOT to answer the phone if someone were to call or text, which is a red flag.
My suspicions was confirmed when his girlfriend confronted me by phone. I didn’t owe her an explanation, because I wasn’t the person who cheated on her with someone else from the outside. I shouldn’t have to be held responsible for his actions, so I ended the conversation by hanging up on her. It felt good to stand up for myself, despite the name calling via text message.
A few months later, I saw my ex-boyfriend for the first time after the confrontation. My blood was boiling with fury!!! He looked at me and didn’t say a word, not even an apology for being a lying, low-life piece of garbage!!
My current boyfriend and I were watching movies at his home when I received a text message from my ex-boyfriend. Since I had his phone number blocked, I couldn’t read the text message. I confronted my ex-boyfriend for the final time, by telling him that he I didn’t want to have anything to do with him ever again and moved on. I haven’t heard from him for a few months.
I refuse to be insecure because of my ex-boyfriend’s actions. How will I know he’s NOT going to cheat on me? I deserve better.
Yes, you deserve better. Be strong and don’t look back. 🙂
I will definitely do that. Thank you, Amy.
In 2014, we broke up and he change his number the first time. I contact him on Facebook and ask him ‘why did you change your number without no explanation’. He ignore my messages and act like never read it. When I started to move on with my life, being single and happy. He contact me a year in half later, to apologize what he said to me and I forgive him. We spending time together and have fun. I thought he would be a different person and mature. It turn out, he did it again, change his number again. This time is the second time. He don’t give me a reason and explanation changing his number. When I tried to contact him on Facebook messager, he ignoring me and don’t want talk to me at all. I feel very hurt why would he do that to me again.
Hi Amy, There is no reason or excuse for his behavior. Be glad you have discovered he is uncaring and immature and move on to better things.
If he were to contact you again, ignore him. You haven’t said or done anything wrong to him, so don’t hold yourself accountable for his actions. There’s no need for you to tolerate his “bipolar” like behavior.
Men will come back if you get pregnant by them. They will feel a need to make it a family and not a broken home. Even if he was not interested in reconciling with you, he will once he finds out your pregnant by him and he cares enough to get the child both parents.
My oldest two daughters (now adults) father wants to come back into my life suddenly. He said he now knows who he loves and who he is in love with…me. He has apologized and acknowledged his wrong doings to me. Tells me he loves me everyday and night. Came to see our daughters and Grandsons for the first time this past weekend. He says he wants to be with me, but he is still married but separated from his wife. Honestly, we have soul ties from day one 25 years ago. We can always pick up like we haven’t been through life, people, situations separate. What do I do? I do think or want to believe he is sincere. But I still remain reserved with my feelings. Because I would want us to be together like forever….help?
Was in this relationship with a guy who had been victim of domestic violence..his mother was also a victim of domestic violence..therefore he had some serious trust issues and always reflected on his past relationship…the relationship started out perfect as in the beginning…about 2 months into the relationship,that’s when things got rocky…he would flirt with this girl that he once had a fling with but there was no sexual contact within the fling they had..when him and I got together, he was fresh out of the fling…keep in mind,she was a married woman whom couldn’t prioritize him…hence the reason he left her…so he and I went from seeing each other 2-3 times out of the week to once a week…during this time that our contact narrowed,,he went out and exchanged phone numbers with some girl he mad at the club…he got caught up and apologized for it…I would complain about the flirting just about every day..he eventually told me,tht if he really wanted to be with her then he wouldn’t have let her go…he was also a habitual drinker and very disrespectful person..if things wouldn’t go his way,he would always have something stupid to say or threaten to go back home..so the weekend before my bday,we make plans to go to the gulf coast and he gives me his word..the day before my bday,,he asks me if I’m still going to the coast and I tell him yes…so we’re at work and my friend asks him if he’s prepared for the weekend on the coast and he says he has to fix his radiator..this came as a total shock to me and ruined my bday…he only gave me $5 and a small bottle of hennessey…later tht night,he changed his mind and gave me the money that would contribute toward the trip to the coast…so the next day comes and he changes his mind again…so I tell him,jf he takes this money back Tht I’m leaving him for good..I guess he didn’t take me serious cuz he’s been texting things like he’s sorry he doesn’t deserve me and he hopes I find someone that will make me happy lastlast night, he texts and say tht his life is going down hill and tht he’s homesick and moving back to California…so I told him I’m happy for him..I love him but I’m not taking him back unless he gets a grip on his life
I was seeing this guy for about 3 months up until last night, when i finally built the bravery to ask him if he was seeing other people, immediately he said yes, at which point i expressed to him that im not okay with that, and that yeah, we never talked about being exclusive, but that weve been seeing eachother for 3 plus months and i have my shit in his apartment and we spend so much time together… so i felt that it was a betrayal, and when i asked him to stop and me monogamous, he said he wasnt ready to trust me yet because apparently hes been cheated on, but i think hes doing the same. he kept asking me not to leave and that he wants me in his life, but i couldnt stay or i would lose my self respect….. i love him, a lot .. and i think what im struggling with right now is the fact that im holding up hope for him to come tell me that he was wrong and he wont hook up with other women, but at the same time, if he does, i will want to go back to him and i shouldnt… he doesnt deserve me. idk what to do.. torn
Hi Britt, You have done the right thing. If you are one man girl, then he MUST be a one girl man. This is a core value that you must align on. Don’t chase him for a change in his behavior, and don’t hold out that he will change his behavior. I would suggest focusing on the future, if he comes back and apologies of his own free will then you can re-assess. Trust your gut instinct..
I started seeing somebody I’ve had feelings for for a long time. He has felt the same for me and we’ve been friends for a few years. Everything was going great, we talked about the future and I could tell he felt very strongly for me. The thing is that he is in a vicious custody battle and his ex is doing everything she can to make his life a living hell. When she found out about me things took a turn for the worse. He then felt that he had to focus on his daughter and her wellbeing, and that he didn’t have room for anything else in is life. So just like that it ended.
I’ve been a total wreck and I didn’t contact him for over a month. Then I did the other day, just a simple hello and that I’m here for him as a friend. He never replied. I know he is in a bad state and that he’s not being himself in this struggle. But it still hurts so bad and I’m so tired of trying to be strong and move on with life. All I want is him, nothing else matters.
hey Rebecca, I feel the same way about a guy who is also unavailable to pursue a relationship. You say you’ve been friends with him ‘for a few years’!? – and that you have feelings for him. wow, sounds like you’ve had ‘feelings’ for a long time. In my case, I got a new job, the guy there one day (a month & half after I started), passing by near where I sit, touched me on my arm (b/c I hadn’t been at work the previous day, I suppose). Anyway, I felt SPARKS inside me. And I was hooked – in love totally. I started going by his cube (near mine) when mostly everyone had left for the day – so I could talk to him. After a couple of visits & lengthy talks, I thought I’d say ‘goodbye’ for the day by lightly touching him on the shoulder to see if he felt something. Anyway – yes!, he grabbed me, pulled me close to give me a tight hug. I loved it! After that, everyday, he was happy to see me. He looked at me whenever he passed by my cube. I fell madly in love with this guy – like no other in my life ever! Only thing is that I had gotten another job (same county government organization), just different location nearby. I had 2 weeks with him. And in that time, he kissed me once, I tried to make out with him once. Only thing that bothered me is that he was not asking me out. He has kids to pick up after work. On weekends, he is unavailable. There is someone else, but I think the romance has died (so he explained). So, yes, like you, 2 days prior to me leaving, he tells me, we likely will not keep in touch once I leave. I was shocked! I didn’t understand. The ‘in love’ look he has for me and his hugs, & the kiss did not match the words he was telling me. I was angry he said that. It hurt. On my last day, he did not come to work. The following week at my new job, I did not take his words seriously from the week before. I figured he would miss me like I missed him so badly! At the end of the 2nd week, I could not stand it, I messaged him to let him know ‘I missed him’ terribly. He replied that he ‘missed me too’ and asked how my new job was going. We each wrote a few sentences and I told him if he’s ever where I’m at for training (or whatever), to let me know so I could meet up. He said he would. Then another 2 weeks went by & I messaged him again. The conversation was longer this time b/c he was having a family party & was nice to tell me about it. Like you Rebecca, I’ve been a WRECK too in the first month since last seeing him. My boss had a talk with me and wondered if I liked my job b/c people were noticing that I looked MISERABLE. I told her it was not the job, but a personal issue. She gave me an 800 number to call to talk to a counselor. I did that, but the person did not help me much. Anyway, as I’ve learned my job extremely well, I’ve been very busy. When the next 2 weeks went by, I had no time to message him. I felt bad. I really wanted to know how the party went and just read whatever he had to say. I love whatever he writes. Then this past Friday, the server went down. I could not message him. I tried email, but that too was down. I’ve been reading a lot of advice online that says ‘not to contact’ the guy if he breaks it off. He should be the one reaching out. The thing is he’s not, and I need to have communication with him. I wish to God that I could see him, but we work the same hours – and I don’t have time to drive up to where he works. He’d be gone by the time I got there. I don’t have vacation yet saved up (he does), I can’t take time off to leave early or have a longer lunch. So it is hopeless unless he makes the effort to see me. And I don’t understand what happened to his feelings that I thought he had for me. I think I scared him off by what I said & the kisses I gave him out of totally loosing control (total passion). I want badly to apologize for that. But I’m not being given a chance. And yes, I feel the same way as you Rebecca. You said it well. I want him (my guy) and nothing else matters! Let’s hope somehow, someday, we both get our guys back. I will love him forever (even though, I’ve only knew him for 2 months, it’s been 4 now). But in those 3 weeks I was close to him. It was magic. Have never met anyone like him. He is perfection!
My ex and I had been together for 2 years. I found out he lied to me about flirting with other women and the context of relationships with other women, mostly hanging out with women he slept with in the past, but refused me to hang out with any, man friend or ex. He let me when I told him I was hurt by his lies and didn’t know how to fix the situation and said he couldn’t handle the relationship anymore. I was depressed and devestated all summer and severely depressed. Now, he reappears and wants to get back together. He accused me of sleeping with a guy friend of mine that contacted him to tell him what an idiot he was to loose me and mess up the way he did. He said this for him so mad and he assumed we were sleeping together, and without contacting me to ask, starting dating all these women. He said it never went anywhere though and he never slept with them, and he also reached out to a woman he had been cyber stalking for years before he deceived to get into a relationship with me, and claimed she was nothing but a b$&&!. All of this, while I had to pick up the pieces and heal. He’s back now and of course I still love him, but I’m scared he’s just back after he had his fun this summer. When I asked him, he said maybe it’s better if we just stay friends if I rally think that. What else am I really to think !? Someone pleeease help me with this!
Hi Tanya, From what you have said I would be careful as you may again get hurt. If he can’t commit to you then what hope has your relationship got unless you just want a friends with ‘benefits” relationship? If not and you seek a single bond one man to one woman, take your time, think it over, don’t commit and see what happens. One step at a time. You many find this helpful to see if he is cheating on you.
Thank you very much for that link. Right before he broke up with me he started working out hard core and trying to look younger again, so I can relate to that part as well as any lies. As for everything else though I can’t say I’ve noticed.
He just told me that he gave his number out to females at a wedding he attended three weeks after he left me. He said it ever went anywhere because he told he he loved a woman that he broke Up with. He said she took it as a sign that they hes not ready yet, so she stopped talking to him. So he messed up yhen leaves me and weeks later he’s approaching women and handing out numbers and doing God only knows what else ? I love him and I wish all of this didn’t even happen. How do I know he’s only coming back because other girls didn’t give him the time of day ? I asked him and he got mad at me for saying that and told me why I don’t just shut the hell up and stop making accusations. I’m shocked
Me and my boyfriend were dating for 8 months almost 9. We were together everyday, all day like basically inseparable literally. He got laid off his job in the oil field the 1st month we started dating in January, and he finally got a new job in the oil field in august and is stationed in California for a while, only coming home a few times a year which was fine, i loved him. We concluded it would be okay. He came home for 3 days labor day weekend and we decided we were going to take the next step and move in together and we went apartment shopping and everything was great. He went back to california and a few days later we started discussing how he wont be home often, and how things will be a little difficult and he did a 360. He decided he didn’t want to move in together and that we should break up and he had “No feelings” for me at all and doesn’t see a future with me and him together…..I’m so confused just the day before he was ready to live together and telling me how much he loved me, there is no way his feelings were fake. He is even who said I love you first and we’ve always spoke about the future. All 8 months have been great, then he gets this new job and it all changes?? His parents and friends are telling me he’s making a huge mistake and maybe he just needs some time because he’s confused and with the distance. I need advice. Do you think his feelings are true? Or it’s just the distance? I’m wondering if he’ll change his mind and come back….Help. So heartbroken
Can anyone maybe help me to get some insight into my situation WITHOUT JUDGING please 🙂
I met a wonderful man 14 years’ ago during a work getaway. I was 29 and he was 30. We were both in sexless marriages, but otherwise happily married (no children). We spent 2 nights just talking through the night and then ended up sleeping together.
We were both very happy in our marriages and loved our partners, but we just could not stay away from each other.
Within a month he said he could not continue with an affair where he has to lie to his wife and that we should tell our partners and be together.
I told him that was crazy as we knew each other for less than a month whilst both of us have been married for several years and are happy in our marriages i.e. we need time to figure this out.
Within the next week he however went ahead and told his wife that he was in love with me and wants to be with me. He phoned me on a Sunday evening, crying, to tell me that he took the plunge. I told him it is too early for me to make such a rash decision.
I could not sleep that night and decided that life is too short, that he is right that an affair is not the answer and that I am willing to take a chance on him. The next morning I told him that I will also get a divorce, but he said that it is too late because he, after I rejected him, made a renewed commitment to his wife and he cannot now go back to her and say he is leaving just because I have changed my mind.
We broke contact as best as we could (at the time still had to see each other sometimes due to work circumstances but he has since moved to another part of the country). He then had to go to England for 2 months for work. He phoned me from there and asked me to come through for a week so that we can have one blissful week together removed from our realities after which we should break it off completely. I went there, had the best week of my life and came back committed to leave him and what could never be behind me.
He however could not let it go and said he can’t live without me and that we should both get divorced once he is back. We spoke for hours and hours on the phone and planned our future. Then he came back and told me he cannot go through with it as he cannot get it over his heart to hurt his wife as she is really a sweet and innocent person and has done nothing wrong. I understood, but was totally devastated.
To cut a long story short, I ended up getting a divorce anyway about 3 months later as I realized that I wanted more than a ‘best friend’ to live with, I wanted a best friend who is ALSO my lover and a soul mate to be my life partner.
I started dating again and after some short-lived relationships I met an amazing man who completes me in every way and with whom I now have been living with for just over 10 years.
The problem is that HE kept popping in and out of my life. Through the years he would text me or phone me once every few months (platonic) and we went for coffee about once every two years at which times he would tell me that he still loves me – and then he would disappear again for months. He was always the one who initiated contact.
We did sleep together again on 1 occasion exactly 10 years after we initially met (I was the one who initiated it on that occasion – as I said, no judgement please).
Anyway, a year ago he asked me to go with him on holiday to England for a week. I discussed it at length with my partner (we can talk about EVERYTHING) and my partner said that he has enough trust in what we have that I will not leave him after the trip and that if I want to take the opportunity to go to England again he will not stand in my way (financially we are rarely in a position to travel and he knows travelling abroad is my greatest passion).
I ended up going and fell in love with HIM all over again, but this time I am in a relationship that most people can only dream off and I will never leave my partner for him or anyone else. During the trip we did sleep together and he again declared his undying love for me, but we both affirmed that there is no future for us and that we were never meant to be. He also claims to be still be very happy in his marriage and he also does not complain that he and his wife does not have sex as they ‘just don’t have this type of relationship’.
After the trip we had more regular contact (short platonic text about every 2 weeks), dinner about every 2 months and we have also spent two nights together on separate occasions a few months apart (with the knowledge of my partner, but his wife does not know).
What I cannot understand is this:
1) WHAT IS HE GETTING OUT OF THIS?
The text messages are sporadic and never of a sexual nature and we have more occasions when we just go for coffee or dinner than having sex, so although sex may be a motivation as he and his wife does not have sex at all, it is clearly not his main motivation. Since we came back from the trip in December 2015 he has not used the word ‘love’ again and he does not act romantically in any way – when we for instance meet for coffee the only physical contact there would be will be a short platonic hug when we greet. We rarely speak on the phone and if we do it is very short conversations. He however keeps on sending me very short, completely platonic text messages about every 2 weeks, even if I ignore him. Yesterday he mentioned in a text that he would like us to go to England again next year to attend a certain athletics event. Why is he hanging around if there is nothing romantic, no deep conversations, no passion, no current love declarations, or even continuous friendship that we share? (I offered all of the aforesaid to him but he does not seem to want / need any of it). What value do I add to his life if it is nothing of the aforesaid? I am truly at a loss!
2) WHY CAN I NOT LET HIM GO?
After 10 years I am still genuinely in love with my partner, we have a great sex life, he is very attractive, he treats me like a queen and stimulates my mind like no-one ever before and since I met him I have never even been remotely interested in other men, so why am I obsessing about this one other guy from my past who I know I do not want a ‘full-time future’ with. Why can I not cut him completely from my life if he does not really add anything to it other than that my heart still wants to beats out of my chest whenever I see him?
I AM SO CONFUSED AND I WILL REALLY APPRECIATE ANY INSIGHT ANYONE MAY HAVE – THANKS!
I dated a guy for 4 years. We live far apart. saw each other about 4 times a year. He was always telling me how much he loved me and our bedroom life was great. I did pretty much everything he asked and bent over backwards to please him. One day he stopped answering my messages. I knew he had seen them but no answer. Then after a few weeks (and no I wasn’t freaking out or texting him like crazy at that point) he blocked me. Never told me why, I did write him email “books” just begging pretty much to know why. I didn’t beg for him to come back just to tell me why. He would just block me everywhere I messaged him. This was almost a year ago. I realize he isn’t worthy of my even caring, But I just wonder if you think there is any chance he will ever talk to me again? I have given up hope of ever finding out why. and if he ever did contact me again I wouldn’t ask at this point, I am not sure I would ever want to date him again as I was terribly hurt, But I do miss him and would be nice just to be able to say hello now and then. Any thoughts? Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I had a bf for almost 4 years. We were online relationship, but I went to his country to meet him in Feb.. It was the best week of my life and he said it was the best week of his life. We had a couple of rough patches over 4 years, maybe 4 or 5, but for the most part our relationship has been really good. Now he says he cannot be in a relationship, said I would expect him to marry me. I have never told him I wanted to get married, not ever, wtf gives? I am brokenhearted, I miss my bf but I also miss him cause we are best friends.
My boyfriend and l are both in our late fifties.. We met on dating site..we date close to 8 mos. Everything was really great between us. We went out to dinner one nite with a couple of his female friends which l knew he had from the beginning..
I didn’t say anything but started getting upset when she started telling me all my personal life that only he knew about me..then at the end if dinner she told me she was going to Dallas to a football game with my boyfriend and his friend which l didn’t even know he invited her but not me…after we left l confronted him in a nice way..I decided to go home and not spend the nite..
He did text me Good morning and good nite and l did answer his text’s.. Then l ask him if that was all there was gonna be…its been two months and he never text or call me back..WHY..I text him one more time and still dead silence.. I have no idea what l did so wrong…yes we were in love at least l still am.but l have no idea why..he’s avoiding me..we talked about marriage.. Now at age l sit here heart broken..I didn’t date anyone for 14 yrs he was my first after my divorce.. Can someone give me shine some light to why this happen…Thx hope l made some sense..
Hi Elsa. it sounds like he would have moved on regardless at some point in time. Perhaps he was looking for something else and was inconsiderate / scared to discuss his needs with you. i’m sorry to hear of your disappointment. keeping thoughts positive can be challenging but i find being grateful is the best method.
Hi I split from my bf of 6.5 years he says he loves me but his heart is not in the relationship his daughter she 15 now doesn’t like me and stopped all contact with him for a year but is now back in his life since we split I know how much he loves me and feel he only not coming back because he doesn’t want to risk upsetting his daughter and for her to withdraw her love from him again . Is it to late ? Is there a chance he may come back to me ? Please I really would like to hear what you all think !!!
I could do with advice on how to deal with my situation?
My ex boyfriend and I were together for 2.5 years. We met on a dating website because we were both ready for a serious relationship. He was a huge family man, all of siblings have been in 10 year relationships, he’s super close with all of them and his parents. I fitted into that as part of his family, we became best friends and were talking about moving in together.
We had a great relationship though we would sometimes argue here and there as one of us would pick up on stupid things but we were always there for eachother in the end.
In the last month of our relationship he started a new job and I felt he was pulling away from me. Realistically I think I was being selfish and hated him spending less time with me. We would argue a lot about that, his priorities.. which I regret because now looking back I should have been far more supportive of him. Eventually he says he can’t take the arguing anymore, but I convince him to give me a shot and we get back together.. we spent two weeks just moving forward; not one argument and a new perspective on us. I thought it was going well till I caught him messaging another girl.. though he said it wasn’t what I thought he just needed someone to talk to.. but he took that as a way to break up with me. That he knew we couldn’t be happy together…
All I wanted was a shot to appreciate him and our relationship more. I wish that I hadn’t become so naggy and self centred.
After the breakup (it’s now been 4 months) we didn’t speak for a month and then we met up a couple of times to just catch up, sometimes (rarely) he would reach out to ask how I was doing. But in the past month he hasn’t reached out at all..
Should I reach out to him, or if I wait do you think there’s a chance he might come back to me?
Help Please!
My boyfriend of two months broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I’m 40 and he’s 39. Until he dumped me this was the best relationship I’d ever been in. The kind that had me waking up in the middle of the night just to look at him and make sure it was real. I’d never felt so in love, accepted for who I am or cherished by anyone before. He is divorced and has two children. On our first date he asked me where I saw myself in five years I told him hopefully married with a child. He told me his divorce was horrible and he never wanted to get married again. I told him if he felt that way he shouldn’t be dating me because marriage is what I want for my future with the right person. He then said he has not 100 % ruled out marriage but it would take a lot to get him there. We started dating within two weeks he told me he did not want to just date me he wanted to be in a relationship with me. I said ok. We discussed sex and I asked about birth control. I told him I’m not on birth control and he should use condoms when we start having sex. He told me he did not want to use condoms which confused me because he also told me he did not want to have anymore children unless he was married. I said okay. A month in we start having sex. About three weeks after we start having sex he asked me want I wanted and what was holding me back from fully letting myself go with him. I told him I was afraid of falling in love with him because I do want to get married and have a child and its not something he seems certain about for his future. He then tells me at our age we both know what we want and its each other. He said I had him and he’s not going anywhere. He told me he’ d cum inside me several times already and if I got pregnant that would be up to God and something we would deal with together. We are both Catholic and don’t believe in abortion so I took that as him saying he was open to having a child with me. A couple weeks later he asked me to meet his children. I thought it was too soon but he told me he loved me, I’m his best friend and he wanted his boys to meet me. I met his sons and things were good between us. At this point we are seeing each other just about four days a week. I slept at his house every night except when his boys were there. I cooked him dinner and always made enough so he’d have food for his boys the next day. I also took off work to drive him to his dr. appoint when he had minor surgery. I loved him and I did everything I knew how to do to show him I loved him. He did the same for me. He always brought me flowers called and texted me all day every day and always made me feel like I was a priority in his life. One week after he introduced me to his boys he dumped me. I cooked him dinner and took it to his house because he had spent the day helping his friend move. I got to his house and everything was normal. We cuddled on the couch. He told me how much he loved and missed me all day and we watched TV. I don’t know what we were talking about but it was something about having kids and I jokingly said once I had our baby he was getting snipped. He then told me that was never happening because he was never having anymore kids and he was never getting married again. I asked him to repeat what he just said. He told me again. He went on to say that having more kids would take time away from the children he already has and he has dreams and want to buy a new house and his dreams don’t include anymore children or getting married. I stared at him for a couple minutes and then asked him what are we doing if he never wants to get married. I was so confused since a couple weeks earlier he was telling me it was okay to fall in love and if I got pregnant it was God’s plan for us. He then told me I was pressuring him into marriage. I asked him how was I pressuring him and he said I talked about marriage a lot and I had just mentioned us having a child together. The only time we ever discussed marriage was when he asked me what I wanted in the future or we discussed how we handled money. I thought they were normal conversations a couple had when they were getting to know each other and trying to determine how we would work together if we did decide we wanted a future together. He asked me questions like if he got a job in Alaska would I go with him. I asked him if we were to get married did he want separate accounts or a family account. I told him I was confused and needed time to think. Maybe I was moving too fast. I told him I didn’t mean to pressure him but when he introduced me to his boys and told me he had never introduced another woman to them I thought that was him telling me again that we are serious and he wanted to build a future with me and I had already told him building a future to me included marriage. If he didn’t want to get married I don’t understand where he saw our relationship going. Was he just planning to be my boyfriend forever. He’d live at his house and I’d just spent the night when the boys weren’t there for the next 10 years? He then told me instead of thinking about marriage I should have just been trying to get to know him. He went on to say since my plan is to get married we should break up because he knew in his heart he would never get married again. I asked him if we could just calm down and talk about this the next day. He told me no I needed to leave his house it was over. I left. I gave it a couple days and I called him. I asked if he was ok. He said he was fine. I asked if he was certain about wanting to break up with me he said yes we wouldn’t work because I want to get married one day and also because we are too different. He added that he is right win conservative and he felt my family and friends would not like that. He also added that he felt my religion was not as important to me as it is to him. I told him he was just making up excuses. If he doesn’t want me then he doesn’t want me and I can’t force him but to blame it on my family and friends maybe not liking him or me not being Catholic enough for him was unfair. I then told him me being who I am allows me to love and accept him loved him for exactly who he is and if I was more like him that would not be possible. I also told him I’m sorry that he is too hurt and afraid from his divorce to allow himself to be happy with me because we would be happy. He told me he does not have to justify himself to me and hung up. My question is what happened? How was he so in love with me a week before he dumped me. The man told me he had never been that happy with anyone, that he loved me and introduced me to his kids and then exactly one week later dumped me.
Hi Lola, How long was in between his divorce and you two getting serious? It sounds like he was confused and didn’t really know what he wanted. This is common for guys after divorce and i would suggest at least a year needs to pass before a guy can get his head straight. That’s not to say that a guy will not seek a relationship much earlier as a guy does not usually had a large friend network like women who he can discuss his issues with. So a guy can tend to look for a female companion fast, before they are ready for a relationship.
Met a guy and fell in love with him instantly. Dated for a few months and even lived together, he had commitment issues, which I respected and I moved on. Finally met an amazing guy who for the first time has me as his first priority but the ex always checks in and drops the how are you doing text. He does this because he knows that I love him but then he won’t give me the relationship I want but gives it to other girls, which ends up a disaster and come crawling back. I’m not instigating any contact why keep coming back? It’s hard to choose between who I want and what I need! Any advice is welcome
Hello, I am in a bit of a complicated/confusing situation currently and I need some advice on it, mainly because it’s the first time I am experiencing this, and I would like some insight (preferably from a guy if possible)
I’ll give you a bit of an insight on my past relationship/dating experiences so I can better explain my current situation…
A few years back I dated a guy for about 8 months. It was a very one-sided and toxic relationship. He emotionally and verbally abused me and cheated on me, then broke up with me and blamed me for everything. It took a toll on my dating life for the worse because I became even very paranoid, I started overthinking the simplest things, and my insecurities and trust issues skyrocketed. So needless to say, I’d smother the life out of any new guy I had met via texting very early on! Obviously, they pushed me away. But once I realized what I was doing, I decided it was time to get some help (professionally). So a few months ago I started seeing a therapist who gave me advice on how to relax my mind when I became very anxious. I also talk to a very close friend of mine that helps me a lot too.
Then about 2 months ago I met a guy online. He started messaging me and we really hit it off quickly. He seemed to have really liked me too because he would message me a lot (literally from morning to night). The conversations just flowed and was fun, and we enjoyed talking to each other. Then after a few days of texting we met for the first time. He is a VERY shy person, and so am I. But we still had a really fun time. I can tell he did like me because of his body language, plus he had complimented me a couple times. However, during our first date, he grabbed my face and kissed me. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex…
I felt like we were both going with the flow and it just happened. But at the same time I felt as though I made a mistake giving it up so easily and quickly. I thought he wouldn’t have contacted me again, but surprisingly he did – the next day! He continued to message me on a daily basis, and talked about how much fun he had when he met me. He would occasionally compliment me as well – using words such as “beautiful” and “pretty”. As I continued to talk to him I realized that not only is he shy, but he’s a true gentleman. He is very polite, respectful, sincere, and I can tell he cares about others and their feelings. I really admire and respect him for that, and it only made me even more interested in getting to know him.
Now when we first started talking, he asked me if I’m into hookups or a relationship type of person. I told him neither at the moment, because I am trying to work on bettering myself before I get into another relationship, but at the same time I am definitely not into hookups or just having sex with someone. But I did tell him I would like to get to know him. He said he was on the same page as I am. This is also why I felt I made a mistake sleeping with him on the first date, but once I saw he kept coming around and continued to be respectful and polite, I felt better about the situation.
Now fast forward about a month after our first date, we made plans to finally meet a second time. It took that long because we live in different cities and both have different schedules so it wasn’t easy planning a 2nd date. For the 2nd we went to the movies and then grabbed coffee. We had fun and again, I can tell he was interested because he was a bit fidgety and nervous. He didn’t talk much again and I caught him staring at me a couple times. He also opened up more about his life (work-wise). At the end of the date he again grabbed my face and kissed me. And when he got home he took the initiative to tell me he got home and even explained why it took long for him to get home. I didn’t even ask him!
So with all that said, I felt really good. I felt as though things were going great and our connections was good. But I guess I was wrong. After our 2nd date I noticed a change in his texting. He started acting a bit distant. I felt something was off and so I asked him if everything was ok. He responded and said to me that he can tell I want more, but he isn’t ready for a relationship so he thinks we should stop because he doesn’t want to lead me on…
I felt extremely confused… I responded asking him what makes him think that. I asked him if it’s because I text him often, or if it’s because I was super nice to him in person (which is who I am. I’m a very friendly person). I told him I felt bad that he is probably thinking I am trying to force him into something he is not ready for because I would never do that.
I was so confused as to why he would say that, but all he responded saying was that he doesn’t think I am trying to force him into anything, and that he was probably “overthinking” everything like he “usually does.” I don’t know if he was being serious or not but this was my response:
“I think you are misunderstanding me as a person and my intentions. I think it’s easier to get to know someone in person because texting can be easily misconstrued. I can sometimes overthink things. But let’s stop assuming things and just get to know each other better. But for now, I will give you some space. Enjoy the rest of your day ”
His response was “okay thanks and I agree as well”. I felt like giving him space was the respectful thing to do, since I felt like it was what he wanted because since we met each other we have been in contact everyday!
But I am just so confused now. Because I have no idea what I did to give him that impression. I felt like I did all I could to avoid making past mistakes. I was way more patient and understanding than I ever was, and when it came to texting I did not confront him if he took long to answer (he only sometimes took long to answer when he’s working which was understandable, and he never ignored my messages). I never bombarded him with messages either. If he took a while to respond, I would just keep myself busy until he did. PS he would usually initiate contact, so when he didn’t, I would. Now I am thinking he probably wanted alone time and when I texted him I was intruding in that space? And because of that he viewed this as being needy or wanting more? This is the only “issue” I can think of when it comes to texting. Other than that I really changed my behavior and took new steps I never took before to avoid pushing him away. I really don’t know what it was, but I have a few questions:
1. Did he think I was needy because I messaged him everyday? Even though HE initiated contact most of the time, and I just tried to continue on with the conversation until it died down. Or am I just being paranoid and there is something more to it?
2. Should I give him a few days and message him? Though I feel as if I do that I would be intruding in his space. Or should I just wait for him to text me?
3. Do you think he would come around?
4. Am I just being extremely paranoid about this whole thing when all he wants is a bit of space?
I really do like talking to him and I am interested in getting to know him better. This is why it bothers me. Because I felt as though I had such a great connection with this guy then all of a sudden he made that accusation I want more and suggested that we stop? I even tried to convince myself that he’s a “bad” person, but I don’t feel it in my gut because my instincts are telling me otherwise because he has never said or done anything before to give me that impression. This is the first time this has happened. Usually I am the one that would push guys away with my neediness. But this time I honestly do not believe that I did anything wrong…
Please give me an insight of what you might think is going on? Its been 2 days and I haven’t spoken to him.
Hi Stephanie. It’s perfectly natural to continue a conversation if he starts it and that is not being needy in any way. I definitely think you’re overthinking the whole situation. It’s natural for guys to want some space, it’ll give him time to have a think about your relationship the ability to step back for a day or two and review it from a different angle. If I will you I would give it a few more days of no contact and then text him to make sure he’s ok and just let him know but you’re more than happy to be friends and get to know each other more before before you have any expectations of a serious relationship.
Hi Mr. Perspective, thank you for your response 🙂 I figured I might have been overthinking the whole situation. I was just really confused and taken aback that he had suddenly pulled away and claimed that I wanted more from him. I thought it was an excuse to stop talking to me.
The no contact period is definitely helping – for me at least. It’s helping me to realize what I truly want from him which is to continue getting to know him. But I know now that even when I start talking to him again I need to keep it polite and friendly and continue to give him his space. Despite what others tell me I believe all he wanted was that, he has no ill intentions and I can feel it.
I will do as you say and wait a few more days then I will contact him. Thanks again for your insight, I feel relieved 🙂
Hi Mr. Perspective, I have one more question for you.
I did as you said and I messaged the guy today. In total it was 5 days NC. I told him I was just reaching out to make sure things are okay with him and good between us. I even said I was sorry if I had made him feel uncomfortable in any way before.
I only did this because in the past I pushed men away who said I smothered them and that they needed space. So when he told me he felt like I want a relationship, it made me believe that he sensed some sort of neediness, hence why I panicked. Because that’s the reason I decided to get help in the first place: to control my emotions. And I felt like it was helping because even I saw a change in my behavior. I took every precaution not to repeat past mistakes, and felt like I was doing fine and was just under the impression we were BOTH going with the flow. So when he made that accusation I felt very confused/shocked/angry. Hence why I apologized.
ANYWAYS, He messaged me back and told me that I really didn’t do anything wrong and that he is trying to focus on himself and has been very busy this past week. I know he mentioned to me before that he’s trying to find a new job and a couple other work-related issues he was trying to deal with, so I believed him.
I responded saying that I understand he is busy and I respect his need for alone time/space, and that I was merely reaching out to make sure he is okay.
I do want to continue a friendship, so I felt like maybe I should keep things civil and just reach out (not often) asking how he’s doing or what’s up. I felt like this would make him feel more comfortable if I gave him some time alone, but also reach out once in a while without making him feel pressured or bombarding him.
My question to you is, is this a good idea? Should I still continue to initiate contact every few days or so? Or should I give him his space until he sorts everything out?
I was talking to a really close friend of mine, and he said it’s a good idea. However, he told me (in his opinion), that it kinda sounds like the guy may have liked me and possibly thought things were moving too fast, so decided to pull away to focus on the more important things in his life (his work) without distractions. IF that was the case, is it still a good idea to message him?
Hi Steph, absolutely keep in contact with him as you don’t want to grow too distant. But as you say don’t go over the top. Just keep it gentle and friendly. Hope this helps 🙂
Hello, yes this helps a lot! Thank you for your advice ☺
Hey, I’m sorry for all of these posts, but I just need some clarification. Because clearly I am a confused person lol.
I decided to text the guy again today. But he has not responded yet. When I messaged him a few days ago, he took almost 3 hours to respond, and now he is taking a while again to respond to my initial text. But whenever I check my Facebook I see him online sometimes.
Before everything got awkward he would message me back quickly most of the time. So now I can’t help but to assume the worse.
I remember he had mentioned one time that he sometimes suck at texting especially if he is busy. I never thought he sucked at it though because from day one he messaged me sometimes very quickly and sometimes not (if he was busy).
So my questions are:
1. Is it possible he is just getting back into his normal routine, and perhaps this is what he meant when he said he “sucked at texting” ? IF this is the case, then is it possible he felt “distracted” messaging me so often, and decided to pull back?
OR
2. Is he just not interested at all in talking to me anymore? I try to be optimistic, and thought if he wasn’t then he wouldn’t have responded to my message a few days ago. But at the same time when I see him online on Facebook and the fact that he takes so long to text back makes me think now that he’s just not interested…
3. Is this considered taking things slow and going with the flow? And I’m just being paranoid/impatient?
I just got so accustomed to him messaging back quickly most of the time. And I don’t even know if he will even respond to my message.
I used to be confused.. Now I am no longer confused Stephanie. I don’t “chase, I replace.” Know your OWN worth, and the RIGHT man will be attracted to you. Live your OWN life and fill it up and you will be so happy, you won’t be confused anymore. There are MANY WONDERFUL men out there, don’t waste your time with men who don’t know who or what they want. “JMO” But “no response” or questionable responses” are all answering your question, and IMO NEXT!
Hi! I’m going through a really depressing moment. I was together with my boyfriend for 7 years and we were the best together, we were even planing on living together, marrying and having children some day. But well… around a year and a half he cheated of me with some girl he met, he broke up with me and said that he wanted to try dating her, I was destroyed back then… then a week later he told me that she wasn’t what he wanted and that he had made an awful mistake..(come on!) but another week passed and I ended up accepting… we were trying our best, he was working hard on proving himself so, I began believing in him again… but then this last month I felt him odd. We still talked but not like before and the few times we saw each other ( we are both really busy) I felt like he wasn’t enjoying it too much..
After that he decided to finish everything… he swore he isn’t dating anyone else… just that he felt awkward with me, and that he had conflicting feelings of wanting to see me but at the same time he didn’t. I asked him if he stopped loving me, but he says he doesn’t and then when the conversation keep going he told me that he thought I would get tired of him because he depends so much on me and he has no other person he can thrust…, I said him I wouldn’t and that I wanted him in my life even through this hard times, but he had that idea deep in his mind… that he needed to finish everything… we were both crying at that point… but then…. everything was over…we said goodbye forever…
I fight my need to call him and text him or to ask him to come back to him….. but I don’t know if he will ever come back to me…. I’m pretty sure he’s going through a difficult time right now as well because I know him so well… I don’t really understand his choice and I’m actually a bit worried about him… I wonder if someone of you can give me some advice. I’m wondering if there’s any chance for us to go back…. we were the best friends, shared so many interests and understood each other so well… I’m a complete disaster right now…
I am 50 and my BF is 47. We have lived together for 2 years, would call me be his last name to give me indication we were committed, didn’t have to be married IMO but committed. On Labor Day he told me he had met someone (who reminds him of his first wife, HS sweetheart who cheated during their marriage)and wanted to see where it goes. Shell shocked to say the least. I thought we had a great relationship, in every way. I left no room for dissatisfaction. So a week ago yesterday he packed a bag and left and hasn’t been back. Said he hopes to miss me enough to “get his head out of his ****”…….
Between Labor Day and him packing a bag, he had not come home on 2 different nights. He then came home to change clothes on a the Friday before packing and as we talked I told him I thought his childhood abandonment issues caused this behavior, it is repeated for him in past relationships. He broke down and cried and then said he was going to fix this. He left and broke it off with her. He then said he felt so much better, that he had thought this a million times but was blind to the sight of what it was doing to him. Said he loved me so much. We had a great weekend but he wouldn’t cut contact with her and it went downhill that following week until the Friday packing.
He said he didn’t blame me if I didn’t wait then later said if I thought he wanted me to walk away I didn’t understand. I’m in such limbo.
I’ve initiated no contact and am on day 3 after we talked about some shared finances he agreed to help me with. I stay so confused from one minute to the next. I don’t know if my gut feeling that we will reconcile is just wishful thinking or that he will realize what we had was special and worth fighting for.
Update: at day 3 of NC he texted and said he was coming by to pick up some mail he needed. It was totally legitimate.
We talked and held each other and cried. He said he was just so confused. My first question when he began to cry, he cried first, was “are you crying because you need to tell me it’s over?” He emphatically shook his head no.
He stayed for a while but in the end left, I think that was best. Although it’s so hard. He said he did not deserve me and that he had not given up on us. My gut keeps telling me be patient………..
I am so confused.
It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly
donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding
your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will share this
site with my Facebook group. Chat soon!
I WAS IN A VERY BIG CRASH WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND I NEEDED RECONCILIATION BUT HE WAS NOT RESPONDING AND HE SAID HE IS NEVER COMING BACK, I TRIED TO GET HELPER BUT NO ONE COULD GIVE ME A POSITIVE RESULT, THEN A FRIEND RECOMMENDED ME TO read your Site, I DID AND AFTER SOME FEW DAYS, MY BOYFRIEND CAME TO ME TO APOLOGIZE ASKING ME TO ACCEPT HIM BACK WHICH I GLADLY DID, WE ARE BACK TOGETHER AND STRONGER THAN BEFORE
Right here is the perfect blg for evetyone who wouod like to find out about
this topic. You understand so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I rwally will needd to…HaHa).
You certainly put a fresh spin on a topic that’s been written about for a
long time. Great stuff, just excellent!
I recently walked away from my relationship, exactly 2 weeks ago. I did love this man and it is unbearable pain and I wonder if the day will come when this hurt will go away. I also feel like a fool.
I met my boyfriend 9 months ago and we hit it off immediately but when he told me he was separated I told him it wasn’t for me. This was right at the beginning when we first met. He had been separated for 3 yrs and was not in the marital home. This is true as I have been staying between my home and his the past 9 months. He said he had not started divorce proceedings as he had not met anyone like me till now and he was going to start the divorce process. He said him and his ex had already sorted the childcare arrangements etc and there was no acrimony in their current relationship. I took his word and we were moving along happily having great times and was introduced to all his friends etc. We had what I considered a loving relationship. Obviously I trusted this man as I started a relationship which originally I didn’t want due to him still being legally married. I would from time to time ask how the divorce was going and he would say it is fine just a few things to sort here and there. As more time passed I would probe more which he didn’t like and just told me to trust him. To cut a long story short I was given lots of different versions of the progress until 3 weeks ago he said he was changing lawyers and had to start from scratch! I realised that he had been stringing me along. Always telling me he loves me and wants to grow old with me while all the time still remaining legally married to someone else. I was and still am heartbroken and explained to him why I was leaving him, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t like being lied to and find it insulting. How can I trust anyone that does that. He gave me some more excuses and told me I was making a big mistake to which I responded he made the big mistake. I left and ofcourse he never contacted me again or tried to fight for me or show me he had started divorce proceedings.
I feel hurt and deceived and very foolish. I am not getting over this as quickly as I would like but remain hopeful.
Mr.Perspective please I need some advice,
I broke up with my bf a week ago he is 37 I am 32. I got feed up with childish immature outbursts of him saying that he doesnt know what he wants but always kept me by saying he is sorry confused and he’s trying but I came to my limit and ended it we have been together for 2yrs and 9 months very close, very open with each other, In the first 8 months he cheated 3 times with a prostitute he told me we talked about it, it was one of those misunderstandings in communication since my behaviour led him to not trust me so we moved on, but since then everything was great 9 out of ten times was amazing that tenth time was like he was on his period not knowing confused with his teenage fantasies and rock star fantasies,(doesnt know what he wants maybe there is something better out there for him etc) I got tired I broke it off, not by blaming him I was very clear that I was sorry if I pulled him into a serious relationship and im letting him go to find something better, I do love him but saying youre going to let someone go because you love them and actually doing it is the hardest thing ive done. for 2 days it was radio silent, then for the past days he has been texting me goodmorning:) and goodnight:),(the smiley face made me wanna punch my phone) then just goodnight:) and then yesterday nothing I have responded to the messages saying goodmorning and goodnight but nothing more. Its really hurting its painful I try to linger to if I give him his space he will come back I keep waiting for him and cry everyday. Is it true that if you love someone let them go and if they come back it was meant to be ? Please any advice would be helpful.I always try to trust my instinct and gut but I am so foggy inside I can ‘t see clear.
Hi Cindy, It sounds like youe ex bf really does need to grow up which will take time. If at all. I think some space would do you some good to allow some time to review how it feels not not be with him. You could tell him you need some space (a few weeks / a few months) Take the time apart to see how you feel and see what he does. If he moves on so be it. Or perhaps you will. If you do decide to take him back, you need to accept him as is because you can’t make someone change. Only they can do that.
My ex boyfriend left me for no reason and I seriously want him back because i still love him…how do I do that?? Please help me…
I broke up with my bf a few weeks ago am 20 and he is 27,I have repeatedly caught him cheating on m several times with different girls and because I love him very much I have only forgave him BT when ever I caught him he never apologised he would blame m for checking his phone and finding what I wanted to see,at da end I caught him with another girl who they have recently started dating and apoun seeing DAT I caught him he started ignoring m,not contacting m and he shifted from where he lived which is 5 minutes from where I live so when ever I want to see him he would not come now am tired of begging a person where as he is the one wrong I have decided to live him alone as he has found himself new girlfriends…am confused will he come back or should I forget about him
Mr.Perspective please I need a tip what happens is that when I met him we were friends but as we met we were more interested every time until one day he kissed me he was 28 and I was 27 and I felt like he was love However, two months later he stopped talking to me and suddenly I see his profile on Facebook and I was in a relationship with another girl. I got sick but they got two months later and he talked to me again and I was surprised by what he was However, I talked to him indifferently and they thought for two weeks and told me to see each other again, and I was stupid but I saw him again and asked him straight away if he was using me and he did not tell me anything because I understood that he did not want anything with me that seemed so I blocked it in the wassap but we lived so many things together that I miss him what to do he talked to me again noce if he is waiting for me to speak to him again ???
Ok so my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me. We had a great relationship only like maybe 2 fights and it only lasted like 30 seconds. But on the 4th of July he comes in my room sobbing and said “I love you so so much carebear but I can’t…I can’t be the man you need me I be. The one you deserve.” And I started wailing as he walked out I fell to the ground screaming in agony for him to come back. That I loved him. That I’ll fix whatever he’s thinking. He looked over at me with glassy eyes and told me he loved me one more time then left me. On the ground. Crying my eyes out and screaming his name. The next day he texts me and says he made a mistake and he wants me back. But he’s kinda wary of it and tbh I am too I’m scared he will hurt me again. He left me once what’s to say he won’t leave me again? I told him he needed to change and become the guy he was before…the man I fell in love with. You see, I whole heartedly love this man. But since I loved him so much when he left I didn’t feel like living anymore…he was my heart, my world, my everything and it left. But now he wants to come back. My family thinks I need to move on Bc if he dumped me he didn’t love me enough to talk it out and get through it. He loved himself more than me. But idk…idk what to do and I need advice. Do I take him back? He seems genuine…
Do you know why your boyfriend wants to break up with you? Did you talk this through with him?
If he is refusing to see you, then there is little you can do. Yes, do not contact him and follow the no contact rules. Good luck!