My friends ex asked me out and now I am really confused. If you can relate to this sentence then I highly recommend that you continue reading this article. As a guy I know this situation only too well and I would like to offer you some clarity on this particular issue. To make you feel more comfortable, I would like you to know that I have many female friends and I have seen this happen many times over and over again.
My friends ex asked me out what do I do?
Firstly if this is really a friend of yours, then the chances are high that your friend would not approve of this. In many cases friendships end because of this exact reason. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to risk losing this friendship over a guy. I can tell you now that if you say “yes” to this guy, your friendship with your friend will never be the same again.
My friends ex asked me out and I really like him.
My friends ex asked me out and I really like him, is a dilemma that happens to many girls at one time or another. Unfortunately there is a code between males and males and females and females. With us males we have a “bro code” which means that our brotherhood and friendship comes before females. We don’t even need to discuss it because it is an unspoken rule. In my friendship circle none of us would dare even kiss an ex of our friends. We know that this is just not the right thing to do and this would be breaking the “bro code”.
I know for females that you have a similar code. Even if you have not discussed it with your friends or even this particular friend, I can tell you now that your friend will not be happy if you date her ex. Even though you may really like her ex, for the sake of your friendship it may be best to turn him down. Unfortunately if the relationship between you and him don’t last, you will be left without a boyfriend and in many cases without your friend too. If you say yes to this guy you will be risking losing both of them, is it really worth the risk?
What happens if she has moved on?
Even if your friend gives you permission and she has moved on with another guy, you need to tread carefully. Once again I really don’t suggest that you go out with this guy. After all there are plenty of guys out there; you really can find other guys who are not your friends ex.
If they only went out for a brief period of time and I do mean a very brief period of time as in one month, then maybe you could say “yes”. However you will need to remember that this may not end well and you are taking a big risk. If you really like this guy and she has moved on, you need to consider how long she been with her new boyfriend. If she has been with her current boyfriend for years and this ex is from years ago, then it may be okay.
Try to consider the situation in reverse
One way to look at this situation would be to try to consider the situation in reverse. How would you feel if this particular friend wanted to date one of your ex boyfriends? Would this make you feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable? In fact what happens if you still had feelings for him but no one knew about it, not even him? The chances are high that this entire situation would not make you happy and you would prefer your friend to date somebody else.
If this is how you feel, you need to consider how your friend will feel. If your friend has been a good friend to you, then I really wouldn’t recommend risking the friendship. Even if she tells you that she is totally over her ex, she may not be telling you the truth, as she may be embarrassed or uncomfortable about it.
The biggest risk
Not only will you be risking your friendship with your friend, but there may be some things you haven’t even thought about. In some cases guys will try to hook up with their ex’s friends to try to get back at their ex girlfriend for something.
There may be all sorts of reasons and motives that this guy wants to date you. It really isn’t worth waiting around to find out. Plus do you really want to be someone’s sloppy seconds? The best way to proceed is to know my friends ex asked me out but I said no because I am a good friend and our friendship is more important to me than a guy.