You wake up expecting to give your boyfriend a kiss and once again, he’s gone. That’s the 5th time this week that he’s not around at your convenience and a sure sign you are dating a busy man.
Take it from someone who works all the time. I understand how frustrating it can be for you to want to spend quality time with your boyfriend. Yet it seems like you’re dating a workaholic.
You begin questioning your self worth, wondering if there’s something wrong with you. More or less there’s absolutely nothing wrong, in fact everything is right. You just need some advice on how to date a busy man.
What’s happening right now is that you’re over thinking things. Look at things for what they are and not more than that. The more meaning you give to something insignificant the more worry and stress you put yourself under.
Here’s How To Date A Busy Man.
1. Verbal Support
whether he’s working a regular 9 to 5 job, going to school full time, or pursuing his entrepreneurial endeavors. The one thing men want is support. We may not show our emotions as often as women but we do still FEEL. It’s important that you let your boyfriend know that you support him.
2. Actual Support
Many times women will say “I support you” but in all actuality it means nothing if you can’t stand being alone. Getting on your boyfriends case for being too busy isn’t support. That’s you going against your word and as men our word is our bond. So don’t just say you support him with your lips, say it with your actions.
3. Pick Up Hobbies
Chances are if you’re reading this article and feel like you’re always alone, it’s probably because you’re always hanging out with yourself. Get out of the house, get off of Facebook and other social media platforms and find something fun to do. Go on Craigslist and search the community section for fun activities. Invest in yourself and find self love. Depending on the love of someone else to feel complete is bad because eventually they will let you down.
4. Create Your Own Schedule
Having a sense of self is the best thing you can do for yourself. We cannot change the world until we change ourselves. So when you think about the anxiety you’re getting from being away from your boyfriend, it’s merely your perception of the situation you’re creating subconsciously. Take a deep breath and create a schedule that you enjoy that aligns with you partner. This will keep your mind from worrying about being away from your man and will definitely move you towards the final solution as to how to date a busy man.
5. Detach From Control
The only thing you can control in life are the choices you make. We can’t always control the outcome but we can certainly control our own choices. If you’ve ever found yourself being a mildly controlling girlfriend, learn to let go so you can grow. Asking where he is, who he’s with, what time he’ll be back, etc. are all clear signs of a super needy and mildly controlling girlfriend. Busy men do NOT like this. What they do like instead are confident women who are self sufficient in their own life. Remember: being in a relationship is about sharing a life, not making the other person your entire life.
6. Reflect His Actions
If you want to learn how to date a busy man, become a busy woman! The only way you’ll truly understand someone else’ life is to put yourself in their shoes. You’ll begin to see that while you are his love, there are other loves in his life and work may be one of them. (Yes, it’s okay to love what you do.)
7. Find Common Ground
There should always be a designated time for the two of you to come back and share what’s been going on in each others lives. This is key to having a successful relationship. For example: find a day that the two of you have off and focus on spending that time with each other. Go to the movies, hang out at the park, walk the dogs, grab dinner, grab a couples massage together, etc. Creating a ritual that only the two of you do will solidify your bond and you’ll cherish the moment you do spend together even more.
8. Be Aware of His Life
Sudden urges will arise within you to want to text or give him a call. Understand what his own schedule looks like so you can contact him accordingly. He’ll love that you’re respecting his space and will appreciate you much more.
9. Listen
You were given one mouth and two ears for a reason. Listening to his needs is very important as it will give you a better understanding of how things are going in his life and what upcoming events or schedules changes may be happening.
Jump to; How to find your life partner and keep him
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10. Address Your Needs
While your man may always be busy and have needs, be sure to address your needs in the relationship as well. Not every woman can deal with dating a busy man or has the commitment to change things in a relationship to find the best solution to answer How to date a busy man. It takes time adjusting and getting used to being alone. Let him know that you appreciate the little things he does and that you don’t ask for much. As men we sometimes need reminding on doing the little things that make you love us.
How about rules for busy men to date normal women. It’s easy.
Step 1/ When you know you will be free schedule a date. Have at least one date every 3 weeks scheduled.
Step 2/ If your going to be very busy for a weekend or two give us as much notice as possible so we can schedule other things then. We don’t mind alone time. We just don’t want to have to leave all our plans open to accommodate you.
Step 3/ If it’s more than 2-3 weeks til we can see you let us know (by saying it outloud just the once) that you’ll miss us, we matter to you & we’ll do something nice when you are free.
You are correct 100 percent
Thanks Mika. Dating a busy woman also has it challenges! All relationships have their own challenges and its important that we remember that. There are very relationships that are very simple, most require a degree of awareness to maintain and flourish.
Spot on Julie! Especially the step 2. @mr.perspective your point 3 (hobbies) is very profound. A lot of us women schedule our lives around our partners own activities. Thanks a lot.
Everyone has their own lives to live outside of the relationship, so there’s nothing wrong with maintaining an identity. It’s something that keeps an individual going. Despite hectic schedules, it’s important to support each other’s goals.
My boyfriend is a musician, and travels a lot to perform in concerts, weddings and other private events. Before he leaves, he would tell me where he’s going. Even though he’s NOT obligated to explain himself, I do appreciate the kind gesture. My boyfriend does stay in touch while he’s out of town. Whenever he has the free time, we’ll go for long walks at the park, watch movies at his home and have date night (dinner and dancing).
In order to fully keep my mind occupied, I’m working a full-time job. I do have other activities to enjoy, such as reading. Honestly, when someone is dating a partner that’s busy, communication is extremely important.
Don’t be insecure. If you’re having a difficult time trusting your partner, it’s best to end the relationship.
Well said La Trice.. Trust is a must in any relationship and vital when it comes to jobs or building businesses that require a lot of travel. If you are experiencing anxiety with regards to a travelling man, check out this article on signs a man wants to commit.
There are people who date for different reasons:
1. to pass time & just claim “they are dating” , have no intention of being IN a relationships with someone, are still growing up, in juvenile ideation/workaholism/distractions and are all ABOUT ME, ME ME…so this article seems fit for those guys
2 people who date to BE in a relationship, know the other person is A PRIORITY
3. People who have an INTENTION for their dating to go somewhere, and just like a job, major life purchase are ready to make COMMITTMENT/CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENT to make an effort
4. People who are clear about what they want, and don’t waste time getting it, life partner, marriage, living happily ever after
It’s obvious this article was written for boys/men who are in Phase 1.
-Awareness First
AGREED!
I agree!
It’s true women should still keep themselves busy so they won’t feel lonely or being left out and everything.
But I think if the relationship is a priority, the man will still make time. Even in the midst of very packed schedule, they can steal a minute or two just to hear their loved ones’ voice.
It’s all about priority.
I have just started dating a guy who works alot. He also lives 2 hours away. We have been chatting on Facebook for a while and we do talk on the phone. We both have started developing fellings for each each other. And then he said this tonight.
There’s only one thing that scares me. And that’s all the hours I work I’m not going to get to spend the time that I want to with you or the time that you want me to spend with you.
The part that scares me is how little I’ll get to see you and you will eventually get bored of me and find somebody else that gives you the attention you want.
Which was great and very honest to tell me. I guess I’m just wondering if the relationship will work and I’m nervous about continuing to get stronger feelings for him as time goes on. Looking for advice and suggestions please. Thanks
I’m in the exact same situation, except my guy lives 10 mins from me (Works 14+ hour days). We have been seeing one another less than a month so he knows feeling connected is important to me but I don’t want to push it. I’m giving it more time to see where it goes…I felt terrible getting my hopes up each weekend that maybe we’d get to do something and instead nothing happened other than a a 1 hour lunch date or 45 min coffee date. I was mad at myself for sort of waiting around for a guy. Typically, I fill my calendar and don’t wait for a man.
I get frustrated when we can’t meet over the weekends,when l insist on seeing him he thinks am spying on him but l just want to spent quality time with him,get to know him better. How do l go about this?
Sometimes, you meet this awesome man/ woman. You hit off, things are good but out of the blue there life gets totally crazy. It happens so you give them there space, I mean, no text or calls. But then you lose that initial attraction and you have to start back from scratch. It’s very awkward and sometimes there’s a wall there because of they feel bad and you don’t want to cause more stress by adding pressure. How do you get past that? Any advice is welcome!
I’d love to hear some feedback on that as well. I’ve been seeing someone who I met four months ago, but started to see about a month ago, as an interest. There is a strong chemistry between us, and complete strangers have even commented that we ‘go together’. He has a CRAZY busy schedule. Twin sons in college in two different states (he is a great Dad and is close with), and a job that is demanding and has him traveling internationally. I try to be patient, show my level of interest without being too much, etc. But it looks to me like I’ll be lucky if I see him twice a month. I’m letting a little more time pass, then I’m going to ask him if we can possibly get some type of weekly meeting on the calendar regularly. He lives about an hour from me. Even if we meet for dinner every other Thursday halfway between. Seeing interest and effort consistently from his side would help.
I rather date a busy sincere guy than a guy with zero ambition while I am trying to build a future together by working also and building towards a goal.